I’ve reported this TikTok psycho to his employer?

[DolceGoldie]

I’m not sure if I should’ve done this and I’m having some regrets now. Last night, got into a bit of a spat on TikTok my first ever and I’m embarrassed.

Saw a video of a man building a “titanic” slide for his kids where he got them to slide and then pretend they were dying. Lots of comments, and in my wine and emotional (period) state I commented that it wasn’t really funny as over 2000 people died in the titanic including children. That was it.

Two hours later check my phone and he’s sent me a barrage of abuse, including saying I should shut my mouth, get my face to take a shit? And then he hopes I die in a fatal car crash and that I get raped and murdered and that I’ve made a “fatal mistake”. Truly vile in comparison to my comments about the titanic. He had blocked me so I couldn’t respond, not that I would’ve wanted to instigate it or bothered.

So I go onto his page to have a nosy, and he’s got his full pics and videos of him playing with kids, and videos of him working for his employer including a badge and their name- so in my fury I emailed his employer telling them that this kind of person is saying these things and representing their brand and that violence against women even suggestive isn’t on. I attached a screenshot of some of the comments.

Now I feel a bit stupid and nervous this morning as it was only a TikTok spat and I’ve escalated it, at the same time why do men get away with speaking to you like that? I didn’t have anything identifying in my email or TikTok to my name or location.

https://www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/har/harassment-on-social-media/#:~:text=If%20a%20person%20sends%20you,clear%20'course%20of%20conduct'.

You may not be in London or even in the UK but here is how the Met Police interpret things.

Can this guy find out where / who you are?

What the OP originally commented on is totally immaterial really. She made what sounds like a fairly anodyne comment about a TikTok video. The response was utterly disproportionate, offensive and criminal.

It's a bit like abusive car drivers, you've got to feel sorry for their wives

If he looses his job his children suffer , are you really happy with that ?

I think he’s the one triggered by the internet and would be better staying away.

Nothing is 'just the internet' any more

Seriously? That’s HIS responsibility, not hers.

I agree with this, 5 years ago it was maybe "just the Internet " but I do think these video platforms and "influencer" culture has addled peoples thinking !

Fuck Around Find Out

Whilst I agree his messages were totally unacceptable I'm not sure why you went to his employer not the police. Or what you expect his employer to do unless he is in a regulated profession. Expecting employers to police behaviour outside work is a slippery slope, where do you draw the line?

He's a vile piece of work and if he sent threatening messages you should report to the police. Reporting to his employer is a waste of time, they wouldn't be able to do anything 🤷‍♀️ he's a grown man, why would you think an employer would be allowed to discipline someone for what they do outside of work! His Titanic post wasn't great but not illegal and the company would need to prove their business had been damaged by it before taking action which they can't do. His messages to you aren't nice but you're not connected to the company in any way, there's no damage to their business in him sending you the message. If I'd received your email with a screenshot there's literally nothing I could legally do about it, employers can't police their employees out of work. It'd be filed in the deleted bin unfortunately 🤷‍♀️

My employer would be very interested in grounds of bringing the organisation into disrepute. It's quite a common thing.

He talked about hoping she got raped FFS

Imagine you own a plumbing business for example and this was one of your employees. Not a great idea letting him visit women at home on their own with attitudes like that?

There's no way he'd lose his job over this, employers can't discipline for behaviour outside the workplace except in very specific circumstances 🤷‍♀️

I do find your initial input pearl clutchy. Humans find humour in traumatic stuff as a coping mechanism, and anyway there are no Titanic survivors still living. If any humour is too spicy for you in future, maybe just move on?

He would have said similar - maybe better written and with dry wit - if he was a normal person who could be bothered to respond.

But no, his reaction was completely out of order and his messages to you make him sound unhinged and evil -I'd be horrified if my husband or a male friend or relative was sending messages like that to a woman.

Personally i don't agree with your comment, why did you even watch it? It's to watch something and then hunt the person down tp the extent you did. I wouldn't have contacted someone's place of work, you would know the implication of doing that even after wine.

I'd report him to the police, no hesitation. If that's how he reacts to a negative comment on TikTok you can only imagine what he's like behind closed doors.

Most employers have a social media policy these days. Publicly bringing a company into disrepute online is very often gross misconduct.

So fathers can't ever be pulled up for misdemeanours in case they lose their jobs?

You did the right thing. Well done.
Moving forward make sure that you change your tiktok name and ensure there is nothing personal on your account. If it's a big company he works for they may speak to him, a smaller one may not but make sure you're safe online.
Wtf is wrong with men. I really hate a lot of them esp when they go on about rape, sick fucks

But the poor man can’t understand the implication of sending vile messages to women? It was his choice to send that message, the consequences are on him.

If he was normal he could have just explained like I did on the previous page that the trend is about the movie and the way it was filmed, not the incident itself.

I’d think TikTok would ban him and delete his account if she reports him there though, which would also be good. The last thing the internet needs is more unhinged people.

I think the difference in suffering for the children between having a father who uses them in props for distasteful videos, then uses the implied threat of rape and murder to a woman who criticises him, versus the difference between having a father who does those things but is also in receipt of universal credit, is probably negligible in all honesty.

I did the same a year or two back with a guy on Twitter. He had a very public role and there were lots of photos of him being an ambassador type person.
He posted a photo about immigrants and commented about how we should put concrete blocks in their dinghies. Lots of utterly vile language. I simply screenshot it and sent it to his employer saying "is this the type of person you want to represent you?". I never did find out what happened, if anything ...

Valuable lesson in online infosec. Aka FAFO.