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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that people who b*tch about other people's weddings are just sad, sad, sad..

171 replies

Saveme · 26/03/2008 20:25

..and probably jealous, and really should just shut the f*ck up.

Can you tell I'm bored of the wedding bitching that keeps popping up on here?

OP posts:
TheHedgeWitch · 27/03/2008 10:27

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motherinferior · 27/03/2008 10:37

Well, considering the fairly high statistical chance it'll all go tits-up I think a bit of perspective is quite salutary, actually.

Upwind · 27/03/2008 10:39

GUESTzilla I am stealing that.

I find it amusing how many posts here seem to think that the wedding is about family and family should come first and guests childcare/dietary/accomodation/travel needs are the responsibility of the Bride....

Balls. A wedding is a party to celebrate a couple's commitment. They can and should do it anyway they like & if it does not suit other people, tough. It is not a summons, guestzillas' attendance is not required, or often truly desired!

Sneering about the bride's dress, body, face, hair, venue, ceremony or groom is all just catty. And I know men do it too.

Chequers · 27/03/2008 10:40

Message withdrawn

motherinferior · 27/03/2008 10:47

I don't harp to them. I just grimace at the more nauseating manifestations of meringueitude.

TheHedgeWitch · 27/03/2008 10:48

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OrmIrian · 27/03/2008 10:52

But surely that's the problem hedgewitch - wedding should not be about the bride.

policywonk · 27/03/2008 10:52

Well, weddings that are about the bride, are about the bride. There are other weddings, which are about couples who love each other, or about couples who have lived together for a zillion years and have just realised that they might as well get married to avoid a load of crappy paperwork.

Not all weddings are just about the bride. Certainly, IME the weddings that are just about the bride tend not to be much fun for the guests.

OrmIrian · 27/03/2008 10:53

Now that's true pw! Let's all hang around for another hour while the photographer takes a zillion shots of the bride looking lovely in lots of different places, while we all freeze our t*ts off in the churchyard

Anchovy · 27/03/2008 11:09

LOL Wandering Trolley re dress. Let me share my experience with you.

Best Mate was getting married and really, really wanted some perspective on a dress she was looking at. (She is phenomonally indecisive and we there were a lot of "runners and riders" at this stage).

For some reason, the dress was in a showroom on a light industrial estate and could only be looked at between 10.30am and 11am on a Thursday morning. So I had to sneak off from work with some really crap excuse (the truth - needing to look at a possible wedding dress for your mate - not really being the best thing to say) and have a fairly lengthy taxi ride.

She was saying - "look, I'm really, really not sure about this dress, and if you don't think its right you must tell me as I really need an independent view. You've got to promise me to be honest".

The dress was fine - just not great. My mate is slim with a fine chest and it just did not do her the justice that another dress could. So realising diplomacy was called for, I said it was nice, no it was lovely, but maybe a different dress would be even more flattering...

She cried. She said "You always want to spoil things for me". She was off with me for quite some time. 11 Years later (we got over it!) she still will occasionally say "I know that you didn't like my wedding dress but I don't care becuase I loved it".

Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!

policywonk · 27/03/2008 11:12

I must say, I don't think I've ever experienced a full-on bridezilla - I've only ever read about them. My friends seem to have low-key weddings, and they've all been really enjoyable.

TheHedgeWitch · 27/03/2008 11:15

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SheherazadetheGoat · 27/03/2008 11:15

i love the idea that we should encourage brides to be trussed up and tethered in great white dresses like some sort of ceremonial sacrifice and anyone who points out the idiocacy of the whole thing is acting against the sisterhood. come on the whole great pavlova conspiracy is to reinforce the essential patriachal nature of the ceremony. bridezillas are crazed loons starving themselves into strapless dresses that make them look like vapid fools.

OrmIrian · 27/03/2008 11:16

The worst bridezilla I ever met was actually at someone else's wedding. She spent the entire time comparing the one we were at with hers a few weeks before. I could happily have shoved her head in the wedding cake at the end of the afternoon.

blueshoes · 27/03/2008 11:17

oh god, anchovy. Your Best Mate sounds like a head case. I assume she is still with the man she married seeing that she continues to talk about her wedding dress 11 years on.

Upwind · 27/03/2008 11:29

" By motherinferior on Thu 27-Mar-08 10:37:23
Well, considering the fairly high statistical chance it'll all go tits-up I think a bit of perspective is quite salutary, actually. "

I think that is a really mean-minded thing to say about a couple starting out. What are the statistics - a third of marriages fail? That just means that the vast majority last

Anchovy · 27/03/2008 11:32

LOL, Blueshoes. She is still happily married to the same person. And she is still my mate. She is great - its a good illustration of how the whole process can transform (relatively) sane people.

Original poster
Saveme · 27/03/2008 11:32

Surely, though, the point is that most brides aren't bridezillas but because a minority are, brides in general are some kind of easy target.

Sheheraz, why do you care if someone wants to truss themsleves up in white and starve themselves to get into a dress?

OP posts:
Carmenere · 27/03/2008 11:38

I am loving meringuetude

Chequers · 27/03/2008 11:40

Message withdrawn

No19 · 27/03/2008 11:42

IMO there is no excuse - nope, not even getting married or having a baby - which would be an adequate one for becoming self-obsessed, bossy and petulant, which is what bridezilla means to me.

I wouldn't in a million years sneer at the individual bits of a wedding - as in ooh what a nasty colour of charger they have chosen, or dearie me, this salmon's clearly farmed - but I don't like what some earlier post described as hysterical self-interest or some such.

Weddings should be about a couple's intentions and the start of a marriage, which has two people in it (unless you're royal, obv). They are not about the bride, no matter what the bride thinks.

PotPourri · 27/03/2008 11:46

Fact - weddings are about the couple
Fact - most couples become very self centred and want the day to be perfect
Fact - there are always problems with weddings (whether you hear about it or not - people are always put out by something or other)
Fact - weddings are a public declaration of your love, so therefore you are choosing to make it public property, so can't expect people not to comment on it
Fact - many brides do suffer from Bridezilla
Fact - Men do bitch about their mates weddings as it happens - when they are being unreasonable about something or self centred.
Fact - weddings are usually great fun for guests and couple alike, when it comes down to it
Fact - weddings are all about choices, and often those choices do not reflect everyone's personal taste. Given the previous point that it is being paraded in public by it's very nature.

Original poster
Saveme · 27/03/2008 11:49

Fact - some people are very rude and just cannot help but complain about other people's choices.

OP posts:
Original poster
Saveme · 27/03/2008 11:51

The only thing that I can remember getting slightly upset about when I was getting married is when one of my oldest and closest friends said that she was going to leave the wedding at 6.30PM as she had bought tickets for Riverdance as it was on in the area

Our ceremony wasn't until 3PM so she would have ended up leaving during the meal probably.

I asked her to reconsider and offered to buy the tickets. Does that make me a bridezilla, I'm curious to know?

OP posts:
PotPourri · 27/03/2008 11:51

I agree Saveme.