Being called Mrs *-*

[LorlieS]

I'm married and a Ms My Last Name - His Last Name (hubby also double-barrelled when we married).
So why do so many people insist on addressing me as a Mrs?! AIBU to be annoyed by this?

I have no issues at all being described as a feminist. (I certainly don't think feminism is about 'destroying gender differences', although some feminists might be about that) - but I chose to be 'Ms' before I understood what feminism really was, and I wouldn't have allied myself with it at that stage.

Were you born a Ms?

@iLovee "The only Ms. I know....."

Do you genuinely only know one Ms?

What a strange question.

I guess some babies are born with titles - royalty and landed gentry for example. But surely the title that most of us have as a child, is given after birth based on sex. I don't think many are 'born with' a title.

It's not a strange question. I am asking was OP a Ms from when she was born. Or did she change her title to Ms from Miss? Because she seems to have an issue that people have changed from Miss to Mrs, what's the difference?

The difference is that one is used because of martial status, the other isn't.

You're married it's Mrs.
I'm single..l get called Mrs and I'm definitely a Miss.

So why did Oap change to Ms? Why not stay Miss? Why change at all if there's an issue with changing because of marriage?

@PutOnYourRedShoesAndLetsDance "You're married it's Mrs.
I'm single..l get called Mrs and I'm definitely a Miss."

Or-you're a woman it's Ms. Just as you're a man you're Mr.

Because Miss also denotes martial status.

I didn't think this was difficult to understand.

@TayIorShift presumably because she wanted a title that did not indicate her marital status.

Incidentally-my dd was born a Ms-as in as soon as anybody asked for a title for her she was a Ms. My choice, of course. But she's 28 now and still Ms!

Been married nearly 20 years and never once answered to Mrs.

(Nobody has the right to decide what I am called but me, BTW.)

So she still changed because of marriage. But harps on that you shouldn't change because of marriage, but yet she did.

People’s perceptions can be weird. I’m a Ms, but by some I’ve been calked a “skirt wearing feminist”. I don’t know what one of those is, but l have got a skirt on today.

Where do you get that she changed because of marriage?

I imagine that op doesn't want any title that reflects marital status and so was Ms before marriage too.

I disagree. Although I feel very very strongly that I want to be addressed as Mrs and will correct anyone who refers to me as Ms or Miss, I respect the right of other women to call themselves by whatever title they want, and people should follow their wishes. Women are fortunate that they have a choice of titles, and it doesn't bother me if someone gets my title wrong once. But when you know how someone wants to be addressed, it is just plain ignorant to call them by any other title.

@MassageForLife Indeed you are correct. I was a Ms before I married.

This. Obviously.

@AlwaysGinPlease @HeddaGarbled It may still be traditional form of address for a married woman, but it's not mine. I wish to be afforded the same right as men, and that is for my title to be entirely independent of my martial status.
I have no idea why anybody needs to know this?

No no no no no no no.

They aren't going to.

But you already have that right @LorlieS ? Nothing and nobody is preventing you, or me or anyone else using whatever title they see fit, providing they're not masquerading as something they're not to commit fraud, or whatever.

What you're talking about is people making incorrect assumptions, but they're going to do that about this, that and the other regardless whether it's because you're short, tall, male, female, wear glasses, have long hair or short hair - it goes on forever. Life's too short, for me at least.

It was traditional to be a young virgin and provide the husband with a dowry on marriage, but how many of the ‘you SHALL be called Mrs against your wishes’ posters managed that one? I’m guessing not many.

Traditions change.

@ForTonightGodisaDJ At my school they do and it is the expectation. It has been at every school I've ever worked in over my 20 year career.

I’m sorry if you’ve mentioned this, @LorlieS, but do you teach in a primary school or a secondary school?

If you’re a primary school teacher then you’re the only teacher of your pupils so it wouldn’t take much effort for their parents to remember your title once they’re aware of it. If you teach in a secondary school, though, I’m not sure you can reasonably expect parents to remember which teachers are Miss, which are Mrs and which are Ms if their children have maybe ten other teachers whose titles they have to remember (more if they have several children).

I introduce myself to parents using my first and surname anyway, personally, but I wouldn’t expect them to remember my preferred title even if I used it. I don’t think it’s about respect at all, for what it’s worth - I think it’s just that parents have a zillion other things to think about!