To think change is desperately needed in schools?

[GibberingPeck]

I work with young children. Today I was hit twice and scratched on the face so hard it drew blood. This has not happened to me before and I’ve worked in schools for many years. I was trying to stop a child hurting another child. The school’s stance seems to be that I shouldn’t have intervened or somehow dealt with the situation badly. I think they saw I was bleeding, but ignored it as they have so much to deal with. This year, I think I’ve seen more violent and aggressive behaviour from children than I’ve ever seen. And no way of dealing with it - it seems to have become acceptable or ‘the norm’.

Well here you go

Covid generation facing development ‘time bomb’

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/295e71b9-7967-47fd-bca2-678ba750b888?shareToken=1f225864a6af85ece17b67cb3515b45b

Also if you ask people who have been teaching a long time they will say the cirriculum is much more pressured at an early age now.

This is also true.

Nailed it. Almost every day there seems to be something else being pressed on school staff that used to be expected of parents...

And you probably came home and played outside with friends or family. Spent time talking to family because you had to be together - no separate screens for everyone to retreat to. A few more imagination and cooperation skills needed. Maybe one parent at home a bit more. Or grandparents involved in childcare. Perhaps a bit more community involvement too...
I could go on, but you get the idea! I wonder the impact of losing many of these things.

This was happening before covid though.

I'll agree it's got worse but it was deteriorating long before covid.

I think Covid is going to be conveniently used as an excuse for the next few years

It’s interesting this is a private school. I work in a primary school in an area which has seen rapid gentrification, but the behaviour issues we see coming through the younger years now are like nothing we’ve ever had before.

Previously we had parents who maybe had low academic expectations and that could be an issue, but we did not have the numbers of children who won’t stay in class, are violent, can’t/won’t sit still or follow instructions. It’s crazy!

I’m not saying these issues only affect middle class kids, but I do think it’s new that large numbers of MC kids are presenting with severe behaviour problems.

I agree with those who say screens are a huge factor. If I'm in a waiting room without WiFi and I don't have anything to read, I get bored so much faster than I used to. I used to be perfectly happy to just sit with my own thoughts. And I'm a grown woman. If I'd grown up with easy access to iPads and phones, able to watch virtually any video or listen to any song I wanted almost immediately, I know it would have affected my development.

My ASD child hit me - for weeks I tried everything, time out telling off etc. My HV spoke to a child psychologist who advised me to ignore the hitting. I asked how that would work - he needed to know hitting was wrong. She asked how many times I had told him hitting was wrong - I said countless - she said exactly! He knows! So I followed the advice and initially he hit harder but I did not react - within a day he’d stopped. Never did it again either.

It's screens. The current type of fast paced, flashing images, and the intense, isolating nature of the small screen held close to the face.

We watched a shit load of TV in the 80s, but a) watching a 23 minute cartoon with some semblance of a storyline and a moral, whilst sat on the sofa bickering with your siblings isn't the same as locking yourself into endless 1-3 minute, inane YouTube shorts of people yelling, and b) a "shit load" in the 80s was 2 hours, not 6-8(+) hours.

As a parent and a teacher I think a massive part of this is to do with the cost of living.
I had to choose between going back to work full time when my kids reached 9 months, or taking a financial hit to stay at home / go part time. I’ve been teaching part time for the last 3 years and the time has been lovely but has been a balance of being exhausted on my working days and too broke to do much on my days off.

I went to gymnastics, ballet, swimming and dance class as a child - All in the local community halls or schools. This all exists for kids but gymnastics near us is £30 direct debit. Swimming is £54 per 30 min session etc. It’s all so unaffordable! There are no low price playgroups or social things it’s all overpriced soft plays.

Mine were both small during Covid so parks and being outside was limited - we still haven’t had all our swings reinstated!

I’ve now gone back to work full time, so affordability is a bit better, but now they are out of the house 7.30 - 4.30 and all of us are shattered. I’m still marking/planning for tomorrow and they are watching tv before bed.

It’s a world away from having a stay at home parent, friends/ aunties that live in the street and the safety to play out. Local/affordable groups and clubs.
My colleague made a comment about kids nowadays not being able to ride bikes and it’s given me a pile of guilt that I haven’t taken mine out on bike since last summer and they weren’t riding properly then so will probably have gone back a few steps!

I also think screens are to blame. The kids have nothing to talk about other than videos on apps. They all know each others need because of group chats on WhatsApp and Snapchat. They don’t actually have to ask each other how their weekend was because it’s all there on social media.

People are too lazy to parent their kids.

They provide their child with a phone instead of a parent. If you are too lazy to teach your child to read, use a toilet, eat properly, speak, follow a two-part instruction, there is no need to worry, the school will do your parenting for you.

The sad thing is, these parents are not even embarrassed.

I came from a very dysfunctional home but played outside non stop. Surrounded by kids younger/older etc. Familiar adult neighbours would correct and get involved when needed. This wasn't even that long ago tbh and there are still lots of places like this. I think it's what made an insane difference to my development. We had screens etc and funnily enough there was a girl on my estate who we thought of as richer. She was always on her computer and wasn't allowed out with the likes of us. She had 2 parents who would ferry her off to clubs. Mind you I was the only one with 1 parents weirdly, but I was always so jealous of her. She ended up fine but so did I! I did well at school etc as did all my siblings, so I do think community loss and reliance on screens is a big big reason for this issue.

This I'm afraid. SENCO in a PRU here. They all come to us aged 14 or 15, no diagnosis after more than ten years of school but with such clear SEN it's outrageous. Then we can't get them diagnosed before their GCSEs so many of them leave with bugger all.

@Wavingnotdrown1ng you are right about loss of 'soft/social ' skills like turn taking - but part of that is the enormous loss of free play from kids lives.

It is with their peers/ children of all ages that children - for thousands of years! - learnt the skill of actually being a human being, learning how to consider others thoughts, take turns, negotiate - this is what play is for.

We have filled children's days with either screens or organised learning / activities.

Absolutely spot on. All of which is sadly gone now.

My DS is in an extremely disruptive class. Even if I hadn't met the parents of the 5 kids in his class that cause the chaos, I guarantee you I could pick them out in the playground. The problem is parenting and I'm guessing there are many societal and cultural things that have contributed to that over the years.

I asked my Y4 class today what they like to do at home that doesn’t involve a screen. 5 or 6 couldn’t answer.

at uni age have you checked it’s no roid rage? Bodybuilding drugs are depressingly more common.

No this starts and ends with parents, not the state.
Stop making excuses for no parent families where children are allowed to do what they want for fear of a "meltdown". Discipline and respect for others starts at home

@GoodnightAdeline

I think that it's not just babies & toddlers watching too much TV but parents stuck on phones & basically ignoring their kids. They see engaging with their little ones as hard work.

I don't understand the explosion of ADHD & ASD. There are loads of children being diagnosed. I'm sure there were always kids with learning difficulties - but the lack of concentration and resilience to do tasks that require some perseverance is concerning.

You never heard of children in reception class still being in nappies until fairly recent years. Obviously some children have SEN. But years ago it was unheard of - I think most children were potty trained at around 2 when I was little. Probably having to wash nappies was an incentive.

I think it's part screens and part aftermath of Covid lockdowns and shitty parenting. A teacher friend had a seven-year-old throw his chair at her recently. When we were in school that would have been unthinkable. Now the teacher is probably the one in trouble for not managing the poppet's feelings or something.
My own nephews (7 and 8) were given very basic, supervised phones for Christmas. YouTube etc turned two bright little boys into bratty zombies. The phones are only allowed for an hour now and taken away for an extra day if there is a fuss over getting off them. God knows what they do to the brain of an infant propped up in a buggy watching hour after hour of colourful noise.

I agree that screens make sense with the timeline. And as a couple of other people have pointed out it’s not just that children spend more time on a screen, it’s that parents aren’t emotionally present, being responsive and interacting for much of the time they are with their child because they are glued to their own screen. So much early development that underlies language and social skills comes from a parent watching what their child is paying attention to and engaging with it, turn taking games and singing songs. Watching a song on youtube doesn’t teach the important bits, it probably teaches something harmful instead - instead of interaction and sharing you have complete control and instant gratification in an isolated bubble.

I agree with this. It's one of many factors though.

House prices are one factor - it's seen as undesirable today to be a sahm (see all the threads about 'you need your own financial independence). With both parents working, children don't have the full attention of a parent for much of the day.

SEN needs are not adequately catered for. It's fine to try and integrate all children in one system, but it's not working because of the lack of resources.

Parents (some, not all obviously), do not discipline their children adequately. (See all the threads about 'my three year old hits / scratches me). I'm elderly now, but if one of my toddlers had hit me, the result would have been a smacked bottom. That's another thing that's hugely frowned upon now, but it may change in the future.

The world is arguably more dangerous today. Children can't play out on their own, partly because of parents' fears of predators, and partly because of the sheer volume of traffic. (Again, house prices mean that 2 salaries are needed, which often means two cars per household).

Children very rarely sort out their own disputes - they are always with an adult who intervenes, and this leads to a diminishing sense of independence.

I think we are close to tipping point with schools. Teachers are leaving in droves.