Grey area of group holiday finances

[Lalalalala555]

Hey.
Looking to see what is considered 'fair' from external perspective.

Ive gota holiday cottage booked for three nights. Fr Sa Su.
Invited friends (two couples).
It sleeps 6.
So theres me and my partner, and then two other couples invited.

We posted in a group chat saying how much it would be each if they wanted to come.
We have done it so that its a set amount, as the cost of the cottage is fixed as booked already and non refundable.

We said it would be 110 each for them.
For my partner and i we decided we would pay a bit more (124).

After posting in the group, one of the other couples want to pay less as they dont want to stay the third night.
They want to pay 2/3 of the cost of 1/6 of the total (if that makes sense).

Its tricky for what is fair. As if they pay 80 instead each, then it means its 200+ each for my partner and I.

Its this wanting to pay for how much someone will be present at the property vs there is already a fixed cost.

Obviously it benefits them to pay less. And us if they pay more.

I don't feel its entirely fair that we would have to pay 3* the amount they pay, for choosing to stay an extra night.
They also will benefit from not having to check out at 10am on the Sunday, which would be the case should the cottage have been booked fri and sat only.

There was no clear consultation in making the booking, we did it after having had a few casual chats about the weekend but not with group consensus. As we are attending an event and the local accommodation had sold out. This one place came up months after so we just booked it.
Hence why we offered it for being cheaper for them.
We didnt know how long they would stay, but they had the option to decide what works best.

Thanks!

I agree with you.
It is a bit of a nightmare.

The people are family to my OH.

But then i dont know if you meant that more in the way that I am the problem.
:s

What would you do?
Bearing in mind cant go back in time and change what has already happened.
How would you move forwards?

I wouldn't worry at all about 'moving forwards'.

They chose this. They tried to get you to even more heavily subsidise their weekend away unfairly, and then stropped and threw their toys out of the pram when you wouldn't. That's on them, not you.

Frankly, I'd be kind of hoping that both couples would now pull out so you can invite some decent friends to join you and enjoy your weekend with people who are selfish and rude.

If the pay less then they piss of at 10 am on their last day and leave their room clean.

I was in a similar situation where I was invited to a group booking family holiday and was told a set price for a room for me and my partner. I agreed this price however I then found out that the entire group was bringing their children and that the children were going free!! So this was a big big cottage that slept 30 and some couples had 3 children each, it worked out there was 5 rooms that the children would have in total. I was not taking any children with me therefore I then politely declined (it caused a few arguments as I had said yes before knowing this) and I did feel really annoyed and that they were trying to take advantage of me

this is a bit different and I can see their point but also why should you have to foot the bill.

Thanks i found your reply.
It sounds great for you that you have a friendship group youre happy in.
And that you rarely come up against moral dilemmas. That's nice. More peace is nice.

Unfortunately in my case. I have been having a moral dilemma about what is and isn't fair.
Im glad that the people in the friend group can speak up.
And I want to make sure that what I'm suggesting is fair. And hence using mum's net for advice and testing the morals of what I'm thinking.
Fair enough if you dont choose to do the same for yourself.
If you find these situations easier as well that's great.

Hey. Thanks for taking time to reply.
There arent children coming on this trip.

Just wondered which bit you think is unjust / can see their view?
Thanks :)

I just want it to work out so that everyone is happy and everything is fair.
Hopefully it will.
:)

It reads as though you have booked this and then offered the idea "who wants to come along". I wouldn't do this again no idea what's best going forward!

OP the couple have said they aren’t going, I’d leave it at that.

Originally it was no children. This was close family btw, they discussed babysitters etc without me (as I didn’t need a babysitter for mine) they then decided they would all bring the children instead to save the hassle of organising childcare, some of the children were grown up as well ages varied from 2-21 but even the grown children the organisers decided wouldn’t be paying and they just gave me a price, once I found out all the kids were going I just declined. I was livid though

they probably didn’t think anything of it as every single one of them had kids and even the ones with grown kids then said oh well my grown kids can come if we are splitting the cost

I would go back to them all and say you have given the situation some thought and there has obviously ben some miscommunications. In hindsight you would have all been better booking into a hotel so everyone pays fairly for the nights they are able to come. The current costings are not fair and you can't sublet the room out to someone else for the 1 night it isn't being used. Explain you don't want to create any ill feeling but think it best we cancel the holiday. Then hopefully you can find some friends to fill the empty rooms and have a holiday with them. ALternativel suck up the whole cost and have a lot of space justt he two of you! On principle I would not be subsidising others holidays. I had a similar experience several years ago with a group of women all wanting to arrange a group 3 nights away for milestone birthdays. Slowly but surely we get messages of, sorry can't commit to all 3 nights, I'll just grab some floor space (and not pay). Or I can come for 2 nights so will pay for just 2 , expecting others to subsidise them. When I suggested a hotel where people could pay for the nights they wanted/needed, that didn't go down well with the freeloaders. I just wished them all a great holiday together, but the terms didn't really work for me as it wasn't fair so wouldn't join them. Low and behold the trip never happened.
Cam't stand tight freeloader people.

I wish life was that simple.

Its relatives of my OH that are involved.
In this instance, its not the same as inviting my own direct friends.

Exactly they thought nothing of it though and just assumed I would be ok with me paying for all the kids as well

mine physically couldn’t come due to the dates and them already being away with their dad

If you end up paying way more than everyone else make it very clear you get the best room!

I would divide the total price by numbers of nights - in total there are 14 sleeps (6 people for 2 nights then 2 people for 1 night). £688/14 is just under £50 each per night. So your offer of £100 is completely fair

I don't get the Maths logic on this. Surely its 6 people x 3 nights so £42 per share ?