To think it’s very hard to live in the uk without inheritance or family money?

[Lifesucksthenyoudie]

Just that really. Social mobility seems almost impossible at the moment without a head start. I earn a decent salary (Dh doesn’t but that’s another post) but my standard of living is so much worse than my parents and my mother didn’t work until we were in secondary school and even then part time for peanuts. Nursery fees and mortgage alone wipe us out. I haven’t inherited any money (large family, no chance) and feel a bit stuck. Not after sympathy just interested to see if others feel a bit trapped. Why is our society geared up this way?

I worked in The NHS throughout. Am I allowed to whinge?

Erm games consoles were alive and well from the 80s onwards. Remember the Atari? Or even the ZX Spectrum or Commodore 64?

Its weird. In some ways certain necessities have got more expensive. But some luxuries have got more accessible.

When i was a kid (90s) hardly anyone had a fancy brand car. Everyone had a ford, renault, vauxhall etc. Most people had one tv, maybe two. Most homes did not have insta-worthy decor, kitchens were smaller and shabbier and often the white goods weren't fitted in they were freestanding. People had way fewer clothes and shoes. Kids had a lot less toys.

Now you see BMWs, mercedes, audis, range rovers, porsches everywhere.

Everyone has expensive phones and gadgets.

Clothes can be incredibly cheap and there's loads of good quality stuff available second hand too. People have a lot more possessions generally.

Yes of course but not on the scale they are today. I'm not a gamer but remember having a console in the 1980s, now there are so many versions which are expensive to buy, subscribe to and get v bucks etc. Xx

It is much harder now to get on the property ladder. Anyone over 40 who talks about 'just go without' really can't see the reality of today. I am 47 and I would not be able to buy my own terraced house now. Anyone in their 20s can only now buy with family help, used to be you could do it off your own hard work and sweat. Please watch Gary's Economics to see what is going to happen to our children, this diverging Have and Have Nots is only just starting.

There are a lot of subscription services around today that wouldn't have been in the past.

A console (ie. XBox or similar) is way cheaper than a PC of similar spec, and can also be used as a DVD player and as a streaming media player. They're quite good value.

@nodramamama I’ve recommended Gary’s Economics on a few threads but no one ever seems to want to educate themselves. I’ve shared the key messages too and been shot down. Yet it’s absolutely clear cut that the rich are getting richer, poverty is rising astronomically and the standard and cost of living for ordinary people is becoming unmanageable.

i am a follower of gary's economics. For me the life experiences of the people I knew (from non-rich backgrounds) was the nail in the coffin. I am in my early 30s now and DH has family members scattered across several countries and it is becoming blatantly obvious from the home ownership rates/finances of this generation that there is a wider problem.

The summary is the only people who own property in this generation are the cousin who has inherited + work in IT, DH who works for an investment bank + married an international student from a rich family with no student loan debt (me), BIL's brother who married a plastic surgeon. The previous generation were pretty ordinary people with a wide variety of jobs but who all basically owned their homes by this age. Some like DH's mum were actually quite poor. and for the one sibling with a young baby, its actually gotten to the point where they have to move back home (and they both have graduate jobs and established careers in their field!)

Basically as gary said, the only people who would own are those who inherit and who work directly for the rich in a job which the rich values i.e. banker, project manager, doctor (for the rich). Its already happening. I live in London but this is absolutely not just the case in London and other capital cities, as DH's family live in a wide variety of places.

Hear, hear.

Interesting how the wealth divide is splitting families, too.

Generations composed of those who inherit v. those who got parents with dementia, fr’instance.

Hard work has 0 to do with a good life. That’s wrong.

How can you say hardworking has zero to do with a good life? My cousin worked his way from zero to a multimillionaire by sheer hardwork. Not university educated.

I tend to think that blaming society for not being a millionaire with everything you ever coveted is more to do with the individual's wishful thinking than society stopping them. Only the 0.1% with the ideas and talent and guts and grit get the really big wins. 99.9% of us don't, so don't beat youself up over it!

Completely agree, my parent has dementia and all funds are vanishing, we got a helpful amount after a property sale many years ago (sadly years after we'd already bought but still lovely to get) but the vast amount of her wealth is going to care, will be enough left for a funeral

This must be hard, because you know you're not entitled to anything and inheritance is a bonus, but my parents would certainly hate to think all their hard earned savings were going on keeping them alive with a poor quality of life.

Thanks, I think alot depends if the person has choices at least, which thankfully my parent does, but those with little to no funds left will be put wherever there is a space, and often this is in a rush rather than the luxury of time to plan and choose a place. So I consider us lucky that funds are available and we had time in that sense.

No one in our family has got a pot to in but we all own our homes and work hard to pay for the things we want and if something is going to go wrong then it does for us you just plan for shit to hit the fan then when it does you are ready

Dh's mum, pre-dementia, was all about financial savvy. Once dementia really hit her (quite hard and fairly suddenly) there was no choice but to pick a nice care home, and she turned into a prima donna. I want, do this. She was latterly really demanding. It was a sudden regression to her being two years old and stroppy. She could still be lovely, but unless with family, her unhappiness at being left untaken behind was angry. It was one of the most miserable episodes of my 67 years.

But having your own home doesn’t mean you haven’t got a pot to piss in. You could sell up tomorrow and live on the equity you’ve gained unless you’ve bought really recently. If you own your own home you have that choice. If you rent you dont and can still have the same as you are living on day to day.

I am so sorry, it's devastating to see them change, and so unfair to all involved. Your story resonates as my parent is very impulsive on purchases and then doesn't understand cash anymore, they just buy what they want, so am at the stage of enforcing cash withdrawal limits etc.

Thankfully their parents owned a home, which my parent inherited, God only knows where they would be otherwise as they chose not to really work.

My point is that we all live on what we’ve earned no one has given us anything in terms of financial help @Tiredalwaystired which is what the thread is about. There’s no ‘family money’ it’s just your pay check and you

On another topic, there are 2 nice houses overlooking a park in the street next to mine. Both were owned by single old ladies and they’ve both gone into care homes. The houses are falling apart a bit and the garden of one is a foxes den. I’m assuming there’s money to fund the care homes but the fees must be astronomical unless the council funds all or part of it. I know my best friend’s DM is in a care home partly funded by the council
and partly funded by my friend and her DSis but they’re lucky to be able to afford the fees. Her DM didn’t own her own home, long story, divorce and other parent moving abroad to his home country.

This is true @Poppysmom22.

I’m fairly lucky as I have savings and also income from some properties (not a huge portfolio!) for me and DM and DB plus my own home. So have assets to sell for care home fees. But we planned carefully to get the properties when they were cheap and DM has a reduced teachers pension from doing a job share for part of her career and DB didn’t pay NI for some of his early working life (he does now) so his pension won’t be good. He can’t afford to pay into a private pension.

But we appreciate we are lucky and it’s only through a generous inheritance years ago that we’re in the position we are now. There’s still the question of ensuring whatever we do is taxed correctly if we sell.

Although you now have a potential inheritance for your own children.

Nope no children so will go for care home fees in the end I imagine

You seemed to say your entire family had bought their own homes. No children for any of you? No nieces or nephews?

Care home fees must be paid for by the person, if they have the means, until they run out. Then once you are down to around £22k the council starts to pay some I believe. They do allow you £9kish, to pay for a funeral I suppose. Our parent pays £3400 per month for a basic care home, nothing luxurious but nice and a good location.