To think DH cant come to this

[KatieBr]

So I am working away in London for a few nights (never had to before so don't really understand the rules)

DH said as neither of us have been to London, he could join me (obviously pay for his own transport) but surely he wont be able to stay in my hotel room?

I’m genuinely shocked how many people do this? I travel all over the world and it just wouldn’t cross my mind for my partner to come during the event, in fact I’d be really embarrassed. I have once extended and stayed on for a week when I had to go to Japan but this was all agreed with HR and had pay the difference if the later flight was more expensive (it wasn’t).

If his addition to the trip costs no extra, ie he just shares the room at the same cost, then it's fine. As long as he pays for all his own way then as an adult you can choose to share the bedroom on a work trip? Someone might hook up with a stranger or use a sex worker? I'm sure that's not unheard of, lol.
So as long as you are doing the work and he makes himself scarce for that, then it's just about a room being shared which seems no biggie.

My dh checked with his company that I could stay with him when he went away. I paid my own transport etc and they were more than happy for me to stay at the hotel. It was paid for per room and not per person so there was no issue

Ah op how exciting! You'll love it!

@araiwa

No he definitely can't go.
Against company policy
Gross misconduct

Explain how you know it’s against her companies policy and would be considered gross misconduct

🫣 thousands of people travel around London on the tube and other forms of transport on their own. I used to do this aged from about aged 15/16ish when I would travel to London from one of the Home Counties for gigs in the evening or for a day trip to Camden!

it’s one thing for him to want to come along, and as many others have said it’s probably fine but do check with work.

HOWEVER!! I think it’s a bit weird for him to use the “London is scary and dangerous” line ton convince (or scare you) into bringing him along.

Why? What does think will happen to you??

Good point
When I had to go to London and use the Tube I was terrified. DH talked me through it, reassured me and helped me make a plan on what I was going to do and even found me an app to help. He was also on the other end of the phone if I needed him.
At no point did he suggest I couldnt do it.
I was actually absolutely fine, despite making a couple of mistakes and DH was pleased for me.
I do wonder if OPs H is being controlling here. I worked with a lady once who's OH wouldnt let her stay away or insited on coming with her. She was offered support but insisted there wasnt an issue - i think she lost her job after being late for a morning meeting due to traffic when we were all staying the night before.She had arrived and checked in but left very late to go home despite prmising her manager she wouldnt.Management was sympathetic but unfortunately due to her lies and unreliability she wasnt an efffective member of the team. It was a few years ago so might have been handled differently now

Obviously partners don't actually attend any work related things, but if it doesn't cost the business any more to have someone's partner wandering around the city or whatever during the day, who cares? And why would it be "embarassing"?

Can’t do any harm to ask. The worst they can do is say no or ask for a contribution towards the cost. I’ve tied work trips in with visiting families and also accompanied a friend on a work trip abroad. Her company offered this as a park that they paid for an extra night away and could bring a partner/friend. They won’t sack you for asking a question

I did that and it was just a friend with benefits, not even a husband.

Of course this isn't true. OP just check with your employer. It's common at my work for people to do this, partners have to pay their own meals, transports and insurance (if abroad).

I’ve done this and it was fine. Travelled to places like New York and entertained myself during the day.
Your h is being weird making out the tube to be scary because it’s not. Busy during rush hour if you are only used to driving to work but no different to other train systems.

My DH did this, it was a premier inn in a costal spot and they were not happy when they saw I was here too as the booking was only in his name. They told him they were not allowed to let me stay in the room as it was booked through a company system and couldn't add names. It was very embarrassing! Never again!

• family, not families ** perk not park!

Me and my baby spend months going away with my husband. We loved it 😀

I've travelled to hundreds of places all over the world but never been to London.

It's not a lack of curiosity, it's a lack of interest. London holds zero interest for me. I'm always staggered that people think non-londoners should be all starry eyed and amazed and excited to visit.

We did it when I used to have to go to London, if we used the restaurant we would ask for separate bills for the food and the drink as I had a decent allowance for food but none for drink!

I don’t think it should matter, I’m a nanny and my bosses before now have asked me to accompany them on work trips. I mean obviously they paid for my room themselves but I doubt they’re work minded.

don't let him intimidate you into needing a babysitter. so does he intend to drop you off at work in the morning and wait outside the door to pick you up? What if you get chatting and a few people suggest getting a drink afterwards?

Nothing scary about the tube if you pay attention. Use something like google maps to get the route sorted, follow the directions, don't be afraid to ask for directions.

I used to always convince work it was cheaper to go down a night in advance so id go after work, get dinner alone, go to my hotel, go to the course the next day then sometimes i'd pay for a night myself and book a day off and have a day in London.

Never had an issue eating out alone , never got lost and i'm the sort of person who could get lost in a cul de sac.

Take him if you fancy but not because he's infantilising you to get his own way

Maybe it’s just a different work environment, I have to network in the evening, I’m just picturing someone’s partner and kids tow- so probably very different scenarios end environments.

If it’s just working in the day and free evenings then I guess not an issue but I often end up having to work much later and would feel I had to be in 2 places. Also let’s be honest the time apart is sometimes nice!!

Either way it will be written in the travel policy.

No he definitely can't go.

Against company policy

Gross misconduct
Blimey!!🤣🤣

My 11 year old gets the tube by herself to school every day!

I wouldn't say it's a lack of curiosity to have never been to London but English public transport is so annoying, it's often easier to go into London and out again than go cross country.

It isn't an issue to take partners in my experience. I've been on my partner's work trips to Sweden, Italy and the US. I paid for my costs but I got to stay in luxury hotels I wouldn't have paid for if this was a personal trip. Similarly, I've brought my partner on work trips to Asia and covered her costs. No one has minded in the slightest. The only issues we had was getting seats where we could sit together!

For that comment I’d go by yourself.

You’re a grown woman. You are perfectly capable of getting on and off a tube train.