To want to ignore the school recommendation?

[MoreBadNews88]

School has recommended my DS repeating reception year.

He is v happy boy and his behaviour has transformed recently. He was put on ASD waiting list at 3 due to some pretty concerning behaviour at nursery

Lots of routine and a great primary school means we have turned a corner. No more hitting or destroying things.

But he just is very behind. He can't write anything with a pencil. He's 5. He scribbles or smears. He recognises letters, speaks well and is great with numbers and maths but I can 100% see he's unusual.

Anyway they are gently suggesting he stay back a year. I do understand. But this will affect him for rest of school. He'll always be oldest by months and he's tall for his age so towers over kids now. He will stand out like a sore thumb - I don't care but I worry he will as he gets older. And all his friends will move without him and he definitely understands enough to be upset by that

Anyone have same recommendation and go against it? Or have any advice? My instinct is saying no, but I know I need to listen to the experts

It could benefit him for the rest of school, though. And there's nothing stopping him going to high school at the same time as the others his age if that is what is right for him at that point.

I would be looking into getting an ehc plan and looking at specialist education .

repeating a year has implications as they get older and if he is likely to need extended sen input - look at specialist provision .

(autistic mother of 2 children with sen - both of whom were failed by mainstream education snd thrived in specialist after getting ehc plans)

Is there any scope for getting a second opinion?

Being the oldest is an advantage in a year group. You might find op that he repeats reception and thrives by making new friends and really comes on or it may be that dc needs a more specialised school to meet his needs. Assuming he doesn't have a very tight friendship group in his class I would do it or even consider if a different school might suit his needs better

Have they consulted the LA- even if an academy. They cant just decide to do this . It has implications.
He may have to go from Y5-Y7 or Y6-Y8. Being out of age for your entire schooling is not a given.
Educational outcomes for out of chronological age children are poor
It will slow his ASD diagnosis and any EHCP

Schools are usually very against retaking years, so I would see that as a sign. We have children in our family who have retaken years and it worked well for all of them (teenagers and adults now, some of them very tall). I would do what is best for him now. You don't want to ruin the rest of his school career by him feeling like a failure right from the start. Like others suggested, try to get an EHCP for him and see if he can get some occupational therapy to help with his motor skills.

When is his birthday? If he's towards the older end of his present classmates, then I'd hesitate. If he's one of the youngest ones, I'd consider it. But in general I'm uncomfortable about children moving up or down years. It's always going to create an issue a bit further on.

Much better to remain with his peers and have proper support. But of course proper support is unicorn-rare these days.

We have done this in the past and reviewed at Christmas with them then moving up. The child really benefitted.

Iv sadly seen too many kids pushed through reception and year 1 for kids to reach year 2 before parents finally admit their child needs a specialised placement. I'm not saying this is your dc though, I'm saying to be open minded.

Have you looked at dyspraxia? If he can read letters and start to blend and verbalise well he may coordination issues.

Speak to gp about an OT referral.
Mine found big chunky pencil useful. Finger grips for postitioning. Get him to practise writing letters in tray of sand with finger tip so he can practise. I started mine beginning to type - BBC has good free dance type mat. My asd child became obsessed but it has helped hugely later as he can type his work

Mine had weak fingers so playing with play doh built stength.

I've taught year 1. He sounds like he's made great progress but is far from ready for Year 1. We've had quite a few children stay in FS for another year and it's done them the world of good and meant they have a positive experience in Year 1. I would grab it with both hands and thank them for the opportunity. Year 1 quickly moves to formal sentence writing and high expectations. Children who aren't ready really struggle.

My youngest repeated his first year although it was us fighting for it rather than the school recommending it.
It was 100% the best decision. It gave him that little bit of extra time he needed. He then just stayed with that year group until he left school at 17. He didn't have to skip a year when he went to secondary like the school were claiming.
It was fine.

Where is he on the waiting list for ADHD diagnosis. Do you know about right to choose? Please look it up.

There’s a big step up in what’s required in year 1 compared to Reception, my DD is in year 1 and it’s been a big change which some of the class have struggled with. She’s tall and towers over her classmates which never seems to be a problem, as did I when I was at school. Including that in your decision making is just weird.

I also teach year 1 and totally agree with this. It has been massively beneficial for the child who have done this in our school.

If he's behind, then he's not ready and this will be the issue that has a knock-on effect.

They wouldn't suggest it unless they believed it necessary.

He won't stick out like a sore thumb.
If repeating the year and therefore being a year below his birth year means that his education is more secure and more suited to him, then you absolutely should let him.

I wanted my DS to repeat reception.

I get your concerns, but I think my DS would have benefited hugely. He constantly played catch-up, was always emotionally and behaviourally less mature than his classmates. He was about 2 years behind. Still is. He is 22, but his peers are off travelling the world or finishing uni, but the prospect of that level of independence is very scary to him.

But you want know until they are 19
Sadly the drop our rate without any GCSEs is very high for out of age pupils. They can leave school without ever taking Year 11.

Teachers have assessed your child within the school environment and have offered you the opportunity for your son to repeat reception taking a potential school place from another child. I would absolutely do it. There is a big jump from learning through play for Early Years (nursery and reception) and KS1 which will be a much more formal setting with more focus on writing.

Consider that if you keep him in his cohort he may fall even further behind and children become very aware of where they sit in the class in terms of ability. I have volunteered in a primary where we had children in year 4 who were working at year 2 level, they just do registration before being removed from the classroom to work with intervention staff so they are not with their classmates anyway. They are on an uphill climb just because they are remaining with their cohort.

Your child will benefit from another year of reception, routine, getting to grips with letter formation. Can he write letters in sand or shaving foam? Can he trace letters with his finger tip? He will make new friends and still see his current friends in the playground or outside of school.

Do you have a source for educational outcomes being poorer if out of chronological age please?

This is unusual in English state system unless for a summer born, which if he is already 5 he would not be. Does he have an ehcp? Is it an independent school perhaps?

I will definitely now start to look at an EHCP. The senco hasn't pushed this. But I will.

Thank you for comments. He isn't willing to try with a pencil for longer than a couple of seconds. He can recognise his own name and I attempt to do it in sand with him but he resists a lot.

At nursery he hit people, pushed things off tables, and so on. We have worked so hard and with the school and he now is able to follow instructions, he's kind to his peers, he tries at some things and he can sit for 5 mins or so.

I feel v proud of him and his progress so I went along to school meeting feeling positive and now feel deflated and worried for him.

@BoringBoris do you have a source for the "Educational outcomes for out of chronological age children are poor"? I am curious as my friend deferred her child but he is still in primary school so no where near year 10.

My niece repeated reception, it did her the world of good and she's on track to do exceedingly well at her GCSE's this summer. If the school are recommending it, it also gives you an extra year to work on getting him the proper support for when he goes into yr 1. I'd listen to the school, you can always ask for re-assessments of his progress throughout the year.

@LIZS he is just 5. No ehcp. State primary

They have suggested it v gently. I don't know if needs LA approval. They were v careful with their language. They did say they've done it successfully with other kids. I love his reception teacher. She is wonderful and has transformed him.