Did you take weeks off work when your 70-something parent was diagnosed with cancer?

[LindorDoubleChoc]

Just that. Oh, and if you did, were you paid and was your job kept open for your return?

@LindorDoubleChoc well whatever you allow for this person needs to be also allowed to any other employee who gets upset and worried about a family situation.

I think it would be fair enough to move then to unpaid leave or if they get signed off with stress then apply your existing sickness absence policy (which would normally be SSP after an initial paid period in most small businesses I know about - long term sickness benefits are generally only found in big organisations and the public sector)

My Dad was diagnosed with cancer and his health failed incredibly quickly. I work for DH in his business and there simply wasn't anyone to cover for me (quite niche sector) and I had to work but I was fortunate enough that I could leave if needed for medical appointments etc. I then saw Dad every afternoon/evening and as time went on, I was spending 6 hours a day with him on top of work. I have truly never been as exhausted in my entire life and when he died 5 months later, I fell into an utter pit of despair and misery but still had to work.

I'm still feeling a little resentful if I'm honest.

Found out today my 85 year old mum has cancer part way through my shift. Finished as normal and will see her at the weekend. She's fine and nothing I can do will change the diagnosis.

I think it's an interesting discussion as I have known a few child free people argue that as caring for an elderly parent is going to be their only.major caring responsibility they should get something akin to maternity leave or at least have some sort of legally defined leave associated with caring for parents. I don't necessarily agree with this but I think there should be thought about this particular in the work place.

I have known people driven nearly to nervous breakdowns when not allowed leave to give sustained care to an elderly or sick parent and the guilt leaves a major psychological impact and a lasting resentment of the workplace.

My mam died very suddenly and unexpectedly last Christmas.. I had 6 weeks off work. I'm a teacher and the mental load was not something I could've coped with at all. I was well looked after by my head and my colleagues who just showered me in love.

I think it's unfair to compare people's circumstances and response as nobody lived other peoples lives.

Let's all just be kind and compassionate.

I managed a team in a large organisation. I think a short spell of compassionate leave, say 2 weeks - to provide practical support, to organise support for the foreseeable future etc - and after that, if they are simply not coping, then they need to be signed off sick by their GP. It's similar to 'stress arising from bereavement' which affected one of my team.
If they are using the time to be physically with a family member many miles away, then does their role allow for them to do some work remotely, maybe on reduced hours? A colleague did this when she had a very sick child who spent a lot of time in hospital. It sure as hell wasn't easy for her, but somehow she managed, eg while her child was sleeping.
Tricky situation, OP.

Yes, my Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and given weeks to live. I have no other relatives in the UK and am an only child. My work was amazing (I am a teacher) and I took time off to be with him for all important appointments, while still going into work where I could and then stayed at his bed side in the last 3 weeks. I had time off when he passed away also but returned for a few days between then and his funeral as it helped being around people and my lovely class.