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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm absolutely livid and need advice - pulled over by police

146 replies

SableGrape · 14/03/2024 12:41

Just pulled over in the car with my partner (I have another thread about his shit - the idea today was he'd drop me off at work and go back to his own place, pending a more serious conversation about our relationship going forward.)

We get onto the duel carriageway and he was driving like a bit of a knob (speeding, cutting between lanes), which attracted the attention of a police car. Pulled him over and the car has no MOT, no tax and no insurance.

I am absolutely livid - I had no idea about any of it because on the surface it's really nice car (Astra, about three years old). The car has been seized.

I have a licence but don't drive currently (my car is SORN'D because I had an ankle op and haven't been able to drive) I'm worried that it's going to affect my insurance or license or something - I only passed about four years ago (lived in London before so had no need!)

Told partner to fuck off and that it's over so that's a good thing maybe but what do I do now? Do being in the car affect me in any way? I'm so angry I feel like I can't think straight!

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 14/03/2024 14:19

Glad you told him to fuck off OP

As you were not the driver or owner you haven’t done anything wrong, it’s all on him.

I would check things like credit score etc to make sure he hasn’t done anything fraudulent.

easylikeasundaymorn · 14/03/2024 14:20

cardibach · 14/03/2024 13:53

Ah, I see. Failure to read or comprehend.
I said

  • I wasn’t an expert
  • she should consult someone who was
  • she should complain if an expert said it was an unreasonable request
Edited

Yes you do seem to have some reading/memory issues

  • on one hand you disclaimed you weren't an expert (believe me I was never under the impression you were!) but at the same time said, definitively "It’s nothing to do with you and you shouldn’t have been asked for anything". Not "I think" or "I'm wondering whether" but very clear statements that the police officer was wrong and acted incorrectly.
  • you actually suggested contacting CAB who are by no means "experts" in the field of policing law, or in anything as their whole remit is general advice
  • again, why bother suggesting anything if you accept you're not an expert and, most significantly, OP herself didn't raise any concerns about what the police officer asked her or say she felt it was inappropriate in any way to be asked?

What was the point in unnecessarily stirring things up, stressing OP and potentially wasting time at CAB, or (if you've now decided you actually meant she should contact an "expert") paying for a solicitor for no reason?

Just accept that in this case you were wrong and your comment was unhelpful.

Fair enough you clearly hate the police but occasionally they are just doing their job!

Sorry to derail, OP, I won't comment further.

LakeTiticaca · 14/03/2024 14:24

No you won't be implicated in this tossers crime.
Well done in binning off said tosser

cherish123 · 14/03/2024 14:32

Why would your insurance/licence be affected? You weren't driving.
Have I read this correctly that you were the passenger and the driver was your boyfriend or girlfriend?

Platedshoes · 14/03/2024 14:33

My first thought was to wonder if the police officer was entitled to ask for the passenger's ID and what reason they might have for wanting it too.

I'm the most law abiding, rule following, authority respecting person you've ever met, with very little actual police involvement in my lifetime.

If I'm thinking like that the police really do have a reputational problem and officers jumping down the throats of anyone who wonders, as happened here, doesn't help with that.

Well done OP, take this as a fortunate set of circumstances that gave you the push to do what you needed to do.

coureur · 14/03/2024 14:33

cardibach · 14/03/2024 13:53

Ah, I see. Failure to read or comprehend.
I said

  • I wasn’t an expert
  • she should consult someone who was
  • she should complain if an expert said it was an unreasonable request
Edited

You don't need to be an expert to know that police officers, just like anyone else, are entitled to ask any question they want.

Picklestop · 14/03/2024 14:40

cardibach · 14/03/2024 12:52

I’m not an expert, but I can’t see that she was entitled to do that. Driving offences are the responsibility of the driver, offences around insurance and MoT are the responsibility of the owner. You are neither. It’s nothing to do with you and you shouldn’t have been asked for anything. Maybe ask at CAB if she was entitled to ask (I’m pretty sure not) then take it further if she wasn’t.

Why would OP bother? They just asked a question, they didn’t perform a strip search!

Lifebeganat50 · 14/03/2024 14:42

cardibach · 14/03/2024 12:52

I’m not an expert, but I can’t see that she was entitled to do that. Driving offences are the responsibility of the driver, offences around insurance and MoT are the responsibility of the owner. You are neither. It’s nothing to do with you and you shouldn’t have been asked for anything. Maybe ask at CAB if she was entitled to ask (I’m pretty sure not) then take it further if she wasn’t.

Yes she was, she was in the company of someone they had cause to pull over. Absolutely standard procedure

Menapausemum1974 · 14/03/2024 14:44

cardibach · 14/03/2024 12:52

I’m not an expert, but I can’t see that she was entitled to do that. Driving offences are the responsibility of the driver, offences around insurance and MoT are the responsibility of the owner. You are neither. It’s nothing to do with you and you shouldn’t have been asked for anything. Maybe ask at CAB if she was entitled to ask (I’m pretty sure not) then take it further if she wasn’t.

@cardibach incase he tries denying and letting it go to court? She would be the police’s witness

Galatine · 14/03/2024 14:48

Platedshoes · 14/03/2024 14:33

My first thought was to wonder if the police officer was entitled to ask for the passenger's ID and what reason they might have for wanting it too.

I'm the most law abiding, rule following, authority respecting person you've ever met, with very little actual police involvement in my lifetime.

If I'm thinking like that the police really do have a reputational problem and officers jumping down the throats of anyone who wonders, as happened here, doesn't help with that.

Well done OP, take this as a fortunate set of circumstances that gave you the push to do what you needed to do.

The OP although clearly blameless was traveling in a car involved in a number of offences. That give the police justification to question her in order to ascertain the extent of her involvement. The OP is not obliged to answer, but I would be in her interests to cooperate to confirm her innocence.

Geebray · 14/03/2024 14:51

cardibach · 14/03/2024 12:52

I’m not an expert, but I can’t see that she was entitled to do that. Driving offences are the responsibility of the driver, offences around insurance and MoT are the responsibility of the owner. You are neither. It’s nothing to do with you and you shouldn’t have been asked for anything. Maybe ask at CAB if she was entitled to ask (I’m pretty sure not) then take it further if she wasn’t.

I’m not an expert

Yes, that is clear

cardibach · 14/03/2024 14:53

SableGrape · 14/03/2024 14:11

She isn't bothered by being asked to show her ID.

Yes she is, because she’s bothered the info will be used against her I. Future when she wasn’t involved at all in the offences.

Geebray · 14/03/2024 14:53

cardibach · 14/03/2024 13:06

It’s terrible advice to ask whether the policewoman was entitled to take her details?

I didn't see you asking. Can you point that bit out?

TempleOfBloom · 14/03/2024 14:53

I am glad someone who drives like a knob, speeding and lane swapping dangerously, has been pulled over.

He was already risking lives, including yours, before the lack of insurance etc was discovered.

Saved you having the Relationship Discussion, at least.

OneMoreTime23 · 14/03/2024 14:55

SableGrape · 14/03/2024 12:48

Yes - the asked me for my ID and how we we related!

Tbh the police woman was lovely - think she could see I genuinely had no idea and it had all come as a big shock!

Fucking hell, still can't believe we've been driving around in a car with no mot! (I know tax and insurance are equally as important but anything could be wrong with the car!) 😞😞😞

A car can become unroadworthy leaving the garage after an MOT (eg a headlamp bulb goes). It’s not a guarantee that the car is roadworthy other than the day it was done.

The insurance is far more worrying.

cardibach · 14/03/2024 14:55

easylikeasundaymorn · 14/03/2024 14:20

Yes you do seem to have some reading/memory issues

  • on one hand you disclaimed you weren't an expert (believe me I was never under the impression you were!) but at the same time said, definitively "It’s nothing to do with you and you shouldn’t have been asked for anything". Not "I think" or "I'm wondering whether" but very clear statements that the police officer was wrong and acted incorrectly.
  • you actually suggested contacting CAB who are by no means "experts" in the field of policing law, or in anything as their whole remit is general advice
  • again, why bother suggesting anything if you accept you're not an expert and, most significantly, OP herself didn't raise any concerns about what the police officer asked her or say she felt it was inappropriate in any way to be asked?

What was the point in unnecessarily stirring things up, stressing OP and potentially wasting time at CAB, or (if you've now decided you actually meant she should contact an "expert") paying for a solicitor for no reason?

Just accept that in this case you were wrong and your comment was unhelpful.

Fair enough you clearly hate the police but occasionally they are just doing their job!

Sorry to derail, OP, I won't comment further.

Good, because you seem a bit aggressive constantly attacking someone who has clearly said a)they made their comments with no expert knowledge (saying that is, fyi, a clear indication that what you have said is an opinion which could be wrong, not a statement of fact. Comprehension basics) and b) has suggested getting further info from an expert before doing anything.
You seem lovely, in fact.

Geebray · 14/03/2024 14:56

cardibach · 14/03/2024 14:55

Good, because you seem a bit aggressive constantly attacking someone who has clearly said a)they made their comments with no expert knowledge (saying that is, fyi, a clear indication that what you have said is an opinion which could be wrong, not a statement of fact. Comprehension basics) and b) has suggested getting further info from an expert before doing anything.
You seem lovely, in fact.

Give it up, now. Let the OP have her thread back.

ntmdino · 14/03/2024 14:57

NeverDropYourMooncup · 14/03/2024 13:59

There is also the aspect that driving like a prick is a very common method of intimidating a partner as part of domestic abuse.

In addition to all of the above, there's also the fact that OP is a material witness to what he was doing and therefore it might be necessary to take a witness statement (not an interview under caution) to ascertain all of the facts, if they decide to take it further than the standard penalties.

IroningThrone · 14/03/2024 14:57

cardibach · 14/03/2024 14:53

Yes she is, because she’s bothered the info will be used against her I. Future when she wasn’t involved at all in the offences.

You've quoted and are replying to the OP @SableGrape

I would say they'd be best placed to say if they're bothered by it or not!

Geebray · 14/03/2024 14:57

OP, at least this has fast-forwarded you to LTB!!

cardibach · 14/03/2024 14:57

coureur · 14/03/2024 14:33

You don't need to be an expert to know that police officers, just like anyone else, are entitled to ask any question they want.

Yeah, it’s a bit different when a police officer, on duty, collecting info for a crime you aren’t connected to, asks you. Basic comprehension should have let you realise I wasn’t saying they couldn’t ask, but suggesting they weren’t entitled to have. Don’t be so literal.

cardibach · 14/03/2024 14:58

IroningThrone · 14/03/2024 14:57

You've quoted and are replying to the OP @SableGrape

I would say they'd be best placed to say if they're bothered by it or not!

I’d say I’m entitled to my opinion that she is bothered (whatever she says, oddly, in 3rd person) if she’s worried about the implications of it, but ok.

Riverlee · 14/03/2024 14:59

You were the passenger - you’re fine.

Title, however sounds line you’re anti-police, whilst you’re actually anti- partner.

SableGrape · 14/03/2024 14:59

@cardibach

Can you stop please? You've taken this thread way off course and it's been a shit enough day without you stirring arguments!

I wasn't at all bothered by being asked to show my ID. in fact I was happy to because it proved that I wasn't connected to the car in any way.

OP posts:
Moveoverdarlin · 14/03/2024 15:01

This is the kick up the arse you needed to kick him in to touch for good. If he contacts you I would just say ‘What sort of loser doesn’t have insurance, MOT and tax? And for the record the only reason the police stopped you was because you were driving like the arrogant twat that you are. In light of this morning’s events, it’s needless to say it’s over between us. Don’t contact me again. All the best for the trial! If you couldn’t afford your insurance before, you’ll really struggle now!