Didn’t think to book bowling - am I the villain?

[DaniRT]

It was DS’s birthday today and he decided he wanted to go bowling and with both side’s grandparents. I didn’t think it would be busy because I called a few days ago and the woman said you didn’t need to book so I didn’t bother.

Fast forward to today and we get there and it’s the busiest I’ve ever seen it and there were no spaces available. Obviously it was my fault I didn’t book and I hold my hands up. However DS was fuming and stormed off swearing at me and every one else’s faces were like thunder. MIL, FIL and my parents were making comments like ‘why didn’t she book? I’d have thought she’d think to book’ whilst scowling at me as though I was the wicked witch of the west. There was a massive atmosphere for about an hour after this happened and I felt like I’d murdered someone or something.

We decided to go to Wetherspoons instead afterwards and it ended up being ok other than my mum making a couple of jokey snide comments in my direction and I felt so scrutinised by everyone despite me being the only person who ever organises anything in this family. I apologised for the mistake but I’m a human being and on this occasion I titsed up!

AIBU to think I was treated too harshly for my one and only birthday mishap or was it fair?

You asked if you should book, the venue told you no. I’d have booked cos I’m that sort of person - but I still don’t think you did any tbh wrong, as you had checked. Even if it was stupid of you (it wasn’t) …

However DS was fuming and stormed off swearing at me

Why was that followed by Wetherspoons and not taking him straight home?

I would have expected someone to book, whether that should have been you is a different question, but I definitely would have booked.

@Testina He apologised soon afterwards and I didn’t want the rest of the day ruined.

I would have booked but you didn't do anything wrong; they could have booked- why is it on you?!?

I can’t imagine ever organising a birthday activity and inviting extended family without booking,

I would have booked - only because I am that sort of person who would want certainy on the day + impact of covid where the norm is to pre-book everything.

^^ this for any bookable birthday 'event' with or without other family members (especially on a Saturday).

I imagine your DS was excited about it and then very disappointed (swearing not OK though) and your family saw that. I can understand them being a bit off with you initially. Hope it has all blown over now and you take him bowling soon (today?). Lesson learned.

Because she is his mother and the organiser of the family event?

They didn’t say you can’t book, when I was on the phone to them, I would have just booked it. Not hard to imagine that it might be busy in a Saturday.

Since you went to the effort of calling, I don't understand why you didn't book even if the woman told you it wasn't usually needed - to do so would surely have taken only about a minute more? Give a time, give number of guests, give a name?

It's not easy to have your mistakes called out over and over. After all you couldn't go back in time to book. I'm not sure posting in Mumsnet was ever going to make your feel better about it though judging by the number of why didn't you book comments 😁

Sorry OP but I would have booked too.

All you can do is learn from it.

I went bowling today and it is also my son’s birthday. I don’t always book bowling but it’s Saturday, pretty risky not to.

If your inlaws were there was the dad/their son? If so why were they only annoyed at you?

@ZanzibarIsland Because I organise most family events as no one else can be arsed.

I’ve learned my lesson I definitely will book if when we go again.

You’re obviously a very different person to me. As I will always book things if possible. Especially if it involves other people, long drives/travel, special occasions. I actually get annoyed with things that can’t be booked! I find the uncertainty frustrating and unnecessary.

It was really odd not to book. I can't think why you took the chance. I'm not surprised your DS was upset.

Jeez! I hate this kind of situation I don’t think you are asking people “would they have booked” ..I’m reading was it unfair of everyone to rub it in, and cause atmosphere…in which case yes it was unreasonable of them! We all make mistake…you held your hands up and people still want to go on about it. You probably felt the worst out of everyone already.

Its Saturday, it’s your sons birthday of course you should have booked

Seriously, stop organising ANYTHING for these ungrateful shits.

They see you as the family secretary.

Tell everyone that you’re going on strike and any further outings need to be arranged by someone else.

i’d have booked. It’s for a group activity on a Saturday, you always book!

yabu

he shouldn’t have sworn though.

I would have booked regardless of what they said- because I don't trust people 😆 I also would have complained/ would complain that you were put off booking when you called as I possibly wouldn't have done so either if someone who worked there had told me not to- but ultimately your organised an activity, invited people to it, without securing it first.

Maybe because it's her child's birthday.

Don't beat yourself up though, OP. We're only human.

They should never have treated you like that it's appalling.

Well it wasn't up to the grandparents or DS to book, so that leaves OP or her OH. It's not exactly carrying the family mental load to pick up the phone and book a slot for your child's birthday.

But the mental load is that OP is expected to book everything.

Maybe she has had enough.