To think DH cant come to this

[KatieBr]

So I am working away in London for a few nights (never had to before so don't really understand the rules)

DH said as neither of us have been to London, he could join me (obviously pay for his own transport) but surely he wont be able to stay in my hotel room?

Or perhaps not really a city person. I’d rather be up a mountain than in a city because I’m not keen on busy places. Lots of people don’t understand that.

Using the Tube is the easiest thing in the world, and a solo trip to Central London is huge fun. I'd be a bit concerned if my husband thought that the "little woman" wouldn't be able to cope - he knows it would be (and often is) a huge treat for me. So "Woman Up" and enjoy time alone!

My DH had to travel to another country every other week for a number of years. Every couple of months I would fly out on my own on a Thursday morning, explore the local area on my own Thursday and Friday. After he was done with work on Fri, I would join him and colleagues for after work drinks and sometimes a meal and after that we would have the weekend there just the two of us. Of course we would pay for the weekend part and my meals and flights etc. I don’t think it’s that strange, particularly if it’s not interfering with their work and it doesn’t cost the company more money.

tbh his company encouraged partners to do this long weekend type of thing. but probably because they understood that being away every other week for a number of years was quite intense!

Sounds like a fab company! Glad you got to enjoy the trips 😃 maybe some of the more interesting destinations I’ll think about this!

Obviously partners don't actually attend any work related things, but if it doesn't cost the business any more to have someone's partner wandering around the city or whatever during the day, who cares? And why would it be "embarassing"
Dh always invites me to on his work aways. I pick and choose and if its somewhere interesting I'll go. He'll go into his conferences or workshops or whatever and I'll have a great day or two out on my own. He'll give me a text when he's finished to see what I'm up to.
Sometimes I may meet up with other wives who've dome the same. It's quite a nice mini break.

Most companies would be fine with this, I've worked at a couple that wouldn't- best to just ask them.

Bit weird how your DH is patronising you about using the tube though. I thought he'd never been either?

I’m a bumpkin and managed the tube with a baby/pram/luggage on top. Was only travelling through, never ‘been’ to London and really have not much want to. It’s not the centre of the universe despite what some Londoners think.

I can’t decide if your husband sounds controlling or is simply one of these people who can’t stand the thought of travelling about. I know plenty like that to be honest - I recently had to take a bit of a journey (three trains, two buses) for something I didn’t feel like driving back from. I had a couple of people tell me they’d not even bother, such a faff, seemed utterly overwhelming just thinking about it, why would I put myself through that. I love a bit of a hop about though - appreciate a change of scenery a lot more when not getting frustrated with traffic! And an odd sense of achievement when finishing navigating a new place.

DH and I both used to go away for work a lot, he still does more than I do. I don't always go, as I don't have that much leave. But if he's going somewhere interesting I'll often see if it's do-able and also make sure it's the kind of thing where that's OK.

I'm hoping for a Jersey trip soon, and he's off to London this week, I'm not going this time but we looked to see if it was feasible and if there was anything on we wanted to see.

If he was going to a full on conference/business meetings where he was having to be there all day, and network at night and be there a couple of days I wouldn't. Unless it was somewhere really lovely and we'd extend the trip.

As you say though, sometimes it's nice to have a bit of peace at home. I miss when he was travelling a lot as I did get more time to myself.

OP - your husband saying you wouldn't want to travel in on the tube on your own does sound weird.

Most companies it’s perfectly fine
pre-kids my DH had a work trip to NY, I paid for my flights (and expenses) and had a very long (wed-sun) weekend in NY
i did my own thing wed-fri, joined DH and his colleagues for drinks (after they went for dinner one night, and then spent Sat and Sun with DH in NY
the company knew, his manager was the one that extended the invite for me to join them for drink!
we did offered to pay the difference (single to double occupancy) - but it was the same rate - I even got hotel breakfast
a lot of people do it
yes do check with your company, but it’s perfectly fine, as long as you don’t charge for their expenses

It was brilliant! And worked really well as my annual leave allowance was more than his so it was a good way to use it up!!! Sadly he hasn’t worked there for many years now so it like so long ago now. Such a shame as I could do with another long weekend away 🤭

Yeah just pay for breakfast for the extra person.

I've often accompanied DH on work trips. It's fine.
I also arrange travel for my colleagues and many people bring partners and occasionally children. Our company policy is that if you bring a partner you pay the difference in price yourself. If it doesn't cost any extra then it's fine.

Millions of us survive the tube every day.

Take the Liz line for the luxury experience ;) No reason to avoid the tube unless you have extreme claustrophobia.

I'm taking my husband and child with me on a work trip to Europe in a couple of weeks. Totally normal.

I'm sure it's fine. I've accompanied DH on business several times. Usually to Swindon 😐

I never went to London until I was 30-something, but the tube is not difficult, dangerous or scary in the slightest, so you certainly don't need your DH to protect or advise you. Not that he knows anything about the tube anyway if he's never been!

I’ve friends and colleagues who have never been outside of London 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ everyone has different opportunities in life

I lived far from London but used to go there and travel around on my own from the age of 14. It's ridiculous for him to suggest that you couldn't cope there. It's the easiest city to travel around that I've ever been to!
If you want him to join you then I'm sure it's fine. If he's muscling in and you'd enjoy the time alone then say no.

I was fine until I mentioned it to DH, he was like do you really want to get on the tube to central London by yourself, I wouldn't recommend it!

Why do people do this, make out others are totally incompetent & couldn't do something that is fairly straight forward?

Does this man frequently undermined your abilities in life? That really is a shame

People in my work do this all the time. As long as it's not interfering with your work (e.g. stopping you going out for evening work events) or costing the company any money (e.g. booking a larger room, paying for an extra breakfast etc) then generally think it's fine. I would probably check with my manager to be sure but I think it's perfectly acceptable unless there's a policy in place that says otherwise.

So you will be there for work, and he wants to come along for a free jolly.

Is he jealous ?

Why is London so frightening ? it's merely a City and if you are old enough to have a job you are old enough to do this by yourself.

If the two of you have never done a weekend break in London I can only guess it is because you never chose to do so.

See, this strikes me as odd. Doesn't he think you're capable of travelling to/around London by yourself, and if not why not? Just feels a bit overprotective/infantilising to me?

I think that if you're not used to travelling solo this is a good opportunity to start. Also, personally I wouldn't have thought it would look great to your work if you couldn't do this without your DH tagging along.

I don't mean any of that to sound harsh, btw, it's just my perspective, but then I have travelled a lot on my own, both in and outside the UK, and can't imagine needing DH along, or his wanting to accompany me, tbh.

I;d be expected to work on that travel day.

Okay, not particually hard but "read stuff" on the train down and then do some work/answer some emails in the afternoon at the hotel.

not swan off to sitesee as soon as i arrive.

giving you the whole day off as you need to go on a train seems odd.

Yeah, London certainly has the best public transport system anywhere in the UK, and it's up there with the best in the world - the Victoria Line has the most frequent service of any metro system anywhere. Oyster and contactless make it very easy to use. I was travelling all over the tube network regularly from the age of 12 - I'm now nearly 50 - and I can't recall a single bad thing ever happening to me.

Sure, it's not much fun in rush hour at the height of summer, but not much is!

Of course he can come!
Check with HR if you don't know what the policy is.

My DH has been with me before when I had to go somewhere alone, not because I was anxious but simply that it was 2 nights in a good UK city. I booked my own room, was a double anyway and didn't cost any more so that was fine. Then claimed expenses for 1 train ticket, 1 meal on the receipts etc
No issue, I went to my work thing for 2 days while he explored and we had nice evenings out together after