Partner turned off (My) wifi and upset my Son - AIBU

[candragonsbepurple]

My partner is childless. I have two children (A son who is eleven and a daughter who is seven)

My ex husband moved to take care of his Dad six months ago but before that we had been divorced two years. Exes Dad has cancer and he's alone (Ex is an only child and his Mum died way before I met him) I'd have moved myself and my children to be nearer to ex so they could see each other but Ex was completely adamant they stay where they are for school and their friends.

One of the ways my children communicate with their Dad is through video games. I dont know how it works but they talk to each other while they play. They do this every sunday for a few hours before tea time. Sunday just gone my son wasn't well but really wanted to play games with his dad. I said that was okay and I'd save him some dinner (I made him some eggs and soldiers)

My partner cut the wifi when my son didn't come to the table. His reasoning was my son was being disobedient but I'd told him three times that DS wasn't feeling a hundred percent and I don't force my kids to eat big meals when they are unwell. My son was understandably distraught thinking his Dad had ended the game without saying goodbye and my partner kicked off.

He started ranting and raving how under HIS roof my son should have more respect. I reminded partner that we live in 2024, not 1924 and the house I owned was mine that my Mother left to me.

I ended up kicking my partner out - He went home in a huff and now I'm being put in the middle by partner's Mum saying that I should teach my children respect.

AIBU in thinking it's not my partner's place to parent my children - he's not a live-in boyfriend, we've been together ten months and that his Mum should keep her nose out

Look at it positively. He’s shown you what he’s really like before you’ve asked him to move in. “Not under his roof” would become his anthem ( in what was formerly known as your house! )
His mother would constantly be telling you how to bring up your children.

Getting rid of him now will save you a lot of grief, your children a lot of upset and probably save you a shed load of money too. I’d look at it as a win-win as you wave him off for the last time.

What on earth?

Does it automatically become 'his roof' as soon as he sets foot in a house? Control freak

10 months has already moved in and making statements such as “under my roof” would set alarm bells ringing.

So 'as a man' would you think it is your right or even your duty 🙄to overrule a mother you're dating if she was ok with her kids occasionally not eating as a family?

He hasn't moved in. OP does say that he is not a live-in boyfriend.

I hope he's your ex. As a boyfriend, in your house, he has no right to touch the Wi-fi or demand that your son does anything.

It wasn’t HIS house
it wasn’t HIS wifi
it wasn’t HIS child
HIS mother is an interfering busybody

He was massively out of line and showing very controlling behaviour, can you imagine what he would be like if he actually moved into YOUR house

Your hopefully ex boyfriend is a complete twat. Who the hell does he think he is interfering with YOUR Wifi and YOUR parenting and talking about his roof when it's YOUR house?

And Mummy needs to keep her beak out too. Cheeky mare. None of this is anything to do with her.

Tell them both to fuck off.

Fucking hell. 10 months? And he's already behaving like that and calling your house HIS roof, even though he doesn't even live there or co-own it?!! Do you even need to post here for this??? Massive red flags.

yes get him out, keep him out,

Tell her she should tell her man-child that he should be mindful of acting outside of his authority and has no place making rules in a home he neither owns nor lives in.

You are absolutely right. He's YOUR son!! Good on you for sticking up for him

Well done for putting your son first and kicking your horrible partner out, op. It's nice to read. Your poor little boy with that horror living with him

Keep him kicked out and keep your kids away from them. Sounds like a horrible man (and interfering mother?!) and you’re well shot of the pair of them. Good on you for putting your son first.

This bullying prick is jealous and threatened by your Ex. He views the dad's contact with your kids as indirect contact to you. He cut the wifi because it was his dad and he couldn't stand it, and he hates your kids for being the reason you will always have contact with your Ex. If you let this bully back into your kids lives then frankly you are are unfit mother.

THIS.

ALL DAY LONG.

Your "partner" had a cock waving contest with your Ex using your poor innocent unwell son as cannon fodder. Why? Because your "partner" is insecure as fuck and your boy has now been harmed by it. Treat it as if he had hit your son, because the harm and aggression is the same. How dare this man come between your boy and his dad? Why the fuck are you not furious OP? Find your anger and protect your babies.

"Treat it as if he had hit your son"

this, he was boundary testing how much abuse he can get away with. If he's allowed to it will only escalate.

Why the fuck are you not furious OP? Find your anger and protect your babies.

She was furious and she chucked him out.

Glad you got rid of him. Seriously I guess this "man" has very little to his name and fancies your assets snd life as a cheap way to get it.

As for his mother calling you, what better sign than you dodged a bullet. The embarrassment of it

She claimed to be, but then came here to ask if it was ok.

She's not been back to this thread either so she's probably begged him back.

Its always cock before kids with these women.

No different than the mother of Madeline Soto.

You don't know that. She reacted when she needed to and did the right thing. It's easy to think afterwards 'Did I over react?'. Now she's been back up by posters hopefully she's already made it permanent. There's no need to be so insulting.

This. Exactly the sort of thing my abusive ex started to do. It's my greatest shame that I didn't leave much earlier than I did to protect my children. He also targeted contact with their father. Eg putting the router where the signal wouldn't reach their rooms and bannning them from speaking to their DF anywhere other than in their rooms (where there was no signal). When we were about to move he cut the WiFi completely when my DD was doing her GCSEs so couldn't access online resources so I had to buy a mobile package.
Please please get rid of him.
(Apologies in advance that I have not yet RTFT, I had to reply as soon as I read this because it really triggered me - I will read it now).

Still early days to have met the children, let alone thinking he has parenting rights.

Your partner sounds a bit of a twat, stopping a child having contact with his father is immature; he’s trying to get his mummy to fight his corner now sorry he’s not worth the hassle; you need a man not a wet blanket; cut him loose & look for someone who will actually care for all of you x

This "man" would no longer be welcome in my home and around my children! An how childish to get his mother involved when he was completely in wrong. Your poor son!