Did you take weeks off work when your 70-something parent was diagnosed with cancer?

[LindorDoubleChoc]

Just that. Oh, and if you did, were you paid and was your job kept open for your return?

Aren't you perfect polly.

Funnily enough, at 20, I hadn't planned for one of my parents to get seriously ill and die. I lived 10 minutes from them, but the love I had for my father was much greater than my love for a job.

I’ve not been in this situation….
but if it happens then I’d take off as much as I could, it would probably be unpaid and they would definitely hold my job for me.

my Dad was very ill last year and work were incredibly supportive.

my dad and my FIL both diagnosed Summer 22. And started treatments.

Nothing changed, we visited a bit more and chatted most days.

Dad did wonder if he could ask for an extension for his OU course and i said it was probably better than most of the reasons for extensions i had seen! but he was fine to finish his essays anyway.

If he had been worse i would have considered working from their home (if suitable) rather than my home i suppose.

Surely 70 year olds being diagnosed with some sort of cancer is very common now? and being treated.

DH did - 2 months off to be his Dad’s carer, 24/7. His work were amazing, fully supportive and fully paid.

Wouldn’t it be marvellous if we could celebrate when people do incredibly hard things out of love, instead of kicking them when they are down, and begrudging them a decent employer? Sheesh!

I worked from home (dm's home) for 5 months but I work for Network Rail who are very family oriented, we do hybrid working anyway so they were really good letting me WFH until DM passed away

I didn't, but my Dad was never told his cancer was life threatening. I was given a lot of flexibility to help him with his appointments though and I can well see a situation where I'd have asked GP for a certificate due to stress, if my employer had been less supportive.

Surely 70 year olds being diagnosed with some sort of cancer is very common now? and being treated.

Ohhhhhh, well that’s ok then. Everyone get back to work! They’re old. It doesn’t matter! 🙄🙄

No, I didn’t take any time off when mum was diagnosed with cancer in her 60s.

However, when my 60-something dad was also diagnosed with cancer a few months later, I did take time off and eventually had to leave my job as the situation became very complicated very quickly. Mum and dad both needed a lot of support and neither were in a position to care for the other.

No, i just mean plenty of people will get diagnosed and treated and be fine. Especially as we have an aging population.

giving people compassionate time off when someone is dying should happen. But for a diagnosis? seems unncessary for most people. and many would take the mickey.

Thankfully hasn’t happened to me, but the option to take the time off (probably paid) and have a job waiting for me would absolutely be there for me with my employer.

The boot licking and forelock tugging is strong in some isn't it! I had plenty of time off here and there during mum's diagnosis, treatment and death because my family mean more to me than making money for the company I work for. Thankfully they were really good about it, but I wouldn't have acted any differently had they not been.

I could apply for an unpaid career break, but it might or might not be granted.

Time off when a parent is dying or has passed away is justified, not sure about time off to give them support after a diagnosis.

I guess you can ask yourself: if you had an employee (nanny, cleaner, gardener…) would you pay them their full salary if they didn’t come to work for this reason. Not as clear cut as just saying ‘the employer should pay’.

I didn't take weeks off work when I was diagnosed, had surgery and post op treatment for cancer.

However, my mum died recently and I was allowed 10 days paid compassionate leave to spend in the hospice with her, those last days were invaluable. I'd have taken them unpaid or gone sick if necessary.

No. I took a few mornings and afternoons when she had radiotherapy. But I had both parents who supported each other. May have taken more time off if only one parent.

I didn’t take any time off. I didn’t feel any need to.

No but dad is much younger at 62 and lives 4 hours away from me. My brother and one of my other sisters did take time off when he was recovering to give my mum a break. Mum went with him to all appointments and she did take time off as leave or rearrange shifts. Thankfully her work were very supportive.

It's a different scenario if the parent in question is single or is relying on you for both emotional and physical support and you are willing and able to give it, live close enough too as well.

What do you mean by 'weeks'? 2 or 6 or 12?

Where I worked paid compassionate leave was for close relatives so parents and children, up to 5 days paid

Yes, but nearer the end, not at diagnosis. When we thought the end was nearer I took time off to help care for my parent. Several weeks paid and then I went off sick as I was getting questions about when I'd return. Full pay whilst sick. When parent passed, I was allowed to be off until the funeral, then told to take another week to collect myself and just relax after being full on arranging the funeral. My workplace was very caring and it was so appreciated.

No. I did have a day off to pick him up from the hospital after his operation though. He made a full recovery just has to have tests every so often.

My mum took some time off after his operation to look after him at home. If she hadn't been around I would have picked up the slack.

Didn't take any time off when my dad had a catastrophic stroke. I went to the hospital daily after work and after I had got the kids home and their dad got home from work.

This. OP if your post is just to be horrible to someone who is already suffering, maybe get a nicer hobby.

No, I didn't and don't but it could have been arranged. My employer would definitely make sure that we could come to an agreement.

Looking back, I should have taken some time off as a lot happened around mums diagnosis and I didn't look after myself.

Sorry for your loss 💐

I had a similar experience in my late 20s. It was truly awful. Some people have no clue!