Four children 1-14 years sharing room

[Parques]

AIBU to think it's ridiculous and irresponsible that 4 children (same sex - male) aged from 1-14 are sharing a bedroom? There is a fifth child - a girl - who has her own room. There are no funds to extend/loft conversion etc. The children were all planned. No multiple births.

The 14 year old in this scenario might absolutely adore his baby brother and doesn't find him being in a cot in the bedroom an issue

I very much doubt a 14 year old boy enjoys sharing a room with a baby.

Personally I think it's complete shit for them.

You can talk around in circles all you like virtue signaling but it still stands that your alternative solution was for the younger kids not to have a life at all.

the reality is it’s up to each set of parents what way to raise their kids and it’s nobody else’s business

Personally I think the baby and possibly even any toddler should be in with the parents but as long as none of them are waking each other up and getting to bed at the correct time I don't see the problem

My exDH shared a room with 2 brothers and they all spoke fondly of it. The parents did swap to give the boys the larger room as they got older.

It is ridiculous and irresponsible, yes. People should have the family they can afford. These people clearly cannot afford five children so they shouldn't have had them.

It's not necessarily the space but the quiet that is needed.

I had a tiny bedroom growing up and no desk, but it was my space. I could decorate it how I wanted, put up posters of The Smiths and The Cure, day dream, study, read....

I appreciate many children have to share, but I wouldn't be planning 5 children if 4 of them had to share one room.

I don't think it's fine at all and I think posters who are saying it is are deluded. I bet the kids don't like it.

Adults need to put their kids needs first instead of their own wants.

Who is this family to you ?

Are they friends /family or are you the 14yr

So yes 5 children in a 3 bed house isn't ideal with 4 in one room - 1 - 14

But baby could go in with parents

The next youngest could go in with the 5yr girl

So then be the oldest 2 in a room sharing

Yes it's selfish of parents to have the 5th \toddler if all planned as not enough room For the previous 4

If this kids aren't happy, you can just calm them nasty right, and shut down the conversation? I hated it. This is 2024, not whatever year you grew up. Most kids aren't living like this, and it's not fair to a 14 year old to have to share with three younger kids.

@MamaSnaill that works well in an urban area. When my dc were at secondary we lived in a village where the school was 6 miles away. The only option if you stayed after school for clubs or to study was to be picked up by a parent. That was fine in our case as I worked flexibly but not not option for lots of children.

You could have a room all to yourself and noisy next door neighbours interrupting your sleep and study if your parents can’t afford a detached house

Kids grow up in a home that they are born into rough or smooth

if they are loved clean warm and fed they don’t need quiet rooms all the time. They only need an hour a day to do homework and the parents are quite capable of organising a structured day
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Are you going to tell us the ages of the other children, or just judge?

@Comedycook not all 14 year olds are some same. Some actually - shock horror - like their siblings.
@EmmaGrundyForPM not everyone needs quiet to study. As I said upthread - I couldn't do my homework if the environment was to quiet.

Loved, clean, warm and fed is the basics and I don't think that we should only aspire to that and nothing else for our kids.

I grew up in a difficult environment and yes I coped and don't moan about it but actually as an adult I carry resentment for my parents and I wouldn't want to bring my DC up in an environment where he felt like he had to "cope" with shit situations if I could avoid it.

So many judgemental pps on this thread, not least the OP!

Personally I wouldn't have chosen to have so many children but who knows the actual situation of this family? Perhaps the last child was an accident? Many people have more children than they can realistically afford.

I mean, what 14 year old doesn't want to live in a situation that qualifies as statutory overcrowding? It's all lovely and whimsical.

And if the children don't like it - tough. Stop judging the parents, their feelings really matter here (even though they could just move on of the younger boys in with their sister)

Why do the kids have to “like it”?

kids don’t like plenty of things: semis with noisy neighbours, remote country homes, multi storey flats with noisy neighbours, old houses that aren’t fashionable or have repair needs, properties they can’t have a pet in, big lonely houses. Some kids live in rented properties and have to move frequently because of landlords or due to work

I could go on and on. Children live where they live and with whoever is in their family.
all those virtue signalling better hope their kids don’t have a few pissed off days at their own housing choices

Well, yeah. I actually don't think grown adults should get to swan through life without anyone daring to question their choices but there you go. People can't handle the truth these days.

Anyone read the book The Giver?
One of those dystopian novels about a seemingly ordered and perfect society.
Couples (only male and female of course) are only allowed to have 2 children.
1 girl and 1 boy.
Sounds like quite a few on this thread would like that 😂

Yeah, who cares about trying to make your kids lives as comfortable as they can be. Just do whatever you want. Selfish adult attitudes.

Yes many like their siblings. This 14 year old boy may well like his baby brother, probably loves him to bits...but as a parent of a teenage boy, I can assure you he would rather have his own room.

@Beezknees so it's selfish to have children if you live in a private rented flat on the second floor of a block?

No. Just a bit of common sense and realising that 4 kids sharing a room is a bit grim.

I just meant quiet. So if the older children have homework or study to do in the bedroom, then the younger children are playing in the sitting room or outside. Or older children at the table, younger ones playing in the bedroom. If a parent would not facilitate a quiet space then that would be a problem for a teenager studying GCSEs.

How is that in any way the same thing?