Didn’t think to book bowling - am I the villain?

[DaniRT]

It was DS’s birthday today and he decided he wanted to go bowling and with both side’s grandparents. I didn’t think it would be busy because I called a few days ago and the woman said you didn’t need to book so I didn’t bother.

Fast forward to today and we get there and it’s the busiest I’ve ever seen it and there were no spaces available. Obviously it was my fault I didn’t book and I hold my hands up. However DS was fuming and stormed off swearing at me and every one else’s faces were like thunder. MIL, FIL and my parents were making comments like ‘why didn’t she book? I’d have thought she’d think to book’ whilst scowling at me as though I was the wicked witch of the west. There was a massive atmosphere for about an hour after this happened and I felt like I’d murdered someone or something.

We decided to go to Wetherspoons instead afterwards and it ended up being ok other than my mum making a couple of jokey snide comments in my direction and I felt so scrutinised by everyone despite me being the only person who ever organises anything in this family. I apologised for the mistake but I’m a human being and on this occasion I titsed up!

AIBU to think I was treated too harshly for my one and only birthday mishap or was it fair?

Yanbu if they told you not too book.
your son needs consequences, birthday or not for that.
he does not get to treat you this way, especially In front of family.
you deserve better than that, it was not YOUR mistake, you went by what you were told.
if I’d have done this we’d have gon home, grounded, birthday or not.

Well if it makes you feel better I also went bowling with my teen for a birthday. I didn’t book and there was no issue, I’ve never booked!
It was just unlucky

Two wrongs don't make a right, and the reactions you had were unacceptable.

I will always book before going anywhere. It could be Tuesday midday and I'll book before setting off.

You really should have booked a birthday celebration on a weekend, I'd be pretty pissed off

By that logic you'd never book anything surely, if some of the party were delayed and you'd booked you'd start without them.

Does anyone really not book set times for things just in case someone is late, I've not come across that

No, this is your chance!

Next time someone else can book in case you mess up again!

Free yourself from being the family organiser.

Poor kid. His birthday ended up being in a weatherspoons? There was no other option at all?

I think seeing as you were on the phone you should have just booked anyway, but if your son is so rude and entitled that he swears at his own mother, he doesn't deserve it anyway

Could you not have booked for an hour or two later, so that you had a chance to bowl after lunch?

@DaniRT I think you're getting an unfair hard time on this thread.

I don't think you did anything wrong and your family were totally shits.

You did ring up to ask about the activity and the venue told you there was no need to book. It's ok in hindsight posters saying "I would have booked anyway" but would they really?

Because that's a pretty awkward telephone conversation.... "can I book X activity please?" "Oh there's no need just turn up" "no I INSIST you take my booking....." that's not usually how the conversation would happen.

I've had similar recently when I rang to book an activity where it explicitly said on the website to book. The staff said no need, just turn up. So we did !

Depending on the age of your DS I can totally understand his disappointment and you did say he apologised. But your family were out of order and probably added to the upset with the side eyes and digs. They should have been helping diffuse the situation not inflame it.

What does that mean?

Is there something wrong with wanting to go to Weathespoons, my local one is always packed and now you've mentioned it I'm surprised there was a table there without booking

I doubt they'll get a bollocking because a potential customer made a mistake.

The customer didn't make a mistake, the customer did exactly as instructed by the member of staff.

I probably would've sent an email afterwards and complained too.

Would I have booked - yes

Is it odd that the venue said no need - yes, because surely bowling is weather dependent a lot of the time, so how would the receptionist feel?

Your DS should not have sworn at you, your DP is just as responsible as you.

No one else can be arsed, so assume the same position.

@shoppingshamed

Is there something wrong with wanting to go to Weathespoons

Yes if you were expecting to go bowling for your birthday treat

I can't imagine inviting people to an event, particularly at a weekend , and not actually organising and booking the event.

However, in no circumstances would a child swear at me either

So should they all just have gone home or do you mean they should have tried to find another bowling place?

I'd have booked but there's absolutely no need for the reaction from the rest of the family

OP said the woman said you didn’t need to book which could be taken to mean that they do accept walk ins so you don't have to book. As most bowling centres do get packed out on a Saturday (including the one they went to) it sounds (to me) like that is exactly what she meant.

The staff member couldn't guarantee that there would be spare slots, whatever she said, so I think OP would look a bit silly complaining about it.

Have I missed how old the DS is?
A child or an adult?
Bowling for a birthday, then into a 'Spoons but swears at his DM.
Anyhoo, some people like to make a big deal out of someone else's mistake but it was a mistake, no-one was injured, ds, no matter how old should not be swearing at you and the other family members should have downplayed it and shown you some support, they'll have known you would feel bad about it.

Agree that there was misunderstanding.

Op. " hello, do I have to book?"
Member of staff " no, you don't have to book, it's quiet at the minute. " ( meaning that they take walkins and that at that particular point, say a Monday morning it is really quiet)

Op then heard, that it's quiet all the time and that there is no need to book at all. Whereas what was meant is that if there is space available then you can bowl without a booking

I mean everywhere needs booking these days and especially on a Saturday. Was it also raining? I don't see why your husband couldn't have equally booked it though.

No I meant what I said he (the birthday boy) didn't want to go there, he wanted to go bowling, that's all that is wrong with wanting to go to Wetherspoons - I was answering your question.

I think they probably made the best of a bad job.

I hope OP or her OH (or somebody) take him as that was his birthday treat.

I'm more shocked that a staff member told you no need to book on a Saturday.

I wouldn't go without booking especially if I invited extended family.

I’d not book anything ever again! They can do it. Time to absolve yourself of the responsibility and the abuse.