Menopause is really not that bad.

[DaisyRayi]

Misleading title kind of hoping for more traffic.

I could probably do some research and read up about it but what exactly is it that happens to women when they go through menopause.

You hear about women having their careers ruined etc.

Not comparing things but during pregnancy and post patrum I was feeling very doom and gloom but only realised the feelings were due to the pregnancy hormones now that I’m back to normal.

Very insulting and ignorant.

The physical symptoms I could live with, but the crippling anxiety and depression for four years was something else. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone. The only good thing is that it does pass.

The hormone loss is permanent.

You do not "go through it". You live with it. From ~45 onwards.

I've had a pain in my side since the menopause started and I've been for all sorts of tests, still no idea what it is.

Last ultrasound here in France they give you the results there and then, and the ultrasound lady was 'oh my goodness, so much wind you have, all over' in broken English. I had to say in broken French 'yes, yes I do have alot of wind, all day, every day'.

I agree on all counts.

Oh my god, I thought it was just me with the farting 😲, I’ve not read that before and I’ve read so much about menopause. I take HRT and testosterone, I really, really struggle with progesterone. I have the 3 month estrogen regime followed by two weeks of shitty progesterone then a bleed, after the first week I literally turn into someone I don’t know, I’m vile, a real old miserable cow, hate everyone and everything. I look at it that the HRT generally gives me my life back and I only have to do progesterone 4 times a year, I can’t afford 9k for a hysterectomy, which would solve everything, I don’t need my womb anymore.

i did find something that helps with the flatulence though. My first drink in the morning is a good teaspoon of turmeric with a blob of honey and hot water, I also put a drop of coconut milk in it, this really helps. I also take Optibac which is a probiotic, both of these have helped with the bloating. I now follow the 16:8 fasting regime and this has helped with weight gain and I feel much better on it.

I’ve also avoided all the nasty colds and cough’s that my husband has had this year, I put it down to the Turmeric, it’s really good for the immune system. One tip though, sip through a straw to avoid discoloured teeth, although it does brush off 😬

Bollocks. What most people mean by menopause is actually the perimenopause, or what used to be called "The Change". It is not something you live with permanently. It begins at different ages for different women. And for a proportion of women (around 25%) it is barely noticeable.

Once you have gone 12 months without a period you are through the menopause and are postmenopausal.

Your hormonal profile is different - as was your hormonal profile before menarche. I quite enjoyed pre-menarche. And postmenopause is fabulous.

Such an interesting thread, and I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this but here goes - when something affects people and it’s been previously a bit ‘taboo’ to speak of it, in an effort to change that lots and lots of terrible stories and experiences come out - absolutely rightly so, as people (especially women) should be able to talk about it. And find solidarity, and this is important. However, the effect of this is that sometimes all we hear about are the bad stories when surely there must be also millions of women who it’s just been ‘fine’ for? I’m terrified of hitting menopause as convinced it will be awful. A comparison is new motherhood, all you hear when pregnant is how awful it will be, depression, sleepless nights not bonding with the baby…and it’s important to talk about those things but equally important to hear from the (I’m assuming) millions of mums like me where it’s just been ‘fine’ not too bad, and actually quite nice!

@Snippit I really struggled with the progesterone as well - I'm on a Mirena now, so smaller dose more consistently. It's a 1000 x better.

I think I need to start a club - "Farting Menopausal Women's Club".
If we coordinate it could be like a choir.
😂😂😂

I had postnatal depression etc

Trust me menopause is much much worse. I nearly committed suicide, I lost my marriage, I wasn't me.

Don't tell me it's not that bad

That’s how I felt. Then one morning I woke up with severe bladder pain and had my first UTI. It wouldn’t be my last. It went on for months. I felt constantly tired, had awful hot flushes, suffered a prolapse and developed a horrible discharge that made me itch. After several tests the doctors couldn’t figure out what it was until one lady doctor told me she thought it was vaginal atrophy. That was also why I was getting so many UTI’s. Even the HRT didn’t help with that. Luckily I discovered that vaginal moisturiser helped but I have to use it every day. I am largely symptom free now with the combination of both. But the brain fog persists, I am always forgetting things like people’s names or why I am standing in the kitchen and have no idea what I went there for. As for the greasy skin be prepared for that to come back, I had terrible spots when the menopause first started, big boil type ones on my face with multiple heads.
My friend however, who is a bit older than me, had no symptoms at all.

I do see it in a positive light, moving towards a time in my life where I am senior and confident in my work, children are almost grown up and I have more time to myself and headspace and DH and I can do things together without complicated childcare arrangements. The Chinese call it Second Spring and that is how I think of it.

But I am not quite there at full menopause yet. I had a really shit time with hormones aged 35-42 personally and I have felt better since then and I feel great being back on the combined Pill until the age of 50, so much fitter and healthier with more energy - also due to diet, exercise and lifestyle changes.

Charming.
You are obviously wrong. It is clearly a permanent state. Caused by lack of hormones. It does not resolve, unless you replace the hormones.
Many women in their (up to) 80s and 90s take HRT for this reason.

Please do not lecture me on the menopause/peri menopause/post menopause. What I mean by it or "what most people mean by it"

@Snippit I've always struggled with progesterone. I was told I was progesterone intolerant, and had a terrible time on mirena, depo, mini-pill (all of which are progestin, a synthetic hormone, rather than progesterone). I felt anxious and depressed all the time.

Since menopause I’ve been on proper progesterone, continuously, and surprisingly have been fine! I don’t know whether that’s because it’s natural rather than synthetic, or because it’s continuous and it’s actually hormonal fluctuations that I can’t cope with.

I felt the same as you when I went through menopause. However, I very much regret that I did not take HRT at the time.

I only discovered years later that HRT has a great many health benefits for women, particularly if it's taken in the years immediately following menopause.

I urge everyone to read up on the benefits before choosing not to take HRT.

I finally started HRT 14 years after menopause in my early 60s. Because of my age when I started, the risks are a little higher (risks are virtually non existent for younger women) and the benefits somewhat less - but I'm still determined to stay on it for as long as I can, to help protect what I have left of my bones.

Never had any issues at all neither did any of my siblings/mum - guess it’s all in the genes!

I'm always too hot
My sleep has deteriorated
I always need the loo

But...
I find my new 'don't care' attitude to life to be an absolute super power. I don't care what people think about me, I'm more confident. I'm still always polite but no longer a pushover or people pleaser it's great.

Tell me, do you consider the childhood of a girl such a terrible thing? A girl before her periods is a healthy creature, not someone who 'lacks hormones". We go back to a similar hormonal profile postmenopause. There is nothing to "resolve" - unless you are having distressing vasomotor symptoms, in which case HRT is helpful.

Given you made false statements, I thought some basics facts might be helpful. You don't seem very well informed. Or coherent.

I am backing away from you.
Goodbye.

Careful, you might trip over a fact or some manners on your way.

For some people, it's a nightmare.

For others like myself, it's been pretty straightforward actually. A little bit of hot sweats a night, solved by a lighter duvet, a bit of weight gain, but that's about it.

The celebs lecturing me about it really grate. They don't represent everyone but they act like they do. I really don't want any special concessions or attention became I'm of that age

I has a rough few years before I went on HRT, I literally couldn’t sleep, decision making was incredibly hard. I varied from having really heavy periods to no periods for 11 months only for them to return alongside the biggest feeling of rage which latest two weeks each month.
For me 46-49 weren’t great years which unfortunately was a couple of years earlier than my friends so if I tried to talk to anyone they didn’t know what I was talking about.
Nearly all of my friends have had a bad couple of years due to menopausal symptoms, mainly in their early 50’s.
I am 55 and feel like I’ve come out the other side and it almost feels worth going through the bad times as I now feel really good. I thought it was a cliche when people talked about getting to a certain age and not giving a damn about lots of things that used to bother you or caring what people thought but for me it’s been a real thing that has happened.

The celebs lecturing me about it really grate. They don't represent everyone but they act like they do. I really don't want any special concessions or attention became I'm of that age

Completely agree. I find it all quite patronising. See also menopause cafes.

Yes same here . I think once you come through the menopause it's like an Ephithany . I could see looking back what I did right and what I did wrong . I can see where I should have cut off from people and situations and told more people to Fuck off .