Can I actually afford it?

[Thisisembarassing]

Another child. I have 2 already. I really want another but there’s been a lot of posts lately about this sort of thing and it’s got me second guessing my own financial security for another child whereas previously I thought it would be fine.

mortgage 4 bed- £1400 a month
council tax 160 a month
elec/ gas- £160 (very energy efficient house)
food £500 a month
car insurance £80 a month
neflix- can’t remember £16 a month?
internet and phones £60
childcare £600 (funding we’re lucky that the nursery is one of the cheapest in the area but one of the best, it’s attached to a school so they do the funding very fairly, so we actually benefit from the government funding quite heavily)

income £6k

lifestyle. We like 2 abroad hols a year (nothing really extravagant, but we deal hunt and get a free child place, we go for wherever we get a deal, normally spend 2.5k on the hols) and a UK city break (nothing fancy premier inn and do tourist stuff, Edinburgh flights are free through work, london etc) and a UK hols (haven, butlins etc)

we save £50 for each child a month and now we can get CB again will save that equally for the kids. There are progression opportunities at work. We both have good parental leaves 6 months FP and phased return to work at full pay and 30 days hols each.

we save for us too, probably around £700 a month.

we both get bonuses too, probably between 10/20% of salary depending on performance and pay rises above inflation.

space wise even though we’ve enough bedrooms we might struggle but could make it work.

we already have a 7 seater car.

its fine right, this works? Honestly before MN I’d have thought this is fine, but since joining not long ago, it’s actually got me worrying. I cant think about moving up yet job wise either, just took a promotion at work

^ there are other expenses on here that I’m clearing forgetting

Only you and your partner can make that decision. Trust your own judgement.

Are you currently taking term time holidays? Will you continue when they’re in school or not? If one child is under 2 and you’re getting a free child place then your not paying for any children at the moment but when they’re over 2, you could get one free child place but be paying for 2 children and this will be much more expensive.

So last year yes to both. Got a naice hols June til for £2k.

this year, last week of august managed to get a nice but not naice hols half board (not AI) 4* not 5 as we did year, free child place and £2.6k (transfer included) kid over 2 now and managed to get summer hols which I don’t think is too bad. Probably would shift our hols to half terms when they are in school and summer hols in a haven

True but on here, I’ve never felt so poor. I know 3 kids don’t seem popular on MN so that might be contributing to it but it’s made me doubt if I’m missing something

You’ll need to tighten belt somewhere but you’re financial position appears healthy.

I guess this is the thing, yeah dh can stop frittering money on takeaways and prioritise savings (which he should anyway tbh) but I guess I don’t want to give anything up…

in my mind we’ll move up the corporate ladder. I get itchy feet after a few years anyway

Your figures are similar to ours, we bring in £6.5k and mortgage will soon be £1600. I wouldn't entertain a 3rd for a second, a number of reasons admittedly but finances are the highest reason. Mine are pre teen/teen now and we have a childhood bucket list as long as our arms, there is so much I want to do with them, show them, provide for them, we absolutely would not have anywhere near the same quality of life with another child to provide for, and that's before you get to the driving/uni/life starting age.

Sorry I should add that's because of the lifestyle WE want, obviously you can afford a third, but only you know if you can afford a third and the lifestyle you and your family despite.

*desire

You have a very similar income and outgoings to us. We also have 2 children. I think you could afford a third but it would be at the expense of some savings and lifestyle, so it depends what you want to prioritise. Personally we’re drinking with two to ensure we can keep the same lifestyle and be able to properly save for our DC, but then we were never that sold on the idea of 3 DC.

Don’t forget the other end of parenting when parents have to fund Uni with income like yours (they will get minimum loan based on your income). 3 kids can be very costly, the baby years are costly but so are the teens / young adults

Holidays are more expensive. It's much harder to find a room for 3 children esp once they approach the teen years.

Would you be able to fund extra-curriculars for three at whatever level they want to do it? My DS wanted to sail on the national circuit and it was about £500 pcm all in, for years. If you read the music threads on here, that is also very expensive. Somebody was talking about a 12k flute!

Three sets of tutoring if they turn out to need it?

Three sets of 'the big school trip'?

Will you be able to support three through university?

Teenagers are much more expensive than little kids. Don't plan for whether you can afford three now, look forward 15 years.

I'm expecting a third in the summer.
Our income is half yours. My DH's income will go up, but not massively. Mine won't really. Our mortgage is very low but we need to move to a bigger house at some point, and we need a bigger car one day.

But we knew all this and decided to anyway. We always manage to save, we go on holidays when we can afford to
I buy most stuff secondhand. I work term time so childcare is not an issue in holidays. It will be fine. In your situation it also seems very much like it will be fine!

We have some savings for kids and will continue to...but we also have no intent on giving them a house deposit or paying for everything through uni. We both had part time jobs young and contributed and saved ourselves and want our children to do the same.

So tbh one child or 3 I’d say no to sailing for £500 a month, as my parents would’ve said no to me. I think 12k flute is ridiculous frankly. But if they were so musically inclined, I’ve actually inherited a huge amount of musical instruments, all in pristine condition (include piano, 3 violins, 1 cello, 1 guitar, a saxe and a flute)

hobbies, I think 2 extra curricular activities is sufficient especially with school.

university is a killer and I’m not sure going away to uni will be quite the ‘rite of passage’ that it once was (unless things dramatically shift in how university is funded) we have their investment savings that if they chose can be used to pay for an education away from home. But in most circumstances I’d be encouraging them to stay at home (we’re lucky that’s there’s some excellent universities very close to us- 45 mins max, redbrick and post 92, so there is ample choice close to home)

tutoring they will have as I’d want them to sit their 11+, some of this we could manage ourselves.

15 years from now, I’d hope dh would be pushing 100k (bonus inc) and myself around 75/80 (not too unreasonable considering where we are now)

Congratulations!

we just got a 5008, lovely car, fairly cheap as SUVs go and ample room for 3 kiddos

You can afford a third child but will likely have to cut down on holidays. We have 3 children. We found everything about going on holiday much much more expensive once a third was added in.

You're fine then- if you are not going to let them do high level extra-curriculars or leave home for university anyway, then I'm sure you can cover it.

Your food bill will go up as they get older.
I have 10 and 13 year old boys and they eat as much as adults now. Holidays will become more expensive even without another child, never mind with. Once the oldest becomes 12 it becomes increasingly difficult to find hotel rooms that will take four people never mind five. Clothes and shoes/trainers are so expensive as the 13 year old needs men’s stuff…and don’t get me started on the bloody football boots! Eating out used to be affordable when they had kids meals but now we are paying for four adult meals!

That is plenty.

Fundamentally they’ll be adults but I think it’s a sage lesson to learn on how money can only be spent once. There’s a lot of people of my peer group that went to universities far away to do Mickey Mouse degrees or degrees for the sake of it (myself in the latter, though luckily i did an academic subject) but does theology or film studies need to be studied at UCL (if they even offer it, I’m using it as an example of a london Uni) or could it be studied at university of Manchester (/ Bristol, Birmingham/ Leeds just being used as an example of a fine university but less expensive and closer to home as we live in one of those cities). I did a degree for the sake of it, i wasn’t given an option to do anything else. I just think now with feed and costs as they are, it’s prudent to think of all eventualities.

atm my kids just do swimming they are too young for anything else. But If they fancy an instrument sure they can learn but they aren’t getting the best of the best kit until it’s something they are serious about and dedicate time to, until they second hand and lessons at school will do just fine. How many of us, turned music lessons into a real passion and actually how many of us, did it for a bit and quit when we got too cool and couldn’t be bothered and didn’t want to practice.

You sound v comfortable and I wouldn’t hesitate. Maybe you’d have to cut down savings or holidays in the short term but you say you have good job prospects and sound v sensible. I’d go for it!

Everything you have added up will increase eventually, especially council tax,& the car insurance & you are already paying more for that doing it monthly