I’ve reported this TikTok psycho to his employer?

[DolceGoldie]

I’m not sure if I should’ve done this and I’m having some regrets now. Last night, got into a bit of a spat on TikTok my first ever and I’m embarrassed.

Saw a video of a man building a “titanic” slide for his kids where he got them to slide and then pretend they were dying. Lots of comments, and in my wine and emotional (period) state I commented that it wasn’t really funny as over 2000 people died in the titanic including children. That was it.

Two hours later check my phone and he’s sent me a barrage of abuse, including saying I should shut my mouth, get my face to take a shit? And then he hopes I die in a fatal car crash and that I get raped and murdered and that I’ve made a “fatal mistake”. Truly vile in comparison to my comments about the titanic. He had blocked me so I couldn’t respond, not that I would’ve wanted to instigate it or bothered.

So I go onto his page to have a nosy, and he’s got his full pics and videos of him playing with kids, and videos of him working for his employer including a badge and their name- so in my fury I emailed his employer telling them that this kind of person is saying these things and representing their brand and that violence against women even suggestive isn’t on. I attached a screenshot of some of the comments.

Now I feel a bit stupid and nervous this morning as it was only a TikTok spat and I’ve escalated it, at the same time why do men get away with speaking to you like that? I didn’t have anything identifying in my email or TikTok to my name or location.

Please don't second-guess yourself or feel stupid. You did the right thing. First post nails it - he is a disgrace.

It wasn't 2,000 people, it was 1,496 people.

YANBU to tell his employer though. What an awful person he is.

Violence against women doesn't just start out of nowhere. I wouldn't want the creep working in my team. You did the right thing.

What he said to you was absolutely vulgar so good on you for emailing his employer!
If he’s making stupid and offensive TikTok’s and also showing off his work uniform on his page then he’s representing the company he works for!

🙄🙄🙄

Fuck around and find out 😊

I’ve just finished listening to the podcast ‘So you’ve been publicly shamed’ by Jon Ronson. Maybe an interesting listen for anyone who uses social media a lot and definitely for anyone who gets into spats online.

A little spat would have been if you'd given your response and he'd told you to mind your own business and left it there.
His response was far from proportionate and actually abusive. I would have said its a criminal matter but I'm not sure the police would actually take any action other than telling you to block and ignore him
You have informed his employer and you will never know what, if any disciplinary action he will face but I would definitely leave it there.
I will say though, I'm a great believer in Karma

Now I feel a bit stupid and nervous this morning as it was only a TikTok spat and I’ve escalated it, at the same time why do men get away with speaking to you like that? I didn’t have anything identifying in my email or TikTok to my name or location

No, he escalated it from what could have been a minor dispute (maybe that could have become a productive discussion) to a serious issues. You did the right thing OP. Be careful because he sounds unhinged. Personally I would block and report, if he contacts you again make it very clear you see it as harassment and will take further action. Screenshot everything and document it. If he’s done this to you he probably does it to other people, so I wouldn’t worry too much about him knowing it’s you who contacted his employer. Try to not stress.

You could get a job as an undercover 'sting' that exposes vile men who don't deserve air

Wow how strong and brave you are.

I take my safety seriously.

Lets see how brave you are when you come face to face with a completely psycho like in the op.

You have done the right thing but for God's sake if you are going to engage on social media after a few wines, don't have your real name or other identifying features in your username.

I'm sure what he did was a crime as well, I watched a documentary with Emily Atack about online trolling and interviewed a man who went to prison for something similar

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001hs5v

WTF? I wonder if we'll be seeing '9/11' cakes in years to come? A whole new genre of desserts based on disasters that claimed thousands of lives.

You did the right thing.
This wasn’t a spat. It was a Billy Big Bollox type thinking his abuse being online saves him from the consequences of being a cunt. It shouldn’t.

If his employers are happy to be publicly associated with someone who goes out of their way to be this abusive to a stranger and wish death and rape on them, they should be named and shamed. If anyone in my company did this, their arse would not hit the door on the way out.

Oh, sorry, OP, I also meant to say I think that nutter deserves everything coming to him for the misogynistic abuse he sent you.

It’s not “vulgar to make light of a tragedy”.

Its how lots of people get through life, otherwise the misery of the planet and our society would eat us up.

Not your cup of tea, fine, but laughing at a funeral is the best way to grieve imo.

That being said, the moment he made those comments he deserved to be reported. He should have rolled his eyes and moved on.

@DolceGoldie
I agree that it was right to report him to his employer, since he is so public about who he works for, and would also report it to the police. The “fatal mistake” is an idiot blowhard thing to say, but it’s also a threat so he should feel the consequences of it.

One main reason for not making the sort of comment that you did is that it impacts your algorithm. As far as TikTok is concerned, as soon as you commented that means you interacted with that content which means you like it which means that TikTok is going to show you more of the same thing to keep you engaged. If you don’t like something, don’t interact with it or you will keep seeing it. And not only will it show you similar content, it will show you similar accounts. So in this case you could get more content pushed to you from aggressive loser men, which sounds like my idea of hell. Long press on the video and tap “Not Interested” when the white menu comes up. It vastly improves your online experience.

(a) Why were you watching videos on TikTok?

(b) Why would you expect anyone posting videos on TikTok to be anything other than an antisocial moron?

Apart from that, the most appropriate thing would be to report it to the police, but the chance of them giving the slightest shit is zero. I think I would do the same as you but it would depend on the employer. Many employers are likely just to give you the same abuse as the employee. I've reported employees of legal firms previously for conversations they were having on the phone in public places (included names and confidential details of clients) but they just ignored me.

And keep off social media: it is a massive sewer and is causing severe damage to what we still pretend is a society.

That you've made a "fatal mistake" is a threat. Hoping you get raped and you die in a car crash is vile, but adding the threat probably makes it a criminal offence.

It's amazing how some people behave when they think there are no consequences.

OMG! People like him have children? How horrendous! You did the right thing.

Think you just need to stay off the internet if you get so triggered by things (the titanic not the supposedly abusive messages after) ... how did you get back on the page to find out where he worked if he blocked you?

Think you just need to stay off the internet if you get so triggered by things (the titanic not the supposedly abusive messages after) ..
I think he needs to stay off the internet if he gets so triggered by someone dissing his Titanic idea.

Congrats OP. What kind of man brings rape into this? Absolutely disgusting.

And why are we talking about women who make rape threats and murder threats here…it’s like crime statistics don’t exist 🤯

Also, if it makes you feel better I’m pretty sure those TikToks aren’t making fun of the Titanic tragedy. I saw a TikTok just yesterday about the making of the film where they actually had actors jumping/falling off the set. I think people are just recreating it for fun.

I can’t get it to timestamp but the part at 3:31 is what I saw on TikTok with people laughing and reacting to it.