My mum moved in but barely lifts a finger

[Mumoftwinsandasingleton]

My mum was sent a section 21 for her rented flat back in August 2023. She has been living with me and my husband since. We had twins in September 2023 and have a 3 year old. My mum works as a cleaner from 6am to 9am. She is then free throughout the day. She despises helping out with the children as she just wants to sit and watch day time TV without the children in the way. She can't cook, so always waits for me to prepare all meals. She also doesn't clean the house or help out with any chores aside from washing her OWN clothes and washing dishes. She contributes £20 every week but not a penny over. Whenever we go for shopping, she always expects me to pay and then whines that she only has x amount in her purse if I do ask her to pay. On mother's day, she chose to go out with my sister and sends her money regularly even though my sister refused to take her in during her dire situation. My husband really tolerates my mum and keeps saying I'm clearly not the favourite child. She needs to move on but is still waiting for the housing to get back to her. Any advice?

You have the "mother" equivalent of a cocklodger because you both didnt sit down at the start and agree the terms of her moving in! £20 a week is nothing - the money she gives to your sister she ought to give to you to cover her share of the utilities! Or she needs to contribute in other ways ( if shes paying off debts) or move out (maybe to your sisters!)

Any one else willing to bet that Mum hasn't spoken to the council?

She needs to go as she’s taking the piss

how did your mum afford rent previously and what is she doing with that money right now?

She was with my sister originally. It was technically my sister who had the eviction notice and she found a place for herself but did not want to live with our mum anymore. My mum was actually buying all the food when it was just the two of them

She was living my sister who paid all the rent. My mum just paid for the food. Prior to this, my mum was evicted from her flat for not paying the rent. Housing benefits were originally paying and then my mum had to top up but she refused the top up payment

But you are completely alone during the day anyway. She doesn't lift a finger to help you. And £20 a week? Is she taking the piss? Does she think that pays all the food and electric she's using? I'd be interested to hear why she got a section 21.

Just seen your update. So she made herself intentionally homeless. Well the council won't help then.

She will not be a priority for any housing while she has a place to live with you, expect this for the foreseeable future.

As well as your mum taking advantage of you, two things jumped out from your posts:

We had twins in September 2023 and have a 3 year old.

so the plan is for me to write the letter once my husband gets back from his holiday.

You have a toddler, 6 month old twins, a useless lodger and your husband is on holidays?

It won’t make a difference. She’s a working adult with no dependants and has a roof over her head with family who won’t kick her out. She’s NEVER getting offered a property!

She won't be a priority full stop after being evicted for refusing to pay the rent.

So the mum was served a section 21 but technically it was the sister who got a section 21. This is getting more confusing with every update.

How old is your mum & does she have anything (disability, caring duties etc) that prevent her working more than 3 hours a day? She sounds like a lazy & entitled pest who needs moving out of your house sharpish.

Why do you need to wait for your husband to get back from holiday to write the letter? Crack on and do it tonight - soon you formalise and mean business the sooner she will be gone. And seriously op, stop running around after her it's doing neither of you any favours!

@HalebiHabibti a lot of people with twins struggle to cope alone with them

Is it possible to make her “homeless at home” (you need help from a solicitor/CAB to do this though.

you write a letter to say she can stay but it cannot be a permanent arrangement because conditions are unbearable.

Time for a sit down family conversation. She contributes financially and to the upkeep of the home AND serve her notice to quit. She has no motivation to find independence again while you're happy to let her live like you are. She's playing you for fools.

Yes YABU. Stop being so wet!

This sounds really difficult op.

She’ll be there, taking advantage, into old age unless you find a route to getting rid of her.

How old is she?

Drop her at the council with a letter to say she is homeless. Stop being a doormat. And why has your husband left you with the kids to go on holiday??

What a nightmare situation.
Its too late for you OP, but this is why you should have said: "Mum I'd love to help, but I'll jeopardise your housing application by having you live with me and I'd hate to do that. So the best thing is sit tight in the temporary accommodation that youll be assigned and I'll be happy to help you with the application".

If you're worried about loneliness, kick her out and get a dog.

@Mumoftwinsandasingleton sorry but £20 for food and board while she sends money to another daughter who refused to take her in??? she is taking the piss out of you! get her out now! on another matter, why has your hubby gone on holiday without you?? that is also very selfish!

This. Op is losing money by having her there. Money that could go to her children’s future education or savings.

Has she F&ck been to the Council!

{Glad I wasn't the only one to be thinking this!}

She ''Doesn't like the look of the flats nearby''..

Well, as a single adult with no kids, she's going to be hardly a priority.

She should have bought a house when she was younger..it was much more ''affordable'' then in real terms, and is much more secure.

But she can't keep sponging off you, @Mumoftwinsandasingleton .

If she was a great asset around the house, cooking and cleaning, and helping with kids, then maybe, just maybe £20 a week would be a token..{but that barely covers food for one person! }

Definitely put your foot down.
She's a ''Henlodger''{ Female Cocklodger.}