Menopause is really not that bad.

[DaisyRayi]

Misleading title kind of hoping for more traffic.

I could probably do some research and read up about it but what exactly is it that happens to women when they go through menopause.

You hear about women having their careers ruined etc.

Not comparing things but during pregnancy and post patrum I was feeling very doom and gloom but only realised the feelings were due to the pregnancy hormones now that I’m back to normal.

I think, given the wide variance of responses here from only a relatively small amount of women, that the answer is : we don't know, because we need a lot more research on this and within women's healthcare generally. We're not just slightly different men with a few extra bits in our abdomens and what it means to be female wrt our health experiences and outcomes throughout our lifetimes is only beginning to be understood.

Can you show me the statistics your comment relies on?

I became Peri around the age of 40. Am 51 now and still not out the other side. I am on HRT and I still get periods but so very light which is a bonus as I suffered with heavy periods from the beginning.

One thing you need to know about menopause is that it's not a 1 size fits all condition.

Bad things.....
I've put on weight.
I am always too warm.
I have insomnia which in turn leave me like a permanently tired pigeon.
I have terrible motivation to do anything.
I have osteopenia.
I have tinnitus
I only have to move and farts come out.
I have aching joints which is prob from the weight gain but no matter what I do I can't seem to shift it. It was hard before but so much bloody harder now.
Brittle and soft nails.
Sensitive teeth.

Good things.....
I have learned not to give a fiddlers what people think about me.
HRT works for me and that's great.

I do think a lot of companies have jumped on the menopause band wagon and it's such a shame as a lot of what is being marketed wouldn't touch the sides but don't dismiss menopause as something and nothing. Many woman years ago ended up the "nut house" because there was no such think as HRT and they were classed as mental. Thank God we have moved on from that but there is still a way to go before it's taken seriously especially by men.

My mother thought menopause was completely bearable. Her bones started snapping in her late-70s. There's more to menopause than hot flushes!

I work with someone who thinks "it's all fine" but she is now a mass of rage, stress and anxiety, and none of us are quite sure who she's going to be at any given time, as her moods seem to change hourly. She's fine though, apparently. I feel for her, but she isn't helping herself 🙁

To those people who took offence or are amazed I didn’t realise the experience can vary widely for everyone, why not to take the time to share your experience. Knowledge is power. There is no such thing as a stupid question. Why not educate me?

there are shed loads of publications about the effect of the menopause. Just read some actual research. Why do you need MN posts for that?

I could have written this.

I am 10 years on and a completely different person emotionally and physically. I don't recognise myself now or who I was before my hysterectomy.

Fortunately I don't have to work but I don't think I could due to the fatigue, overheating and sweating. Also a total inability to cooperate and get on with most people would probably hold me back!

OMG the farting... glad it's not just me! And I agree with your username btw

I didn't even mention permanent brain fog, restless legs and insomnia because they are just the norm now.

Also zero motivation to do anything.

This made me laugh - are we measuring our menopause now?? 😂

To be fair to you, a few years ago when I went through menopause I thought it would just be hot flushes and being a bit cranky. I really wish I’d learned more about it but it generally wasn’t talked about back then.

There’s been an explosion of information over the past three years, which is very positive and was sorely needed.

Women have very different experiences across the board, whether that’s periods, how they react to various methods of contraception, menopause, pregnancy and childbirth, etc. I had three very easy labours (maybe because I was used to extreme pain from years of endo/adenomyosis), but I appreciate that I was very lucky and got off easier than most women. I’d never dismiss their painful experiences.

We should be sticking together to support each other, not tearing each other down.

My mom suffered terribly but I sailed through - I had a history of heavy painful periods

Mom was still having hot flushes into her 80's. She had bowel cancer and the Macmillan nurse said that was the cancer. If anyone has hot flushes that go on longer than you think they should talk to your doctor. I so wish we had known this

Think of how when you are pregnant your body is flooded with changing levels of hormones. Some women breeze through pregnancy with zero issues and some even say they feel better. Some women have very tough pregnancies, feel suicidal, have pain and other symptoms. Most women have some negative pregnancy symptoms but manage.
Most women not on HRT get some vaginal atrophy after menopause - rarely mentioned. Dryness and thickening of the vaginal walls that can cause issues from pain on intercourse, to feeling like you have constant cystitis with incontinence issues.
Plantar fasciitis is also very common as the fat pad on your foot reduces. This is why so many middle aged women wear sensible shoes, your feet hurt if you don't.

This reminds me of those lovely, sisterly, non-divisive threads with titles such as
" motherhood is a breeze"
" being a sahm is the best!" and
"Breast is best!"
"

@TheseLegsDefinitelyUsedToBeLonger note the first sentence in capitals

Well pre-menopause my waist was around 28 inches. It's quite a lot more than that now

Yes I was aware of the first sentence in capitals... 🙄I shall take my sense of humour elsewhere

I think you need to accept OP that the impact of the menopause varies from women to women. I had very mild symptoms. For some of my friends the symptoms were very severe and left them physically and mentally barely able to function. The menopause needs to be regarded as what it is- a natural phase of life which can have serious consequences for women and where diagnosis, assessment and treatment will be appropriate in a large number of cases.

I have only had minor symptoms. I'm lucky. Others not so.

I had to leave my job due to paralysing anxiety.

So yeah, it’s not that bad🤔

As if everything in life OP, everyone is different. I am lucky I've sailed through, no weight gain/flushes/anxiety etc my periods just stopped and I don't feel any different apart from I'm happy I don't have the hassle of periods anymore or the pre menstrual migraines that accompanied them. Other women aren't so lucky.

I think of it like pregnancy and childbirth. It's only the bad cases that you hear about and unfortunately those are the ones that get publicised and then it becomes a whole industry in itself, eg shampoo for menopausal hair etc etc

Mine was/is awful. I'd had a coil fitted so never knew when my peoiods stopped. I didn't know what was causing my crippling anxiety and thought I was losing my mind. My GP was hopeless and put me on anti-depressants. I ended up leaving my job because I just couldn't do it any more. Now doing something much less stressfull/lower paid.
Davina's documentary on C4 ( a really recommended watch)was a lightbulb moment. I didn't get any of the stereotypical symptoms...hot flushes etc.
My libido has vanished

"I am 60 and I sailed through it at 45, I didnt need HRT" says my 60 year old friend with a dowagers hump, recently unable to have sex with her husband as "she cannot be bothered and he doesnt mind"

OK yes, you sailed though it... until you didn[t.

There is a PP who is period free for 5 months and "sailed through it"
I feel sorry for her. There are always consequences for massive hormone reduction as you age. Some, very, very serious.

Heart. Brain. Bones. In old age.

You know how many women die because of/resulting from oesteoporosis?

If you haven't reached menopause, have a wee think. Do you have painful periods? If so, do you think everyone else has? Or not? Do/did you have trouble conceiving? Straightforward pregnancies? Was breastfeeding easy? Is everyone the same or do you look around you and see other people struggling more than you? Or breezing through compared to you? Menopause is the same. It's bespoke! It might be ok or it might be a living hell. But it's fantastic that we can talk about it now rather than pretend everything's ok. Just because it's a natural phase in a woman's life doesn't mean it's easy.

Oh yeah, and vaginal atrophy isn't much fun either. As for there being too much publicity...bring it on. I wish all this information had been available when I was peri. Ignorance is not bliss.

My own mother thought she 'sailed through it' until my sister and hit it and when she realised how many crazy symptoms are now recognised as menopause related. Now she's not so sure.

And I know you've tried to qualify your OP title but right now, when I'm in the thick of it and finding most days an almighty struggle, it's most definitely insulting.