To have phoned DH’s nephew twice to ask why me daughter and grandchildren aren’t invited to his wedding

[SlothsRUs]

Husband is fucking angry with me. Received an invitation to his nephew’s wedding for us and our two daughters but not for my eldest daughter who is from a previous relationship.

Nephew’s response was that she was a step-relative who hadn’t been thought of but he didn’t think they were close.
He is closer in age to her and has known her longer than he has known the others.

I got his number off husband’s phone. He's furious with me.

Nephew is son of Brother-in-Law. The daughter of Sister-in-Law is invited with her toddler but my grandchildren aren’t invited.

When I found this out I rang him back asking how he felt closer to this family as they had grown up in different countries. He said he wasn’t willing to carry on the conversation.

BiL rang husband suggesting had I requested an invitation, one would be forthcoming, I don’t believe him. I get the sense it was more of control your wife.

I have no hope at all of my daughters not going, husband is definitely going.

I am fucking sick to my stomach. SiL rang me directly virtually threatening me saying I had upset people and not to involve my MiL.

Fucking furious.

People are going ask DD1 is 28, younger two are 19 and 20. Groom is 29.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 ... well that was an entertaining read for a Sunday afternoon. Totally batshit!

Wow. You do realise it’s not YOUR wedding?

Or relative to contact. The audacity!

It's not 'staying home with the KIDS 'though. This stepdaughter is 28 years old and has her own children (which OP also wants invited)

We are not talking about a young child. We are talking about a 28/29 year old woman with children of her own who isn't close to the bride and groom at all.

If it was a small child who had been pointedly excluded while all other siblings were included then that would be very different. To be honest, we don't know that the eldest DD even wants to go, just that her mother (the OP) has thrown a massive tantrum and made a twat of herself.

Appoint a solicitor, and threaten legal action. Also contact The Sun and they will definitely run the story. Shame the nephew until he can be shamed no more. Split the family. Embarrass yourself. Humiliate your husband. All that matters is that you get your own way. You know what's right.

This is disgusting what a nasty piece of work he is excluding someone. Was it necessary, was it worth the bad feeling?
Dosent sound like a nice happy guy.
When people show you who they are believe them.
I hope nobody goes now and you deffo shouldn't give him headspace.

Whose are the grandchildren- a child who is invited or one who isn’t? Taking away the step child element if your other children live with you it’s different because you are a family household unit. It sounds like your eldest has her own family? Children living with you are generally invited for politness

😱

Yep, I’d be fuming too.

I'm guessing he's done it so you throw a hissy fit ( which you have) and become so irrational, that you cause a scene and don't go, or isn't welcome anymore!
You obviously won't have disappointed him. If that was his plan

You sound almost hysterical..
I think you can probably kiss any good family relationships bye bye.
Nobody wants to deal with you shouting your mouth off when something doesn't suite you.

He hasn't excluded a child. He simply hasn't invited someone he barely knows and who isn't actually related to him in any way at all. The line has to be drawn somewhere.

It is a huge leap to say that that makes him a nasty piece of work. OP's eldest daughter is 29 and with children of her own. By OP's own admission her DD and the groom aren't close. We haven't even been told for sure that the DD actually wants to go anyway.

Don't talk utter bollocks.

@everythinglooksbetterpaintedblack the way I read it he just didn't consider the OP's oldest DD as she is an adult who lives a distance away with her own children and they don't have any real contact. Didn't sound like he intended any offence. Might be wrong but got the impression the other DDs, who are full cousins, live at home with OP and their Dad, so they've all been invited as a family on that basis.

Hilarious overreaction. No wonder your husband is cross with you!

😂😂😂😂😂😂

😂and practice the compo face for the papers

Who do they think they are?
Just taking a wild guess here but they probably think they are the ones getting married and that they know who they feel close to. 🤷

I...
I can't imagine ever doing this.

I would be SO embarrassed if my husband did.

Oh my gosh. This really isn't appropriate.

If someone doesn't invite people to their wedding, that is their choice.

Confronting them over THEIR day and making it about you is wild.

We aren't entitled to wedding invitations...

I'm sure this is the same op.
Relationships are the same.
Seems to have moved on a bit with op ringing up.
I agree with op / it is out of order.
But some people are like that.
Remember- you can't argue with stupid.
Best to let it go - and decline if it's too upsetting.

I can see why upset, but what did you hope to achieve by calling him? I think it would be best for your DH to go alone. If you attend it will be really awkward and spoil what should be a happy and relaxing day.

To clarify, I do think your daughter should have been invited and I would never have excluded her in this way. It wasn’t the right thing to do imo, but ultimately it’s their choice who to invite. I would simply have declined the invitation and given the reason if I had been asked. Contacting him directly was rude and confrontational, although he really should have apologised and said it was an oversight (even if it wasn’t) and extended an invitation straight away. That would have cooled things down and avoided what now has the makings of a family rift.

DD1 is 28 years old. A whole grown-ass adult. She'll get over it. I genuinely thought you were talking about leaving out an actual child!

Yes it's a snub. Yes, your DDs relationship with her... non-biological-cousin(?) likely won't survive, but so what? A non-biologically related adult offspring of your dads brothers partner just would not feature very highly in the limited invite list of anyone.

You've only suceeded in making yourself sound utterly mental. YABVVU.

If he didn't mean any offence, why not mention it then and ask.

I can see why you’re not welcome there.

Because when he was asked, he answered that inviting that DD just hadn't occurred to him, I'd say for the reasons I mentioned above. Seemingly there isn't a relationship between them and she doesn't live locally, so it didn't occur to him, rather than specifically ruling her out.

People are going ask DD1 is 28, younger two are 19 and 20. Groom is 29

If only the words invited, she and wasn't could be arranged into the blindingly obvious answer