Didn’t think to book bowling - am I the villain?

[DaniRT]

It was DS’s birthday today and he decided he wanted to go bowling and with both side’s grandparents. I didn’t think it would be busy because I called a few days ago and the woman said you didn’t need to book so I didn’t bother.

Fast forward to today and we get there and it’s the busiest I’ve ever seen it and there were no spaces available. Obviously it was my fault I didn’t book and I hold my hands up. However DS was fuming and stormed off swearing at me and every one else’s faces were like thunder. MIL, FIL and my parents were making comments like ‘why didn’t she book? I’d have thought she’d think to book’ whilst scowling at me as though I was the wicked witch of the west. There was a massive atmosphere for about an hour after this happened and I felt like I’d murdered someone or something.

We decided to go to Wetherspoons instead afterwards and it ended up being ok other than my mum making a couple of jokey snide comments in my direction and I felt so scrutinised by everyone despite me being the only person who ever organises anything in this family. I apologised for the mistake but I’m a human being and on this occasion I titsed up!

AIBU to think I was treated too harshly for my one and only birthday mishap or was it fair?

NOT what the OP is asking.
Honestly, the number of people misunderstanding what the OP's thread is about just shows how easy it is for people to make mistakes.
All the people piling on the OP to say she should have booked aren't much better than her family.

• NOT what the OP is asking. Honestly, the number of people misunderstanding what the OP's thread is about just shows how easy it is for people to make mistakes. All the people piling on the OP to say she should have booked aren't much better than her family.*

She's asking if she's the villain. I'm very much saying yes. Yes she is and if I were her family I'd have been utterly fuming too. Bonkers not to book.

Yes, OK the OP is human and made a mistake, admitted it and feels bad. Does that mean she hasn't upset others though?

Her son asked to go bowling for his birthday, grandparents have taken the time to travel (no idea how far) for a fun family activity. So there were maybe 6-7 people at least.

Regardless of what the OP was told by the staff member, she did ring to book it & did not, even though she was already on the phone. So OP knew that its an activity that normally requires booking.

So yes her son and family would understandably be angry/disappointed.

Was their reaction acceptable? No, there was no need to drag out the guilt trip, her son has apologised for swearing.

Its like planning on going for a meal at a popular busy restaurant on a Saturday at 7pm without booking it. You wouldn't ring up to book and accept that you can just turn up on the day instead.

Understandable, yes.

Acceptable, no.

Not everyone has the emotional resilience to react in an acceptable manner, adults or not. We don't know how they normally react or the family dynamics.

It is UNDERSTANDABLE they were upset.

Do you even know what villain means?

This is strange.

I can't imagine my kid choosing to go bowling with grandparents for their birthday no matter what their age.

Assume he's under 10.

But he swore at you so possibly not.

I always book bowling. No one ever just turns up do they?

I can understand your ds being disappointed and having a bit of a strop, although I wouldn't tolerate the swearing, is that normal behaviour from him? I would absolutely tell your mother to fuck off with her snide comments. It sounds a little to me op like your family are used to treating you like shit and walking all over you?

Yeah, it was a bit daft not to book but it's not like you did it on purpose.

I wouldn't tolerate people having a massive huff over it at all.

I'd be frustrated if I turned up to a birthday meal and it hadn't been booked by the organiser tbh. Even more so for a kids activity

Its not about "tolerating a huff" but realising people would be rightly disappointed. And yes OP screwed up. Doesn't need to cover themselves in ashes or anything, just apologise and move on. But yes people are right to be miffed, especially the child.

Obviously manners expects that after an initial "wasn't that booked? Oh I thought you'd have booked it conversation " people move on...

But yes it was a screw up. Hopefully you went bowling another time and you know for next year but life moves on no point dwelling on it. We all make mistakes.

Clearly you don't do many activities with your DC otherwise you'd have known to book in advance

You know for next time always book especially if people have travelled especially to go to an event

Urm yes this is a normal reaction