To want to ignore the school recommendation?

[MoreBadNews88]

School has recommended my DS repeating reception year.

He is v happy boy and his behaviour has transformed recently. He was put on ASD waiting list at 3 due to some pretty concerning behaviour at nursery

Lots of routine and a great primary school means we have turned a corner. No more hitting or destroying things.

But he just is very behind. He can't write anything with a pencil. He's 5. He scribbles or smears. He recognises letters, speaks well and is great with numbers and maths but I can 100% see he's unusual.

Anyway they are gently suggesting he stay back a year. I do understand. But this will affect him for rest of school. He'll always be oldest by months and he's tall for his age so towers over kids now. He will stand out like a sore thumb - I don't care but I worry he will as he gets older. And all his friends will move without him and he definitely understands enough to be upset by that

Anyone have same recommendation and go against it? Or have any advice? My instinct is saying no, but I know I need to listen to the experts

As a veteran of this by now, I would say that the rough rule of thumb for autistic children, that they often function at around 2/3 chronological age socially, has been pretty accurate.

I realise that you aren't at the stage of a diagnosis yet, but you may well need to think flexibly about your son's education. At various points, we have seen our son through a part-time timetable, illegal lunchtime exclusions, a one-to-one TA, an unexpected secondary school, a complete withdrawal from an A-level course and a stop-start university career with a delayed start and repeated year.

Sympathies. It's tricky to navigate, because you can't judge what's reasonable by what the other kids that age are doing.

I would be very concerned about this.

The usual system is that children stay with their year group and if they need extra support then (in theory) the school goes through the EHCP process to access support.

I taught in secondary and we had a number of children with ASD and various other co-morbid conditions who if judged on cognitive ability would still be repeating reception aged 14.

It sounds like he has quite a spiky profile (so is very good at some stuff and significantly behind at others). If he also has emotional and social issues it's not necessarily the case that repeating reception will help with those although it may make the school's life easier.

You may find that if his existing friends move up to year 1 and he does not that his behaviour becomes quite significantly worse.

Does he have a diagnosis? If not I would start the process to get one.

Have you had OT input on the writing issue? It's not uncommon for autistic children.

At the end of the day he isn't going to grow out of his autism by doing another year in reception.

Y1 is a huge step up from YR

It’s an unusual approach by school and they would recommend it without good reason. Either you trust their advice and get him to repeat, or you don’t and should be looking for a new school.

Self selecting sample - the reason why they are educated out of age group is the reason they aren't reaching such a high level of attainment in Y11, as the vast majority until very recently would have SEND.

You have said the school is great so I would take their advice on things.

its a big jump from reception to year 1 and another year getting the basics in place could make a massive difference.

If he is autistic then repetition of teaching intended for neurotypical children isn't necessarily the best thing.

Many autistic children struggle with handwriting as it involves a lot of skills. If you can find a good OT I think they would be helpful.

You should also definitely start the EHCP process.

www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/motor-skills-1

@NeverDropYourMooncup thank you. I didn't know that they would educate out of cohort for SEND.

I would ask for an Ed psych assessment from school. Also discuss whether an EHCP is needed/ can other funding be applied for? Ask school about LA approval and if he may need to skip a year in the future. Its only mid March and he has 4 more months left. That's a lot of time for a 5 year old. Talk to school about if you don't repeat reception (which isn't common in the UK, being kept down pre-reception is more so), what will provision look like in year 1? If socially and emotionally he is ready for year 1, I think I would be refusing to repeat.

Hey OP I’m just a regular mum who does lots of extra work outside school with my kids and because of this they are both top performers. With my oldest (year 3) I can just kind of set year 5 work and she’ll get on.

I really really can’t do that with my kid in reception. They really aren’t kidding about that jump mate! I’ve had a look at the curriculum, had a look at my kid (who was the same size as the year 1s in nursery) and thought no friggin way! It’s not how much they want to do it or how much we love and support them, it’s the skills that can only come with emotional maturity. She’s a top reader and a maths whizz…. She cannot yet sit and think of ideas, keep them in her head and write them down in sentences with proper punctuation. What happens when every other word is a red word and he’s still struggling with blending sounds?

I have an idea of what you’re going through. My oldest started as a nervous wetter and was still on the “Biff, Chip and Kipper” stuff in Y1 with her teachers telling me if she didn’t improve soon she would never catch up all the way through her school career. The way I turned it around was giving the poor thing some easy educational wins and developing those other skills I talked about earlier. Taking her for what she was, rather than what I hoped. I really really think you should consider this for your kid mate, I would have loved for my eldest not to have had such a uphill daily fight that really knocked her confidence. We only started loving school in December, best wishes.

I guess I'm trying to work out if he should stay back the year or if I should actually be fighting for an EHCP and 121 support to in place for September and keep him in his year group. Extra support is v hard to get so worry school is going for easier option in a way.

want to make sure I've read understood it and done my research.

I do take all the comments though about listening to the school.

You should be pushing and fighting for the EHCP. Please listen to professionals on this thread who have taught Year 1. It's a massive step up. An extra year in FS will help him build on his successes and it sounds like another year with a great teacher.

The chances of an ehcp being in place before September when it hasn’t been applied for are very slim. The chances of that coming with properly specified 1-1 is even slimmer.

that’s not to say you shouldn’t be looking to apply irrespective of that but the timescales aren’t in your favour for September and even with an ehcp that won’t tackle all the challenges that come with the jump from R to y1

made referral for OT through school. Did consider going private but they encouraged me to do it through school. On waiting list for that. Could be another couple of years on ASD list and again school put me off going private. School also told me to do adhd referral with their support and involvement but this has just been rejected by NHS due to his age. We have had support from Mind through school too and found them hugely helpful. He's had SALT too. He'd had a lot in a few years. But apparently ECHP isn't realistic

I would be very hesitant about repeating a child born before April. They will be restarting reception with children as young as just turned four, at five and a half. I achieved practically nothing in reception myself and caught up by year two. Being a year older in secondary would have made it even more difficult than it was.

Thank you for all the advice about year one. I think a year one teacher mentioned proper sentence structure which feels like another world right now!

EHCPs rarely offer funding for full-time 1-1s now.

What is their proposal for if/when he catches up? Obviously you have to consider this and what affect it would have on him emotionally, changing friendship groups etc.

Also, what would happen about high school, would he go up a year late if he hasn’t caught up or would be leave primary at the end of year 5 - I would be very concerned about this, it might seem a long time in the future but it is definitely something to consider.

Do any other children in the school have a 1-2-1, might help you gauge whether this is school avoiding this.

Ask for an opinion from schools educational psychologist

Do a parent request for an EHCNA, you don't need to wait for school to do it.

Don't just think of now. Think if him when he is older and has to start secondary and beyond. Where I live you can choose to start them at 4 or 5. We started ds at 5 and I'm so glad we did. He is 16 now and the extra year helps him so much in handling secondary school. He is fabulous academically but socially immature. He has asd too.

I wonder if they would consider moving him with his peers, but then givjng him time to access play based provision in reception e.g. in the afternoon? I am a receptionist teacher and have had a child do that before. I agree with you that the hit to his self esteem and the loss of peers could negatively affect him. Also, reception at the start of the year is chaos. If he is used to the calm and orderly flow of reception at this time of year, he could be really put off by all the learning to be in a classroom that needs to happen for the new intake. I would discuss it further with them and try to find out exactly how they would manage this.

You've said his reception teacher has brought the best out of him so I would jump at the chance for him to stay with her for longer. Year 1 is a totally different curriculum and I'm afraid he doesn't sound ready, he's had nearly two terms in reception. Maybe request that he is assessed termly so if he catches up he can move mid year. Best of luck to you and your boy

I have two autistic children, one very academically able, one who is non verbal and currently in Y1.

My younger started with a usual nursery cohort and his EHCP was in place for Reception. However, had it not been, school had offered to keep him in nursery for an additional year and I was very grateful.

we should have high expectations for our disabled children, but we need to be realistic.

My son is 6. I’m currently celebrating that he picks up his shoes when I say ‘get your shoes’.

Learn who your son is and what he needs and ignore what his peers are doing.

I would be concerned that school are telling you an EHCP is not realistic.

Schools have to fund the first 6000 pounds of provision so it is not unknown for them to discourage parents from applying for EHCPs

It can be a nightmare when the kid then gets up to secondary and doesn't have any paperwork. Depending on how disruptive the kid is the SENCO at my school is always kicking off several emergency EHCP applications for new year 7s in September and there are several primary schools who when she hears their name she swears.

Regardless of whether he repeats reception or not he needs an EHCP, personally if you can afford it I'd be going private for OT, Salt and anything else I could afford as these services are cut to the bone at the moment.

I would also be prepared to bet you that the school are suggesting he stays in reception because they know he won't cope with the requirements in year 1 and don't want to afford putting a TA in there to help him and stop him kicking off.