Four children 1-14 years sharing room

[Parques]

AIBU to think it's ridiculous and irresponsible that 4 children (same sex - male) aged from 1-14 are sharing a bedroom? There is a fifth child - a girl - who has her own room. There are no funds to extend/loft conversion etc. The children were all planned. No multiple births.

I would have absolutely hated that. Imagine being 15, having your friends round and you share a room with your 3 siblings including a baby. I would never have invited anyone back to my house.

I think it's really selfish and irresponsible to have 5 kids in these times, let alone to have 4 of them sharing one room.

It's probably the reality for a lot of families. In the school I work in, we have a fair few large families who are living in flats, or small 2/3 bed houses, so it stands to reason that chances are there will be 3/4 kids sharing a bedroom in those families.

Ideal? No.

A bit shit for the kids, especially the older ones? Possibly (depends on ages, personalities, overall family dynamics, to be fair).

Likely to impact on DC's achievement at school and overall life chances, given lack of space and family resources v number of children the space/family resources needs to be shared between? Yes, almost certainly.

It's not a lifestyle I would willingly choose for my family but it's what many many people end up with.

I am genuinely surprised by some of the comments.
It just sounds like a perfectly normal family set up to me.

The girl obviously needs the separate room, so it seems that there's no other option.

If they hadn't be born they wouldn't know the difference! My DS is an only child and couldn't care less about having siblings, as am I.

It really isn't though. I'm working class, grew up poor and it wasn't normal even in those circles. 2 siblings sharing a room, yes. But 4? No.

The 18 month old could probably share with the parents at the moment, but there are still going to be problems in the future.

Some of the rich send their young kids off to be raised by strangers for the majority of the school year, where they bunk with peers who are strangers to them, so it'd be a bit bloody rich to panic over kids sharing with siblings.

And that is grim as well. Why do you think people don't judge that? They definitely do.

I would have wished for another sibling if my youngest wasn't born.

Do loads of parents do this? I grew up in a similar living situation, with my four brothers all sharing one room, and the idea of my mum giving up her own room seems laughable, there's just no way she would ever even consider it.

I mean you’ve really escalated here from a 14 year old not having a place to do homework to suddenly his siblings should never have been born and social services now need to be contacted because he has to share a room.

Yes, that is exactly what I said. 🙄

Many other only children wish for siblings. I have siblings and would have been delighted with more.

I highly doubt many children wish for siblings to the extent of sharing a room with 3 of them. Rose tinted glasses springs to mind.

Well, quite.

I was utterly miserable as an only child and it's only become worse during an adulthood in which everyone including the cat's mother seems to have siblings whom they are close to.

I consider my children as a gift to each other in an increasingly harsh, cold, materialistic and individualistic society.

Who on earth has a couple of unexpected pregnancies? Even if the first is unexpected, the next one bloody well shouldn’t be. It’s not rocket science how it happens.

I agree and think it’s irresponsible. The poo 14 year old in particular not having any space or privacy and having to worry about a 1 year.

Yes that's unfair and irresponsible

@NotCute lots of us wanted siblings, or more siblings. Did on ever want 4 of them, and to have no choice (emphasis on the no choice) share a bedroom with 3 of them?

Point being, you can have siblings, without living in overcrowding. The two don't have to go hand In hand.

I grew up in a house with 8 bathrooms, a tv room, 3 living rooms, 7 bedrooms (grandparents never got on and had separate bedrooms) but still shared with my sister until university..one room was my parent's study, one spare room was a toy room, another room was a guest room. My mum who shared a bed with 6 siblings didn't see it as strange nor did my father who shared a room with his brother until he married. They thought it was important i learn to share and it served me quite well cos i coped fine with sharing a 3 bed London terraced with dh's 3 sisters, his mum and dh after i graduated from university which is what enabled us to start our careers and buy our London flat without my dad having to buy our house for us.

It was a big room though and we had desks and wardrobes. When I came to the UK to study, I hated having my own room.. I think privacy is a very western concept perhaps borne out of post war prosperity. In my home country we became prosperous roughly in the 1980s so our parents still have memories of far more cramped living conditions and don't see anything wrong with it.

The uk is getting poorer though so i am not sure hanging onto these expectations from more prosperous times is so practical unless we completely change our system. I even saw a rightmove ad where someone who got bought her own london flat in Bloomsbury actually lived in it all the way until she had two children sharing the tiny room in bunk beds. If the rich have to do that, what do we expect the poor to do.

In any city or semi desirable town post 2030, I expect the poor to live in one room, the middle income (two civil servants or two teachers) to rent two bed flats, bankers and software developers (without family money) to own 2 bed flats or two bed terraces in less desirable towns or up north (for those who can work remotely) and for the truly desirable housing (victorian terraces in London/SE and semis with 3-4 bedrooms) to be for the hedge fund managers, traders or those with family money. As the old die off their inheritance would be consumed in end of life costs and care home fees so eventually the equity in their homes will be whittled down and then further split between the descendants.

I have only known one family where four children shared a bedroom. That is absolutely not the norm tound here.

and was the norm until fairly recently

Lots of things were the norm until recently. It doesn't always mean it was a good thing. It's called progress.

It's called family. When you go on holiday, everyone shares anyway they can. What is the difference how people do it the rest of the year, given it is their own folk and not random strangers

I was desperate to have siblings. However, we lived in a one-bedroom flat (which my parents owned).

My friends in the same block had siblings and suffered during childhood. In most cases, only two children shared a bedroom with their parents. However, there were was one family with 3 children and 3 adults and one couple with 5 children.

ETA Yes, I'd love to have siblings but I can see where the difficulties would lie.

I always had a desk in my bedroom growing up and so did DB

2 of my dc also had desks

And on the flip side, many people can't stand their siblings.