I’ve reported this TikTok psycho to his employer?

[DolceGoldie]

I’m not sure if I should’ve done this and I’m having some regrets now. Last night, got into a bit of a spat on TikTok my first ever and I’m embarrassed.

Saw a video of a man building a “titanic” slide for his kids where he got them to slide and then pretend they were dying. Lots of comments, and in my wine and emotional (period) state I commented that it wasn’t really funny as over 2000 people died in the titanic including children. That was it.

Two hours later check my phone and he’s sent me a barrage of abuse, including saying I should shut my mouth, get my face to take a shit? And then he hopes I die in a fatal car crash and that I get raped and murdered and that I’ve made a “fatal mistake”. Truly vile in comparison to my comments about the titanic. He had blocked me so I couldn’t respond, not that I would’ve wanted to instigate it or bothered.

So I go onto his page to have a nosy, and he’s got his full pics and videos of him playing with kids, and videos of him working for his employer including a badge and their name- so in my fury I emailed his employer telling them that this kind of person is saying these things and representing their brand and that violence against women even suggestive isn’t on. I attached a screenshot of some of the comments.

Now I feel a bit stupid and nervous this morning as it was only a TikTok spat and I’ve escalated it, at the same time why do men get away with speaking to you like that? I didn’t have anything identifying in my email or TikTok to my name or location.

Bore off dear.

This - OP needs to take the threats she’s received to the police and report on TikTok.

My relatives survived lots of things too, including the Ice Age and the Black Death, bless them. When I'm feeling sentimental I get out a picture of them and think about how much jolly fun I had with them all those centuries ago!

Ancestors is a wee bit different from relatives, love, unless your DH is the Nobel prize winning product of some kind of cryogenic experiment.

It's one thing to have an online spat with someone (which you started, without invitation
I dont think she started a spat.
She has uncovered an unexploded bomb, this man is a liability, the area needs to be evacuated while he is neutralized

Hope there's no way he can find your address now. Stay safe. Sounds a bit of a headcase.

She was offended by something she saw on the Internet, and decided she was the person to do something about it for her own sense of satisfaction. Like that's ever made a difference in the history of the Internet.

I'm not debating whether she's right or not. I'm saying that the consequences for her may well far outstrip any satisfaction she got from being "right", regardless of whether the consequences for him are worse.

Making that kind of value judgement is part of being an adult. Acting without thought and then worrying about it later isn't.

Well I suppose if you're going to go picking fights after wine o'clock with random strangers at least get your facts straight. More than 2000 people did not die on the Titanic. Check your facts

There aren't 'facts' about who died on the Titanic because no-one's sure. It's estimated at around 1,500.

And that isn't the issue.

Totally agree, @Daylightsavingscrime. Don't poke the bear, or you are to blame when you get savaged.

Not much of an argument for NAMALT, is it?

OP you did right to report, but I'm with the posters who recommend you report this to the police.

This is typical male pattern aggression. A disproporionate response like this is not accceptable just because a woman had the temerity to challenge him. The PP who posted this comment needs their bumps felt (or, failing that, to spit out the little red pill).

Your unreasonable to expect reasonable behaviour on tiktok they don't give a shit about you. It's a toxic place to go on you are dealing with scum. I went on it and I couldn't believe my eyes of what I was seeing and hearing. Don't get involved delete your account and move on with your life.

His employer don't give a shit as well they probably all follow eachother and now they have your email. You're up against builders most probably.

They are probably his family you reported to. That's why I came off tiktok it's one big cesspit of shit.

Any quick scroll through Twitter or any social media will show the number of total nutters out there. So I’m interested in why you commented in the first place? Not sure what you hoped would happen as a result but I’m sure you didn’t expect him to apologise, pack up the slide and repent. The way he reacted was extreme and unacceptable, but again what are you hoping will happen by reporting him to his work. There is a good chance that he won’t lose his job, might get a warning, though probably not, and he may decide to come after you as he’s clearly aggressive and a bit unhinged. So yeah good for you standing up to him.

I agree with this- personally I would have just thought - "God, that's bad taste"and not commented, however you have every right to say you felt it was inappropriate. Just because I wouldn't doesn't mean that you shouldn't.

However, his response was so vile and aggressive that I definitely would have reported him, with to his employer and the police. You did the right thing.

THIS "....His responses back to your were abusive, threatening and misogynist. I would also report to police."

So you would encourage her to not challenge anything? Be it racism, sexism etc

Weird, you seem to be doing the same thing now, criticising someone on the internet.

Good on ya! I hope he’s fired.

You’re wrong. People with professional qualifications have to adhere to a code of conduct (which includes their behaviour in their personal time) so that they don’t bring the professional body into disrepute. They can be struck off the register for this kind of thing. Also many organisations have a social media code of conduct that employees have to adhere to, where breach can lead to disciplinary action.

Send them to his wife too if she is on there. I doubt very much she'd like his vile rape comment.

Definitely should have involved the police

Some of the posters on this thread want op to get more abuse.

If the op reports to the police it could look like she is harassing him. Going to his employer/family to complain and then going to the police. After he sent her the message he blocked her. He doesn't know who she is and now he will if she doesn't calm her arse down tiktok is not Mumsnet. They behave differently on that platform.

You're wrong, if a policy is clear (which I tend to find they usually are) and the employee does not behave in line with said policy, the employer can move to dismiss/discipline without repercussion or risk of losing at tribunal.
The fact is, it brings the company into disrepute, I for one would not want to share an office with an employee who believes rape threats are acceptable, whether they are via the internet or not. It shows lack of commercial awareness and decision making, concerning to think this man has children (I sincerely hope they are not male).

We don't at all but she herself may have opened up a can of worms.

OP how did he get your phone number to text you? Is it on Tik Tok.? I never put my number anywhere unless they ask for it and I can't proceed without putting it like banking etc.

No but I think many have had enough of this behaviour.

You cannot behave like this.

They are family anyone who goes on tiktok to promote themselves are more likely family who work together. They probably called the op a lunatic and had a good laugh about it.