To dislike men who seek out foreign brides

[Hartley99]

There are quite a few documentaries about this on YouTube. The guy is usually ugly or boring or nerdy (usually all three). He claims to be ‘looking for love,’ when in reality, of course, he’s looking for a sexual partner. So he goes online and searches for girls in poor countries - often Thailand or Russia. In almost every case the girl is younger and/or much more attractive than him.

Recently, there was a documentary on channel 4, and I ended up having an argument with someone at work about it. They thought the whole thing was ‘sweet’ and funny and couldn’t see anything wrong. To them it made sense. The guy got to have sex with a girl out of his league, and the girl got to move to a richer country with more opportunities. To me it just seemed revolting. However you spin it, they are taking advantage of her poverty. They know that she wouldn’t look twice at them in any other circumstance. Apparently, after the invasion of Ukraine there was a massive spike in men looking for Ukrainian brides online. I mean that says it all. Or am I being uptight and judgemental?

It's not really complicated in the slightest. The fact that it sometimes works out ok, or at least doesn't end in a messy divorce, doesn't make it complicated. Why did he go abroad rather than to a nearby town or city? Simply, to capitalise on inequality. Nothing complicated about it.

Of course it's complicated- pretty much like everything else in life. There is so much judgement on here and moralising - the hypocrisy is exhausting

What's complicated about it then?

Which is pretty much what I said in my post. Did you mean to quote someone else?

Well why aren’t the men going to Africa and Jamaica, why Thailand or the Philippines ?

I've no idea.

I guess the Thai/Russian bride thing is part of the popular consciousness, so there will be an element of momentum. If men are sat at home googling potential mail-order brides, I expect they're going to be drawn to places that already have women registering with websites looking for a match.

As somebody said earlier on the thread, dating websites have started to globalise the dating market, so I expect things like Tinder will become more prevalent and we might see other countries becoming more popular - e.g. pick a country nobody tends to visit, step off the plane and update your Tinder profile. Novelty goes a long way in the dating scene.

Out of curiosity, I had a look last night. I scrolled through four or five pages and all the women were in their 30s or 40's, which certainly runs contrary to the popular image of Thai brides. They all look fairly normal.

https://www.rosebrides.com/thai-brides.html

If you are seeking a woman with beautiful, exotic looks and a lovely disposition, a single Thai lady is the way to go. Thai women love to laugh and tend to be quite happy. They are demure and sweet in public, perhaps a bit shy, but when alone with their partner they are open and sexually accommodating.
The majority of the girls of Thailand are petite and youthful in appearance. Their golden tanned skin and large almond eyes really attracts the attention of most men. They seem to always want to look their best, even if they are just staying at home with their husband. They try to stay fit, eat right, and look good for their mates.
The girls of Thailand respect their spouse and also his side of family. They respect elders and never refuse to help in any given situation. The women of Thailand are lovingly faithful to their husbands. Most Thai women act very sweet, demure, and polite; they do not shout or nag. The husband of a Thai bride will be quite pleased and even spoiled with all her attention.

Fuck me. But no.. men using them aren't mysoginistic arseholes straight from an incel hole. Nope, not at all.

There are 18 yos on there. 18!! They might be South American rather than Thai, but the principle is the same.

You can't tell me that any man that buys an 18 yo is looking for fucking love!

Jesus fucking Christ

I think they think they are. And I think they think the women have fallen in love with them as well (after two dates).

I’ve watched a few documentaries on foreign brides, and the self-delusion of the men is staggering. I remember seeing a news report once on brothels in Cambodia or Thailand or somewhere. The report focussed on the underage girls who work in these places. The journalist had followed two middle-aged American guys (big men, who probably weighed 18 stone or more) as they disappeared upstairs with these little girls who, frankly, looked like children. She said what sickened her the most was that one of these girls had taken the man by the hand, and she heard the man say to his friend “I think she’s chosen me.”

That’s how a lot of these guys see it. They go to places like Thailand or Georgia and indulge a fantasy. They really do convince themselves that these girls, who are often 30 years younger than them and far more attractive, have fallen in love with them. There is a YouTube clip of an obese American guy, with a weird, nerdy personality, who has travelled to Ukraine to date foreign brides. He’s sitting at a table waiting for his date, and he says “I’ve come to meet X, but I’m going to sit in the corner because I don’t want to be fighting off the other women.”!!

That link to the site is interesting. I find the 'sexually accommodating' particularly telling (and disturbing). There really isn't even the pretence there that the women actually desire these men, just that they will tolerate them sexually without complaint whenever (and presumably however) they're required to. Surprised that the poster defending this practise thought bringing this to our attention supported their case simply because some of the women featured are only 20 rather than 30, years younger than the men. Blatant and dangerous racist stereotyping, and an encouragement to treat women as commodities.
Yet men who see this and think 'that's a good idea!' are just lonely victims of UK women who are too 'nasty' to see beyond their looks to the all round good guy they really are.

Men are very foolish and delusional with women, especially of they're lacking experience.

Men go to stripclubs And think the dancers likes them just because it's their job to be nice to them. Most men will never be chatted up by a woman, so when a woman is all over them it throws them.

I think some are deluded, but I think many others simply don't care. The views of the women, whether they are happy in the relationship, whether they are having sex from desire and enjoyment rather than obligation and compulsion is of no importance as long as they provide a steady supply. The wording used to advertise the women makes it plain they will not refuse them, and I imagine that's all that really matters. After all, no one considers if their vacuum enjoys sucking up dog hair or their washing machine likes their dirty pants.

There are men & women that go to Thailand & some other Asian countries
There is a big gay scene too

However, countries do not allow gay relationships

The 40 year old women on those sites are for the 60-70 year old men that don’t want kids.

They may seem accommodating but the man is a means to an end and if they become your stepmother you can kiss goodbye to your inheritance. They may act demure but they are savvy, it’s a family business for them.

The women choose the foreigner for a wealthier lifestyle, I have seen it in my own extended family. There are winners and losers in the game. There is the chance to get a passport to later leave and travel freely. If the women already have children, they get these benefits too.

They could marry a local guy, they choose not to, they are not forced to go with old Uk/USA/Europe etc guys.

No comment on the men that choose 18 year olds?

It's all about the nasty , gold digging forrin women, coming over here , bamboozling our grandfathers out of our inheritance right?

I have seen it with my cousin who lived out there and had a few wives and gf. 10-20 years younger, think he was gross for various reasons. The women knew exactly what their game plan was. It did not work out completely for the women, but they benefited and so did their family.

The 18 year olds? Honestly they are the pinnacle and can get younger westerners guys, they do not need to go for oldies.

But 18 is too young for sure.Early 20s maybe.

My neighbour is in his 40s and married a Thai not much younger, authentic couple, loads of kids. He was short, like 5’4, he said he could not find a gf over here. He has his own business.

I am not anti these women, Ive just seen the various types first hand through my cousin and his guy friends living out there. It doesn’t always work out for them, but they always gain something from the arrangement.

I think your premise is incorrect.

That website is women looking for men and the men have no control over which women advertise for husbands.

I scrolled through around ten pages before I got bored and didn't see any 18 year olds. The vast majority were aged 40-60.

Now, is it mainly older women because all the young ones have been snapped up or is it simply older women, that have been married before, that are looking to change their lives?

He was short, like 5’4, he said he could not find a gf over here.

😀

Perhaps they are less hung up on looks and look more to what the man can bring overall.

What they can 'bring' is a visa and residency in a relatively rich country.

Can't say I blame them . I worked with a Filipino lady who married a British man who told me that there is no NHS like we have here . She said back home if you couldn't afford an operation you die , like wise with medication . She sent money home to her parents .

I agree. Much as people love to complain about Britain and the NHS, relative to much of the world it's a fantastic place to live.

But let's not pretend that these middle aged men are a catch for anything other than pragmatic reasons.

A Lot of these women are not stupid and they know once they are married and settled in the UK they then have a hold over the guy and can get half of everything he owns . They come across as meek and mild but are very much in charge at home . What they say goes and they like a good standard of living , nice clothes , designer bags etc . The girls I worked with told me so , one of them had her hubby doing every thing about the house . He said he was proud to have her on his arm and seeing the envy in other men's faces 😂

Their choice so long as both parties are happy I have no issue with it.

This is it . As long as people are happy and not being exploited or abused then good luck to them