To want to ignore the school recommendation?

[MoreBadNews88]

School has recommended my DS repeating reception year.

He is v happy boy and his behaviour has transformed recently. He was put on ASD waiting list at 3 due to some pretty concerning behaviour at nursery

Lots of routine and a great primary school means we have turned a corner. No more hitting or destroying things.

But he just is very behind. He can't write anything with a pencil. He's 5. He scribbles or smears. He recognises letters, speaks well and is great with numbers and maths but I can 100% see he's unusual.

Anyway they are gently suggesting he stay back a year. I do understand. But this will affect him for rest of school. He'll always be oldest by months and he's tall for his age so towers over kids now. He will stand out like a sore thumb - I don't care but I worry he will as he gets older. And all his friends will move without him and he definitely understands enough to be upset by that

Anyone have same recommendation and go against it? Or have any advice? My instinct is saying no, but I know I need to listen to the experts

@Octavia64 I am able and willing to go private but school tell me better for him to go through school. They said they don't have to accept recommendations from private referrals.

I work in year one. There's a child in the class who cannot access the curriculum. He can't sit for more than five minutes and can't write, just like your DS. The children in EYFS are further ahead than he is. There's no one to one for him and nothing in place. No EHCP yet. He gets a box of cars and some fidget toys to play with for the day while we attempt to teach 29 children around him.

I really don't think year one is right for your child. I don't think they'll be able to adequately support him in year one because he's at such a different stage to all the others.

Keep him in reception. Fight for an ECHP. I would also firmly keep in mind as an option specialist schools too going forward.

You are considering private education? If so I would suggest spending some money on a private Ed psych report to identify any additional needs. If you can use an Ed psych who is also used by (recognised by) the LEA then that could significantly fast forward any special needs assessments. It sounds as if his teacher is a good fit for him, I would highly recommend staying with her if you are comfortable with that option as well as identifying any additional needs.

They don't have to accept NHS ones either and I've seen plenty of schools ignore them.

If you see an OT out of school then he/she can work with you and your child directly.

I'm not suggesting she writes a report, although that will be useful in the EHCP process. But if you see her once a week, say, and consider it as tutoring.

The fact that school said they don't have to accept private recommendations while true doesn't bode well for their attitude to supporting your son.

Are people recommending specialist education because his needs sound so great? I think because he is much happier and made such progress maybe I'm clouded about how behind he is

I agree with everything @Octavia64 is saying. I positively encourage parents to go private as they will get support much more quickly.

@Octavia64 it was the senco who said that. She seems v overworked and fed up.

I say the school is great but what I really mean I guess is his form teacher.

I'm recommending specialist input while remaining in mainstream as I've seen it make a difference to a lot of kids.

Autistic kids have some things that they find extra difficult that the mainstream school curriculum is good enough for NT kids but it's not enough for them.

So my suggestion would be that now is the time to get specialist input on things like fine motor skills which feed into handwriting. The fine motor skills are also useful for hand strength and general proprioception as well.
(This would be a private OT).

If you have had salt input then presumably that focused on social communication, in which case this is a good thing to continue and something like social stories might be useful at school as well.

No direct experience for my kids but my DD has a girl in her class who started in reception but should have gone into year 2 for her age group. She's Ukrainian so her English was limited when she started. Throughout year 1 she thrived and her English is now excellent. In year 2 and yes she's a bit taller than a few of the kids but you wouldn't pick her out and notice she's older. She's July born so although 2 schools older technically, she's not much more than a year than the older ones.

They don't have any plans to move her. She has adhd too and has thrived with the smaller class and I assume, routine.

If it was my child, I'd follow the advice I think

From how you have described your child I think he would find it incredibly difficult to access the year 1 curriculum. I am surprised the senco hasnt pushed for an EHCP if has that much need though.

@Rycbar he's not disruptive at all. He tries things and responsive to praise. He follows instructions and enjoys the routine. Maybe that's why? There are other kids whose needs are affecting rest of class or stopping learning. I don't know. I'll follow up urgently though.

What month was he born?

In one year group there is an age difference anyway, as some kids are born in September and they’re older than the ones born in august.
And so I wouldn’t worry that he’s one year older than his peers.

He is struggling to cope in the current year and so I do think it would be unfair to put him into a year group he’s definitely not ready for.

I would keep him back a year and see how he gets on.
After 6 months if there’s no improvement then I’d be pushing for an EHCP.

OP this is a super opportunity for your DS. If he can really cement what he needs to learn in reception he’ll have a much better run up through Y1 and Y2 to when school really gets serious. Having an extra EYFS year is a gift, even though it might not feel that way, and your DS will benefit from greater confidence and social skills.

Yes this could be why. As frustrating as it is the children who disrupt others learning are seen as a priority. I wouldn’t say no outright, they have suggested this for a reason and it could benefit him! I’m a Nursery/Reception teacher (mixed class) and I have children who deferred (admittedly not held back after they’d done Reception, they did another year in nursery) and it was so so beneficial for them.

Your main concern seems to be him fitting in and not being different but if you push ahead with year 1 and go against the advice that's exactly what will happen- sorry if that sounds brutal. He will likely be sat at a table separate from everyone else and given completely different work and 'stand out like a sore thumb' as you put it. If repeating reception is what's best for him according to the staff then please listen to them. I'm a former reception teacher.

FWIW I have a son in year 1 now who finds the work difficult and trust me it can be stressful!

My son sounds very similar to yours. We did keep him back. He’s really big for his age (wears clothes for kids 2 years older and always has)and that was pretty much my only concern. It has been absolutely fine, I don’t regret it. There’s a mix of sizes in his class, there’s a couple of kids similar height and some much smaller, and many in between, but honestly no one bats an eye. The most important thing is he’s fully supported and happy.

I know others who did the same and not one has regretted it.

Good luck with it all, whatever you decide.

My DS is in year 1. There's quite a lot of reading and writing both words and numbers. Him struggling could make his behaviour worse if he'll get frustrated

I think my husband is going to say no. I haven't told him yet as he didn't come to the meeting with me. He keeps saying I don't push enough and I'm limiting DS already.

Bluntly, does your DH know more than health and education professionals?

My dtds are youngest in the year and although it’s balanced out in about year 4, it affected their confidence to the point they still say “I’m not very clever” despite getting great grades at secondary. They can’t see they are no longer behind the rest of the class. Year one is a huge step from reception so if school says he’s not ready to move up, I’d keep him in reception now rather than have to either hold him back at a later point when he’s more aware or have to send him to a different school because he’s become too disruptive due to being so far behind. You have to do what’s right for your ds and that means not setting him up to fail.

My DS has ASD and really struggled with reception as there's just too much going on. Y1 has been so much better for him as it's quieter/easier to focus, he does have a 1/ 1 without whom he would struggle to concentrate but doing 2 years in reception wouldnt have helped at all as he needs the discipline of sitting and working.

I would be unhappy that the school want him to repeat but not pushing for an ehcp - this is what he needs, maybe repeating is right for your DS but without additional support i dont kmow what it will achieve

As a teacher I would recommend it. He may be slightly older than the others but confidence can be severely knocked by being so far behind. The jump between Reception and Year 1 is a big one. Depending on the school, they could be sitting at desks for most of the morning by around Christmas time. I honestly believe that our Year 1 classes should be more like Reception classes but they are not. I think he will make more progress in a Reception setting, especially if the school is encouraging it.

To give you an idea OP, in Y1 children are expected to correctly spell days of the week, punctuate sentences with a full stop, exclamation mark or question mark, write sentences with clauses joined by 'and', spell words with er, est, ing and ed suffixes... That's just a small selection of English objectives. It ramps up again in Y2 to things like recognising the tense of sentences and verbs, nouns and adjectives. It's really tough for even fairly middle of the road kids. I understand your concerns but think you need to find out more about what a KS1 classroom would look like for your child. What will they be doing if children are sitting quietly for 20 minutes on a piece of writing for example? Perhaps have a look at the curriculum for different subjects and see how you think your son would find it. You obviously want the best for him and it's a really tough decision. It sounds like you've landed on your feet with a supportive school so keep communicating ing with them.

When my son started school one of his friends was in the same position as your son and she repeated reception. Her mum says it's was the best thing that could have happened for her. It also meant the ehcp was sorted by the time she moved to year one which is a huge step change.

I would say seriously considered if his writing skills etc aren't where they need to be if year one is the right choice for next year as there is a big step change to being required to sit and write for a considerable portion of the day which could impact self esteem.

The other thing I would say is there is some inaccurate info regarding have to skip a year. The position now and government advice to schools is where a child is educated out of cohort that they remain with the adopted cohort throughout their school journey.

I would push for an EHCP AND agree to repeating. Honestly from the children I've seen, it's done them the world of good @MoreBadNews88 Don't see it as bad news if you can, try to see it as one of the tools/strategies to meet his needs.