Menopause is really not that bad.

[DaisyRayi]

Misleading title kind of hoping for more traffic.

I could probably do some research and read up about it but what exactly is it that happens to women when they go through menopause.

You hear about women having their careers ruined etc.

Not comparing things but during pregnancy and post patrum I was feeling very doom and gloom but only realised the feelings were due to the pregnancy hormones now that I’m back to normal.

I spent 3 days without a patch on last week. The painful cramps that developed in my legs were horrible. Within an hour or so of putting a patch on, they went. It is indeed horrible

Menopause is different for every woman. I was extremely lucky to sail through my first menopause with no recognisable symptoms.
I am now going through a second menopause due to some medication I am taking for cancer. I have hot flushes. I sleep really badly. I ache, everywhere, all the time. I have terrible fatigue. And other things. Please do your research - you may be lucky and sail through, just as I did. You may be very unlucky and have ALL the physical and mental symptoms. Menopause symptoms are very real, it's just that not everybody gets all of them.

Didn’t find your title rude OP. I know nothing about pregnancy as I’ve not lived it.

My peri/meno has been middling so far I’d say.

It started with fatigue. Crippling fatigue! A nap every day.

Then joint pain. Couldn’t lift the dog water bowl.

Then the migraines. Just horrific. Days off work, in bed, unable to bear any light.

Went to GP and they tried to diagnose arthritis. Then depression.

I fought for HRT (because NHS won’t automatically give it unless you’re 45 and I was 43).

Second I was on HRT, all symptoms gone! Pretty much overnight.

So now I’m great ✌🏼

i have a friend who is 39 already struggling with peri and friends who are 55 who have glided through with no issues. Every body is unique.

But in glad it’s everywhere now. Awareness is power (including the power to say no to meds if you want).

One of my friends has debilitating hot flushes and surges of rage and she is in her late 60s. But statistically, for 75% of women it is "not that bad" - 50% with moderate and manageable symptoms, and 25% sailing through.

In my case, I never had a hot flush, and I certainly enjoy not being in constant severe pain from endometriosis, for example.

Well the good news is that women who suffer from post partum depression are far more likely to suffer from the mood related elements of perimenopause. So, start reading up as you are likely to suffer.

I went straight from childbearing years into peri-meno. Here is a list of the symptoms I have had, that I can remember. It's been going on for about 14 years so far and I am still having irregular cycles.

Mood swings and rage
Night sweats
Hot flushes
Hair loss, but also a beard
Debilitating anxiety and depression
Self harm and suicidal thoughts
Brain fog and memory loss
Concentration span gone
Aches and pains which went after HRT
Insomnia
Lost libido
UTIs and incontinence
Tiredness and inability to exercise
Weight gain
Receding gums
Itching, creeping skin
Itchy ears
Vaginal dryness

It took years for my GP to listen to me, and only then after my H walked out because he couldn't cope with me any more and they defaulted to antidepressants. I am now stable but it massively impacted my career, my experience of motherhood, my marriage, you name it. H is now home, but I can't get all those years back, I can't get my memories of my children back. My career won't get back to the same trajectory.

I am now on HRT, and will never stop. The risks are massively overblown and misunderstood by most people who dismiss menopause as being natural and something women should put up with. So are a lot of medical conditions, but that doesn't mean we just dismiss them and leave people without appropriate treatment. HRT does not cause breast cancer, but may in some very specific circumstances increase the risk by a very small amount. I would rather have that, than all the above and feeling like I am losing myself for the rest of my life.

I was in medically induced menopause for 3 months and the symptoms were absolutely horrific: hot flushes and extreme sweating, inability to regulate my body temperature, insomnia, anxiety, extreme rage, headache, swollen gums, dry skin and hair, joint pain. I still haven't recovered completely.
So yeah, menopause is crap for some women and your opening post is offensive.

What can I say?
It's very individual.
After a life with underactive thyroid issues, it is not that bad.
🙄😖

I didn’t have postpartum depression. Doom and gloom might’ve been wrong choice of words. I was faced with some challenging situations and I was rather emotional. Now the hormones cleared, presented with similar situations and it seems almost none-issue.

But still the same point. The hormones.

Whilst we’re all here talking about menopause, can I ask if there is any truth to taking HRT as “delaying the inevitable” and that if we take it, we will go through the menopause anyway when we stop? My mum was prescribed it in the 90s as she had teenagers and elderly parents and a full-time job and her GP said it would hold the menopause for “a more convenient time” ie when she was older and was not as in demand. Anyone got any up-to-date info on this?

@Paninaro94 I do not know if it is the case with everyone. But my friend took HRT until she was 69 and her GP insisted she came off it. She then had all the menopausal symptoms back for a few years.
I am not convinced it is easier to deal with symptoms when you are older.

I’m professionally involved in this area. We usually say that around a third of women breeze through the menopause, a third have some troublesome but manageable symptoms and a third will have significant symptoms. So a pretty even split.

@BlueBadgeHolder Me neither. I’m experiencing some symptoms now- periods getting further apart, restless legs, burning tongue, sleep issues etc and don’t think I have even really got into it yet. However, I think it will all be significantly easier to deal with in my late 40s than older. I just wondered if the “you’re just putting it off” thing about HRT was actually true or bollocks.

@ItsFuckingBoringFeedingEveryoneUntilYouDie

Totally relate so here's a massive hug x
(Your username is fecking brilliant too!)

It doesn't hold off the menopause it alleviates the symptoms of oestrogen deficiency. When you stop HRT for many women the symptoms come back but that's because they are no longer treating a deficiency. Oestrogen will never naturally come back, it's just some women adapt to not having it.

I wish I had taken HRT when I was perimenopausal. I went through hell but without any supporting knowledge I was very anti HRT. It was only when my symptoms increased that I gave in. I wasted 6 years of my life feeling awful.

The year before I went on HRT, I used to get out of bed and walk down the stairs sideways like an old, old woman, because my joints were so painful. I don't know why oestrogen plays such an important role with the bones and joints, but my GP just dismissed it despite it being in the NICE guidelines. He suggested arthritis.

So like neighbourhood parking surveys then?

You've made an informed choice. That's good and that's the right choice for you.

We all have choices to make. When I decided not to take HRT at menopause I didn't have all the information that I now have and hadn't realised that it was at high risk of osteoporosis for various reasons (my risk factors are: slim build, low BMI, female, post menopause, mother had osteoporosis, avoided sunbathing because I burn easily - so likely vitamin D was low, had a sedentary desk-based job involving long periods of sitting). I think had I known the risk I would have considered HRT at the time.

But I do take issue with your claim that HRT doesn't protect the cardiovascular system. I'm sure I've read recently of clinical trials that show that is of significant benefit.

I have been on HRT for 17 years - every single time I stopped the night sweats have returned with a vengeance. Changing the bed in the night is really horrible to say nothing of the embarrassment. I am once again reducing HRT and have halved the medication - night sweats are back but not quite as bad as previous times so will see how it pans out.

If the sweats return as bad as before that is it, I am not trying again.

I went into menopause overnight after radical hysterectomy and wonder if this contributes to the duration???

This thread is so helpful, I started HRT on weds after months of depression, anxiety, insomnia and lots of other peri symptoms (including farting).
I see several posters mention its ruined their career, can I ask how?
I fear I've just done that myself and am looking to resign shortly and start my own business. Is this wise when I'm so hormonal?

I’m 44 and in the past couple of years I’ve started really struggling to get to sleep (for like hours every night).

And it’s wrecking my career - where before I was fine in my quite stressful job I have such anxiety about it now I’ve had to leave. Plus my PMT is about 500% worse than I’ve had before and that’s when my anxiety really kicks in.

It could all be a coincidence but I’m pretty sure hormones are a big contributing factor

mine coincided with my husband having a nervous breakdown and losing his job and me working in the most stressful environment - it was hard to separate what was menopause and what was stress..

I got through it though. And now looking back I can see where I was over reacting and paranoid in situations that now I'd be able to keep my cool in or see them for what they were 'some other fuckers problem'.

I must have been one of the 25%, I only realised it had happened much later! That was quite a long time ago when it wasn't the big deal it has become.

I have never taken HRT. I have an underactive thyroid and oestrogen can affect thyroid hormone levels if you’re already not making enough of it. My physical symptoms were never that bad but my mental ones were. But after a couple of years they got better. I’m 62, last period at 50 and feel fine now.

I'm astounded that the OP, who claims to be a 40 year old woman, is surprised that women's experiences of the menopause are so varied.

I mean, "she" obviously knows that women's experiences of menstruation vary greatly, having had so many herself, so I don't buy "her" feigned surprise by the differences in menopause experiences.

It's rather like some bloke asking for our experiences for some peculiar reason........🙄

Good for you if you have sailed through the menopause unscathed. I and many other women haven't. So yes, do some fucking research.