To think it’s very hard to live in the uk without inheritance or family money?

[Lifesucksthenyoudie]

Just that really. Social mobility seems almost impossible at the moment without a head start. I earn a decent salary (Dh doesn’t but that’s another post) but my standard of living is so much worse than my parents and my mother didn’t work until we were in secondary school and even then part time for peanuts. Nursery fees and mortgage alone wipe us out. I haven’t inherited any money (large family, no chance) and feel a bit stuck. Not after sympathy just interested to see if others feel a bit trapped. Why is our society geared up this way?

I don't find it hard and I have neither of those things.

I think it depends on your lifestyle surely. I have no childcare costs, not bothered about a big house so I rent a little flat.

Nursery fees are temporary!

Today's living costs - and expectations - rely on both adults having a "decent" income. I think the problem is with your DH and your expectations of social mobility rather than cost of living and/or lack of inheritance

Home ownership via mortgages is actually a relatively "new" concept. In Europe most people rent. Years back in this country most people rented and often in shared buildings.....I'm not saying that's right but if you have one adult who can't/wont maximise their income then you have to forgo things like mortgages etc. and childcare....if he's the much lower earner than shouldn't he be saving you the childcare costs?

Our expectations are of a nice car - maybe more than one, foreign holidays, mortgaged home, latest mobile phones/gadgets streaming services. When actually our parents generation had none of those things and didn't expect them anyway and that enabled one parent to not work.....

Plenty of people manage but yes it is harder than it was and living standards have dropped rapidly, with a widening gap between those able to rely on family money and those without.

Social mobility has gone backwards.

There must be many millions of people living in the UK without family money or inheritance. Like previous poster, I have neither, DH has neither and none is coming. We are fine.

All I know is that I wouldn't be in my current comfortable position without having had an inheritance which paid off our mortgage. It would be difficult if I wasn't working, and we still have to be careful about what we spend, but if I lost my job tomorrow we would be able to manage.
I have life insurance and of course there will be the house to sell after I pop my clogs, so my children will also have an inheritance.

We don’t have family money or inheritance but have a good standard of living. We both work in professional careers. We’ve never had any family help with childcare so always had to pay for it, which was tough at the time, but now they’re at school it’s easier.
Most of my friends haven’t got family money and haven’t (yet) had any significant inheritances, but most have decent lives.

Social mobility requires all parties to be fixated on the notion of class.

You're talking about two different things which is the level of comfort available. My parents weren't wealthy at all - we had a few nice holidays (more as we got older) but no private school, one car, both worked, neither University educated. Our house probably worth about £250k now.

I worked hard at school and am now comfortable. Over 200k joint income outside of London, decent property we can afford to heat.

My standard of living isn't the same because I work a very stressful job whereas my Mum's wasn't - she worked FT but finished at 4.30 most days.

The issue now is that people expect too much without having to work hard for it.

Sorry, not in my case. I've sacrificed a lot, worked since I was 16 alongside university (got scholarships as well as the maximum amounts of loans and burseries. I'm on a good salary and so is my DH (wasn't when I met him, he didn't go to uni and started an apprenticeship at 17). We definitely live better than our parents did.

Second child is due soon and our salaries will be largely spent on that for a while, so that will require some cuts backs. Costs for almost everything are insane, so on that I agree and if we weren't going n both salaries we would be living more frugally. There's no way we could survive on one salary, but neither could my parents or DH's (my mum worked full time, DH's mum was a childminder). For context, I'm in my mid 30s.

No family money or inheritance here but we have a much better standard of living than our parents did. The difference is education - both DH and I were the first in our families to go to university

No family money or likely inheritance but have a good standard of living due to hard work, saving, doing up properties and always being in a well paid job. I chose not to have kids which has enhanced our income.

I disagree. If what you mean is that you expect to live a more comfortable life than your parents then that is down to all sorts of different choices (and societal factors). But the vast majority of people don't have family money or inheritance.

Ditto @Fulshaw I’ve worked my ass off and made smart moves, plus luck - and have a totally different living standard

Your DH isn't earning enough and you have nursery fees. This is the problem, I think. What is DH earning? Can he get a better job?

I can remember working for £140 a month (!) after nursery fees were deducted from my salary. Ridiculous situation, but it kept my job open.

Kids are now adults. DH and I bring home about £6k per month and the mortgage is £235. Things will get better as time moves on.

Plenty of people work hard, like nurses and teachers and their income is shit so I wouldn't say working hard will solve all your financial problems. I'd say it's more about the work you choose to do.

I have none of those
Had a good state education and went to a decent uni. My DH was 1st in his family to go to Uni.
We both work full time. I went back full time when my children were very young (13 weeks max) as we couldn't afford not to
I did get given about £500 once from a relative but that is all
Mid 50s now and I expect that I will be inheriting some money shortly but a bit too late to be life changing!
If we died tomorrow our adult children would get a decent amount from our pension/homes.

Most people won’t ever have a decent house unless they inherit one. They might be able to stretch to a starter home but thats as far as they’ll ever get. The “housing ladder” only exists if you inherit money.

YANBU. UK has become very unequal, more so that the rest of Europe, largely because housing has been left to the 'market; and spiralled out of control.

I am an immigrant from a poor country with no social welfare. So is my Dh. We have no family money or inheritance or a house. We were both educated in our home country.; no Oxbridge degrees for us or red brick network. I am surrounded by other immigrants with the same background.

I have to disagree with you somewhat.

I would say social mobility is harder in the UK and when achieved people look askance at you. I know I was given a free pass as an eccentric non-native and the number of people who said "Ah, we knew you were one of us" when I went on an outing that apparently only one class partakes in; and the disappointment that followed when I went on a similar outing that only another class partakes in. The gossip about a family that moved from working class to senior execs was shocking! I think Oz and US root for the underdog whereas in the UK its seen as trying to put on airs.

The same. I actually earned less working after childcare than if I had stayed at home. But childcare is a shared expense and it ensured that I stayed on a career pathway which would have ended otherwise.

I do think there is a lot of comment about previous generations without understanding. Our 1st home we didn't have a sofa for 2 years until we could afford it- we had 2 deckchairs. My children and their peers seem to expect to have the perfect fully furnished home from day 1. My parents had to wait 5 years until they could even get a mortgage in the 1960s as they were rationed, again they had no furnitures and used to share 1 pasty for supper to get the deposit.

No phones, overseas holidays, take aways, no online shopping, - so much less life pressure back then.

I’m not saying it’s easy for people nowadays, but that’s not true. We’re in our late 30s. Bought a very small starter home in our late 20s. Aged 34ish we had worked our way up in our respective careers so were able to buy a bigger, family home. Now looking to upsize again as our children are bigger and require more space, and are able to do this as we’ve continued to increase our incomes. No inheritance.

The most sensible thing we did was choose high earning professions and not our passions. To be fair, we didn't have a choice as immigrants, because we would not have have been let into the country otherwise.

We do our passions on the side. At least one of my DC has chosen a high earning profession too, and will not be choosing his passion.

Not true, neither myself or DH has inherited anything, we don't live near our families and haven't had any help with childcare or with the fees. DS is now 11, we live in a very nice area in a 4 bed detached house on a very sought after street. We have just worked very hard.

I should add to my post above that I don’t think we work particularly harder than anyone else, but we did deliberately choose careers that are well paid and offer good progression.

And been lucky.

I don't doubt you worked hard, but luck always plays a part too.