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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that people who b*tch about other people's weddings are just sad, sad, sad..

171 replies

Saveme · 26/03/2008 20:25

..and probably jealous, and really should just shut the f*ck up.

Can you tell I'm bored of the wedding bitching that keeps popping up on here?

OP posts:
Original poster
Saveme · 27/03/2008 14:24

Precisely DDF, it's like some people make a huge fuss about not having a big wedding.

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 27/03/2008 14:25

Now I love weddings. I really do. I always cry and find it very moving (regardless of the probability of them not sticking it out for 12 months). And I really enjoyed mine. And if Mr and Mrs Wedding want their guests to wear pink to co-ordinate with the cake, then fair enough. I'll go along with it but I'll think less of them for it I'm afraid. Yes, your wedding is supposed to be special. But it should be special for everyone. Why does making your guests feel like extras on a film set make it special?

Upwind · 27/03/2008 14:25

" By No19 on Thu 27-Mar-08 14:18:12
Nobody said inviting people to a wedding was selfish. What's selfish is getting all controlling about HOW people attend one's wedding, and wanting everyone to shine a big spotlight on one and getting into a rage because a guest doesn't wear the right coloured outfit or whatever one's pet peeve is."

I couldn't have cared less myself, and have never heard of anyone behaving like that, but if guests don't want to attend the wedding the way the bride and groom have invited them, why can't they just refuse the invitation? e.g. If you would rather be at riverdance, don't think "goody, and I get a free slap up pre-theatre meal courtesy of Mr & Mrs Merringue to be".

motherinferior · 27/03/2008 14:25

Actually I was sniggering childishly at (a) the word, which always sounds rude to me (b) the idea of my partner in one. I'm sure your partner looks great in one. He's probably not of what one might call traditional Bengali build .

Original poster
Saveme · 27/03/2008 14:26

"to have everything matching costs an extra 20k."

The thing is, it doesn't cost anywhere near that. If you are going to buy a bridesmaid dress, some flowers and hire suits with ties then it doesn't cost any more to make sure they match than it would do to get a load of things that didn't match.

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 27/03/2008 14:27

Fair play MI...

Carmenere · 27/03/2008 14:29

But that is my point Saveme, of course it doesn't cost that but it is sold as that iyswim. And I have actually seen bridezilla behaviour in normal women who you wouldn't expect it of.

morningpaper · 27/03/2008 14:29

I don't think anybody has really felt a glimmer of joy at the thought of free food since rationing ended in 1947

Swedes · 27/03/2008 14:30

I had never even considered napkins.

Dropdeadfred · 27/03/2008 14:31

Free beans on toast -no probably not
Free five course meal with wine/champagne - thank you very much!!!

EffiePerine · 27/03/2008 14:31

yes, but a bridesmaid dress costs far more than a ballgown. As for wedding dresses...

morningpaper · 27/03/2008 14:32

I agree that it is the "We are PAYING FOR THEM TO HAVE A GOOD TIME" mentality which is grating

Because you aren't AT ALL - you are paying for YOU to have a good time

I maen if someone said to me, "Look, I've got 50 quid to spend on you, would you like it spent on a sit-down meal with ivory napkins and some speeches about me PUBLICALLY CELEBRATING MY LOVE WITH MY PARTNER or " I'm afraid I wouldn't really chose the former

mrsshackleton · 27/03/2008 14:32

I'm not jealous
And actually I don't bitch that much about weddings - they're good fun on the whole
BUT I do resent the amount I'm expected to fork out. My bf is getting married in Italy (why? just because she feels like it) in May and it is costing about two grand in total to get the family there, stay in a villa for a week - we can't just go for the day because of various "events" organised which means taking dd1 out of nursery. Then there's the hen night, which for some reason is taking place right the other side of London from where she and I and nearly all her friends live (why again? who knows) which will mean a £50 taxi home as well as at least a £50 bill PLUS there's the present. And call me an old misery guts but I feel uneasy about pollution etc involved in hundreds of people flying to Spain when we could have caught the tube to somewhere in London.
I adore my best friend so there is no way I can opt out of this, she would never speak to me again and it means everything to her. But she simply cannot see that some of us might not want to spend so much time and/or money on this. She told me the other day she thought another mutual friend was depressed because she wasn't screaming with excitement at the idea of it all
I wanted to say "no love, she's depressed because she's a single working mother of two and she probably can't pay her council tax after what you're expecting her to fork out on the big day"
But I didn't. just said "mmm"
Anyway, my little rant over, if I am bitching it's because I can only vent on an anonymous forum or to dh. Sure it will be a lovely day in the end

Chequers · 27/03/2008 14:33

Message withdrawn

Swedes · 27/03/2008 14:33

I always have a better time at funerals. I think it's because there is no expectation - noone cares what you wear (just that you are there), noone cares what they eat, eand most importantly, a funeral makes you realise what is really important in life. I don't think napkins come into it.

morningpaper · 27/03/2008 14:34

ooh I do enjoy a nice funeral

motherinferior · 27/03/2008 14:35

Oh god yes, I am planning a fabulous funeral. Does that make me a Corpezilla?

Chequers · 27/03/2008 14:35

Message withdrawn

Chequers · 27/03/2008 14:35

Message withdrawn

motherinferior · 27/03/2008 14:36

It's going to be My Day. I have planned it in quite excruciating detail. I am still weighing up whether or not cremation to Ring of Fire is just too tasteless though.

motherinferior · 27/03/2008 14:36

It's going to be My Day. I have planned it in quite excruciating detail. I am still weighing up whether or not cremation to Ring of Fire is just too tasteless though.

EffiePerine · 27/03/2008 14:37

yes, agree that funeral guests happier en masse than wedding guests

no need for a gift either and minimal pastel shades

policywonk · 27/03/2008 14:39

mrss, she expects you to buy a gift as well??

A good friend of mine got married in Spain a while back, which was pretty pricey for the guests, but she had the good manners to scrap the hen night and the present obligations!

No19 · 27/03/2008 14:39

LOL Corpezilla I wonder could Tim Burton make something out of that?

mrsshackleton · 27/03/2008 14:40

Chequers I agree
But as I say what to do when it's your closest friend and she will never speak to you again if you don't go
Simply not an option
But she's been fretting since October abotu guests not showing up etc with seemingly no understanding that they might not be able to afford it
Just amazed how a sensitive, lovely, kind woman can morph into such a selfish creature over this one issue, my own wedding was six members of family in a registry office and lucnh out afterwards, spent the evening clearing up dd1's vomit from a tummy bug
So am surprised when someone so close to me can take such a completely different approach

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