To think DH cant come to this

[KatieBr]

So I am working away in London for a few nights (never had to before so don't really understand the rules)

DH said as neither of us have been to London, he could join me (obviously pay for his own transport) but surely he wont be able to stay in my hotel room?

Why would you not be able to navigate London on your own? It really isn’t a scary place. How old are you? You do sound very sheltered/immature.

In most companies this would be fine and if you are keen to spend time with your husband in London I'd go for it.

As others have said tho, why on earth is he suggesting you shouldn't be travelling alone in Central London? In the middle of the day? The tube is incredibly easy and safe. I live 40 minutes north of London and regularly go in for dinner or the theatre and make my way back to euston around midnight with no bother at all. Is he controlling in other ways?

I don’t think it’s that odd, especially as the op doesn’t appear to do a lot of work travel. DH’s current company, and his last one, see travel days as travel days. Which means sometimes they get a bonus of free time and sometimes they don’t, and the first makes up for the times when the latter are long days.

This is incorrect. Your company may have that rule but it's not something I've ever heard of. Unless it's spelt out in your company policy, of course he can crash in your room as long as it doesn't cost your company anything.

you do know a lot of jobs don't involve remote work right? like it just doesn't exist within the company. you know nothing about ops industry.

Because it’s our capital city with world famous galleries, theatres, museums & restaurants. I would have thought anyone with an interest in history & culture would want to see it. I know some people live in a sheltered bubble though.

I have an interest in history and culture but I have no interest in visiting London, I've visited lots of UK cities, lots of European cities, Canada, Australia, US, the Caribbean, Mexico amongst others - if that's living in a sheltered bubble I'll take that

WTF? It's not my capital city.

Why are some of you so shocked that not everyone has been to London? Maybe you need to get out more, broaden your experiences

Partners can join for business travel provided no extra cost is incurred for my company and same goes for DH, as long as I pay my own travel, food etc. I can stay in his room for free. He'd never be in anything smaller than a double anyway.

This happens a lot in my company. Totally fine as long as nothing is expensed on behalf of the partner. Usually the room cost is the same, partner should pay for their own breakfast etc

I’m curious to know what other controlling habits this man has, and in what other ways he’s undermined your self confidence.

I've been to London. I do find it stressful. Im not interested in returning. There are lots of other places with history and culture. I live in one.

If you and your husband can get the next day off work @KatieBr, I think he should go with you on the first day, after having booked an extra night at the same hotel - if possible - just so that you can spend some nice time together in an amazing city.

However, I strongly believe that you should make it very clear to your DH that you want him to come along for his excellent company, and not because you couldn't manage central London on your own! So please have a serious talk with your DH about putting you down insidiously like that, he might not even realise he is doing it, as far too many generations of men have grown up in a misogynistic household, and have learned to talk to woman like that.

Obviously, misogyny needs to be, in fact must be, stopped. Luckily, an otherwise kind and intelligent man (like your DH ?), should agree with this from the start, and be able to learn how to understand, agree with, and implement this behaviour. reasonably easily.

I hope you have a great time OP, in whatever way it plays out.
But I am quite puzzled about why any business would decide to have a training day in one of the most expensive places in the country?

This sounds amazing, eating alone, child free, wine, BLISS

So what is the problem you want an answer to, @KatieBr?

@KatieBr the main question in all of this is do you actually want your DH to go with you?

if you do, check your companies policy. If you don’t and he won’t accept that then the issue isn’t really the trip, but his lack of respect

Totally normal in my business. Sometimes partner will even join colleagues for dinner. I'd just check your company policy. It's fine under my company policy but only if it doesn't end up costing the company any more money.

This is actually quite sad.

London is one of the world's great cities, and there really is something for everyone. The range and breadth of experiences / culture / people / neighbourhoods there is unparalleled in the UK and possibly in the world.

If you aren't a curious person interested in learning about the world, that's ok to admit, but don't act like London would have nothing to show you, because unfortunately you're objectively wrong.

Ask. Every company is different.

I used to travel with DP to the USA frequently with DP on his business trips. Provided he was prepared to travel economy, rather than the usual business class, they would even pay for my flight.

We just had to pay for meals. The room was a flat rate so it made no difference there.

It is, so do it! Don't let your husband convince you that's something strange or scary.

Ive had to work away from home in the past, we had to network in the evenings too, eat together ect, we were monitored how much we drank if we were sociable ect, if you are not expected to do this then i cant see a problem tbh.

Why make so many [incorrect] assumptions?

I never once said I had no interest in visiting London, I'm questioning your ignorant and incorrect statement.

My thoughts as well. Haven't read the rest of the thread yet, but my eyebrows went up reading that a man who hasn't been to London tells his wife that she might be unsafe there.

What was the ignorant and incorrect statement?

Genuinely astonished how people get so far in life when they are scared to go into Central London by themselves or get the tube. I've travelled to Batumi, Georgia on my own, come on people!