To think lots of women are happier when men aren’t around

[Smellsofspring]

As in husbands/partners

I don’t mean in all cases and not all the time…but I have noticed it in so many situations. A girls lunch/night out with just my girlfriends is a lot happier/freer/more fun than when our partners join. The dynamics are different, most friends are more dampened versions of themselves when they’re around and I sometimes sense tension. Even family type play dates, if we do just mums and kids, again the atmosphere is better without out other halves. My mum, I can see is visibly happier when just us girls (sister and I) and kids hang out or she tells me when Dh is out as she gets some peace.
My Dsis is 100% a happier and different person as a single mum, than she was in relationships. She’s fun and talkative now, but was moody and withdrawn in previous partners company at family do’s etc.
I personally have had some nice days out/short breaks with Dh and Dd, but my fondest memories have been just her and I and our adventures together. In those memories we’d sing and dance in the car as we drove to places, no stress when driving, no complaining/moods, just pure joy and embracing things.
I don’t hate men, but this is something I notice more and more the older I get

*Our other halves

I am but the main reason is that means he's got the kids and I'm freeeeee. I never feel quite as relaxed if we are both out and they are with grandma, I worry about whether they are OK.

For me not so I love the men in my life my father, brother and especially my DH. Knowing and loving these men enriches my life and makes me happier. I love spending time with my DH, when its just us two blissful is the word I would use.

Also my friends and I can hardly offload about all the little things our partners have done lately that piss us off if they are there.

No I've not noticed that, I like the men in my family, if anything it's some of the women in my family that leave me feeling more uptight. The men in my family are much less judgemental. My husband goes away for months at a time, I'm a much happier, more relaxed person when he's home...because I like him.

I do tend to feel more like that around people
I don't know though, I love ladies night in my local swimming pool, I find it much easier to relax compared to normal sessions, it's a very friendly environment. Networking events at work etc, I prefer female centred groups.

@aldjpandfleba I don’t think it means lots of women don’t like the men in their lives…I just notice more joy and lightness in so many when they’re not around

Definitely true for me OP.

It’s because a huge number of men are arseholes to varying degrees.
Women frequently flourish on their own. Men don’t.
My psychiatrist told me this years ago at the time of my divorce and she was completely right.
From all the women I know only one has a decent husband who is kind and pulls his weight. The rest are leeches draining the women they inflict themselves on of self esteem, money and energy.

@Smellsofspring I don't recognise that, as I say I like (most) of the men in my life so I am joyful and light around them, some of the women however, absolutely not! That's personality based surely.

I e got a lovely DH and lovely and decent men in my family. I enjoy their company.

You've nailed it

Yes. That's why I choose to be single and live on my own. I couldn't live with a man. I tried it. Nope.

I don't think the instances you mention prove the point that many women are happier without men around. They may be extremely happy in their husbands' company, but have no interest in making conversation with your husband - in fact they may not like your husband, you may not like their husbands, and the husbands themselves may not get on. It is just easier to do playdates without them, and a girls' night out means someone else is doing bedtime so great!

It doesn't mean they aren't happiest of all with their husbands, fathers, brothers, and their own male friends. It just doesn't necessarily work to bring different groups together.

@TheYearOfSmallThings From the group I mentioned of friends and family, none of them are extremely happy unfortunately

I'm happy when I get rid of the whole need a man/date mindset and just enjoy being with friends, but my friends are about 50/50 men and women.

My DP was not an arsehole, he's a lovely man and a great dad but it's true I'm so much happier on my own since we separated. I just feel free.

Yep! I imagine this why studies show single women live longer.

OP I totally believe this to be true. Well it is of me, my friends & the women in my family. Xx

From the group I mentioned of friends and family, none of them are extremely happy unfortunately

Well it's down to this surely...? I know I'm not happy around people I dislike, regardless of sec, or unhappy couples in general, it's awkward.

*sex

kind of true for me, I can relate but never thought about this before

It’s a different dynamic. You get used to a way of being with different groups.

That is why couples gatherings are a bit stilted, often some people do not know everyone equally. You have to watch what you say a little more because women are often more frank when the subject they are discussing is not around for a start.

I remember drunken nights with a good play in my early-mid 20’s where we’d always sing the ‘Girls just want to have fun’ song and at the line ‘Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world, I wanna be the one to one in the sun’ and we’d cry and become serious as we both knew that was what often happens with men around

*Pal

I think a lot of men are plain hard work- in different ways- and many women end up ordering their life to 'fit in' with blokes lives - I know some don't and are with easy going men who pull their weight domestically but so many I know especially post 50 are dealing with moody and often verbally aggressive dissatisfied men - hence a session with women only is like a lift

Yes, I’ve noticed that a lot of women seem happier without men around, because most of them are with arseholes who range from useless lump to odious bastard. There are a few notable exceptions who seem to have decent menfolk, but even they flourish in an all female environment. Personally, I’m much more happy and comfortable with no men around, but then I’m not straight so have no use for them anyway. My idea of absolute hell is women blethering on and on about their man like fucking Tinkerbell who needs a man to clap along, although I’m probably not the only woman who finds them tedious.