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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My mum moved in but barely lifts a finger

129 replies

Mumoftwinsandasingleton · 15/03/2024 12:32

My mum was sent a section 21 for her rented flat back in August 2023. She has been living with me and my husband since. We had twins in September 2023 and have a 3 year old. My mum works as a cleaner from 6am to 9am. She is then free throughout the day. She despises helping out with the children as she just wants to sit and watch day time TV without the children in the way. She can't cook, so always waits for me to prepare all meals. She also doesn't clean the house or help out with any chores aside from washing her OWN clothes and washing dishes. She contributes £20 every week but not a penny over. Whenever we go for shopping, she always expects me to pay and then whines that she only has x amount in her purse if I do ask her to pay. On mother's day, she chose to go out with my sister and sends her money regularly even though my sister refused to take her in during her dire situation. My husband really tolerates my mum and keeps saying I'm clearly not the favourite child. She needs to move on but is still waiting for the housing to get back to her. Any advice?

OP posts:
Mumoftwinsandasingleton · 21/04/2024 22:50

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 21/04/2024 12:43

£200/ month is a start, but still isn't very much, and probably only just covers the costs to you of her staying there. What does she do with the rest of her earnings? Is she saving anything towards future rent/bills/ a deposit on a flat/ the costs of moving?
Why not charge her a bit more, and do what lots of parents on here seem to do with the money their adult kids pay for bed and board (save some of it up and give it back to the child when they move out)?!

I honestly have no clue what she does with her money. She is on minimum wage and is now on a 2 hour evening shift, on top of her 3 hour morning shift, to boost her income. Whenever I ask if she has saved, her reply is "no, the money just seems to vanish". I'm confused as to how and she also says she has no idea

OP posts:
Tourmalines · 21/04/2024 23:16

Mumoftwinsandasingleton · 21/04/2024 22:50

I honestly have no clue what she does with her money. She is on minimum wage and is now on a 2 hour evening shift, on top of her 3 hour morning shift, to boost her income. Whenever I ask if she has saved, her reply is "no, the money just seems to vanish". I'm confused as to how and she also says she has no idea

Well , she’s lying . It can’t be that hard to figure out .

Mumoftwinsandasingleton · 21/04/2024 23:16

Crapuscular · 21/04/2024 15:13

I'm concerned that your husband might not be quite so accepting of this situation.

He's happy with the new set up and likes that she cleans the kitchen really well. Whenever he's around, my mum does a lot more so he's generally happy

OP posts:
Mumoftwinsandasingleton · 21/04/2024 23:19

Tourmalines · 21/04/2024 23:16

Well , she’s lying . It can’t be that hard to figure out .

I'm well aware but I can't check her accounts to verify. I know she pays for a £250 storage unit where her large items are and she has a car but she should have some money left over

OP posts:
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