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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that people who b*tch about other people's weddings are just sad, sad, sad..

171 replies

Saveme · 26/03/2008 20:25

..and probably jealous, and really should just shut the f*ck up.

Can you tell I'm bored of the wedding bitching that keeps popping up on here?

OP posts:
Carmenere · 27/03/2008 11:52

Fact- some of the posters on here have been described as bridezillas

Chequers · 27/03/2008 11:53

Message withdrawn

Carmenere · 27/03/2008 12:00

Well I am hypothesising as it is just a little bit odd to have a thread in defense of the horrible modern phenonomen that is the bridezilla.

Yes of course bitching about someones wedding is a naff and unkind thing to do, that goes without saying and I would be very suprised indeed if any of my friends or family did.

But obsessing and nit-picking and behaving like a spoit brat about what is essentially a celebration is trite and vacuous and as I said earlier even the most normal of women have a tendency towards slightly bridezilla behaviour.

Upwind · 27/03/2008 12:05

Carmenere, in real life I have never come accross a bridezilla. That hypothetical behaviour would be ridiculous and that is why it is a caricature.

I have come accross plenty of guestzillas though, both here and in real life & that seems to be what this thread is about! I suppose the guestzillas might also be bridezillas in their day.

Chequers · 27/03/2008 12:05

Message withdrawn

Chequers · 27/03/2008 12:07

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Saveme · 27/03/2008 12:09

Carmenere, are you married? If so, what was your wedding like? You can bet that even if it was just the two of you in the register office followed by dinner at the chip shop that someone would have accused you of being a selfish bitch, wanting it your own way, ergo: Bridezilla.

OP posts:
winniethewino · 27/03/2008 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

motherinferior · 27/03/2008 12:51

Actually if you gave me a one in three chance of something going tits-up I'd say oh bugger, that's not fabulous, is it.

And can I just say that should I consent to Mr Inferior's various proposals of marriage (which have ranged from the pragmatic ("well, we could always get married") to the would-be romantic (top tip - never whip out a diamond ring in the p*sssing rain in front of two kids while the Intended Intended is preoccupied with her leaking left welly-boot)) it would be rather in terms of 'better sign those papers in order to secure the widowed parents' allowance' not Oh My Soulmate Embarking On Life's Journey.

Chequers · 27/03/2008 12:54

Message withdrawn

motherinferior · 27/03/2008 12:57

Bitter about what? I am not wild about marriage or weddings. I find meringeuitude a bit much, really. I am not particularly sentimental about Lifelong Adoration, given that I'm nearly 45 and I've been about a bit.

Chequers · 27/03/2008 13:04

Message withdrawn

motherinferior · 27/03/2008 13:06

Well, what about the hand-wringing everyone does about Older Mothers, Pregnant Drinkers and various other things that have a cat in hell's chance of actually going wrong?

Chequers · 27/03/2008 13:08

Message withdrawn

motherinferior · 27/03/2008 13:10

I'm trying to point out that there are a lot of areas where a one in three chance would be considered really quite a high risk.

There are some good reasons for getting married. The Certainty of a Lifelong Soulmate is not perhaps the best reason, given the odds cited above.

Chequers · 27/03/2008 13:10

Message withdrawn

Chequers · 27/03/2008 13:11

Message withdrawn

motherinferior · 27/03/2008 13:13

I think it does give them a certain licence to stand sniggering on the sidelines when some people go a trifle over the top, yes. Actually. One does tend to wonder just how long the frills will stay on, so to speak.

Chequers · 27/03/2008 13:14

Message withdrawn

motherinferior · 27/03/2008 13:15

...although actually I don't think 'marriages fail'. I think that quite a lot of relationships finish over the course of time; and - often painfully - the people involved find that they either wish to or are unwillingly forced to move on. I don't like to think of it as 'failure' because that brands the people involved as failures.

Chequers · 27/03/2008 13:15

Message withdrawn

motherinferior · 27/03/2008 13:17

No of course not. The fact is that the usually think of those, rather too vividly, for themselves (I wish they wouldn't). I'm usually the person pointing out that the chance of getting pregnant when you're over 35 is not as low as you might think.

That has absolutely nothing to do with bridezillerama, It's Their Day and all that malarkey.

Original poster
Saveme · 27/03/2008 13:18

"I think it does give them a certain licence to stand sniggering on the sidelines"

Meee-ow!

I'm glad I don't know you in RL.

OP posts:
Anchovy · 27/03/2008 13:27

LOL, I have met MI in real life and I'm glad I have.

I bow down with respect to people who do not judge people's weddings. I, in my head and to DH, comment on - nay, judge - anything and everything. When I went to my cousin's wedding and the Matron of Honour was rather, erm, beefy and wearing a peach satin dress that would really only have suited a 4 year old and didn't cover her rather aggressive tattoo I didn't comment to other people there, obviously, but do I think it fodder for a mirthful conversation with DH, or my mum? - you bet!

Look, to be honest, I think asking your mate not to go to Riverdance (as well as saving her from herself!) does smack a bit of "I'm in control and you will do things the way I want it".

Fennel · 27/03/2008 13:28

It's 40% of current marriages predicted to fail, and the % is rising. I don't see that it's "bitter" to recognise the facts and therefore to be less than overwhelmed by rose-tinted fantasies at the thought of weddings.