Can I actually afford it?

[Thisisembarassing]

Another child. I have 2 already. I really want another but there’s been a lot of posts lately about this sort of thing and it’s got me second guessing my own financial security for another child whereas previously I thought it would be fine.

mortgage 4 bed- £1400 a month
council tax 160 a month
elec/ gas- £160 (very energy efficient house)
food £500 a month
car insurance £80 a month
neflix- can’t remember £16 a month?
internet and phones £60
childcare £600 (funding we’re lucky that the nursery is one of the cheapest in the area but one of the best, it’s attached to a school so they do the funding very fairly, so we actually benefit from the government funding quite heavily)

income £6k

lifestyle. We like 2 abroad hols a year (nothing really extravagant, but we deal hunt and get a free child place, we go for wherever we get a deal, normally spend 2.5k on the hols) and a UK city break (nothing fancy premier inn and do tourist stuff, Edinburgh flights are free through work, london etc) and a UK hols (haven, butlins etc)

we save £50 for each child a month and now we can get CB again will save that equally for the kids. There are progression opportunities at work. We both have good parental leaves 6 months FP and phased return to work at full pay and 30 days hols each.

we save for us too, probably around £700 a month.

we both get bonuses too, probably between 10/20% of salary depending on performance and pay rises above inflation.

space wise even though we’ve enough bedrooms we might struggle but could make it work.

we already have a 7 seater car.

its fine right, this works? Honestly before MN I’d have thought this is fine, but since joining not long ago, it’s actually got me worrying. I cant think about moving up yet job wise either, just took a promotion at work

I was that only child and I wish my parents had given me a sibling rather than had me going to extra curriculars 4 nights a week/ fancy holidays etc.

Kids aren't as materialistic as parents.

Totally agree.

Yeah, obviously this is all anecdotal but I'm one of three and DH one of two and both of us couldn't necessarily have whatever we fancied all the time due to money, or even practical things like logistics when you have siblings. But as adults we are both close to our siblings and glad we have them rather than more stuff or even experiences. Obviously people need the basics but after that it is a balancing exercise and I suppose everyone has their own priorities.

I think that was kind of my point. You don’t mind them doing their swimming lessons and dancing. That’s affordable, it becomes more unaffordable if you notice one of them is a very talented swimmer and enjoys it. THEN the costs of encouraging them to pursue that become very high…

Kind of figure that’s a cross that bridge if/when you get to it though. As I’d imagine most don’t, even if they are good and swim for the school or even county or whatever get to that point of pursuing a sport THAT seriously

You may be surprised… none of mine are swimmers, but I gather there are a lot of hopefuls out there with parents investing significant time and money to support the passion. I personally don’t mind the time spent on elite sport as it is keeping them healthy and well out of trouble, but I’ve known several parents with very talented kids who don’t pursue it as it doesn’t fit with their broader work and life plans. Frankly, the time expenditure is worse than the monetary expenditure!

Crossing the bridge when you come to it is the point people are making in the thread. You will definitely limit your ability to follow some bridges if you have another child, but that’s probably not a critical factor for you. It is for others! I wouldn’t have had 4 if I knew this is the path I was going to travel down with the kids, but I am SO glad I had him. He is a joy! Does he limit some options, absolutely, but he is worth it to me!

You sound like you want 3 and you are happy with keeping lots of expenses like hobbies, uni, and travel more minimal. I think in your situation I’d go for it too.

Are all these extra curricular really necessary? I don’t remember doing heaps of stuff outside of school!

Baffled by some of the reasons people give that you couldn't afford it.
I don't know anyone who spends £50 a month on a phone for their child! I pay £9.99 for my own contract and that's fine.

Oh no the pool might be a bit cold on your May holiday in the canaries?! It's just ridiculous.

Ive worked with lots of kids and it soes them no favours giving them everything they want when they are a child/teenager. It doesnt teach them the values of hard work, saving and planning!

Make sure you have good life insurance. You have a good buffer and have calculated for the extra spends on a third child. But you already have the house, the car and are saving lots with potential for income to rise further. You would be absolutely fine.

We decided on a third when we felt we could emotionally and practically cope with a third, and also when I felt I could do that alone if I had to.

yeah it’s odd right, somethings I understand but the whole you might not be able to support your child into elite sports, I went to a very posh school with lots of teams of lots of different sports, and no one I know became an elite athlete. Yes joined the sports team which meant a jacket for away games but that was it. And the 12k flute malarkey.

and the holidays, blinking heck, it says late May early June the average temp is 27 but the ‘kids might be too cold’ - they aren’t for s splash pad in 24 degree weather here in peak summer but they’ll be too cold in antalya, practically artic there in May/June. Or they might need a room each as teens. Well as teens we were on hols and we shared the family room in a hotel.

You definitely seem set on 3, so go for it! I haven’t regretted it despite a few sacrifices. I’ve definitely had to make sacrifices around holidays (I was big into travel but with 4 kids, 6 week holidays are not on the cards cost or logistics wise!), but I’ve accepted that. It will also take longer to pay down the house than it would have if we could pour more $$ into it. Fortunately I like working as there is definitely no retirement on the cards at 65 or anything. Having number 4 has also meant I finished having children later than I personally would have preferred to. While I was still a pretty average age (35), I had my first at 25, so it felt a little like I was dragging things out.

We haven’t hit this stage yet, but braces is another one that is hugely costly where I am. It’s clear at least 2 will need them so far. That’s about 8-10k per child.

Having no family support around has also been much more challenging with 4, both logistics and cost wise, but we are muddling through.

Hopefully your journey with number 3 goes well!

Effectively, it will be around another £350 per month if you have another child. What's wrong with two?

Another mouth to feed is usually a drop in the ocean of most household expenses. You could have 4 before you might notice it. Maybe not holidays abroad though then.

No one can tell you if you can afford it or not as it entirely down to you on how much you spend, on first glance the necessities roof, food etc will be taken care of so it depends on lifestyle.

Don’t underestimate how much it adds to holidays if something that’s important to you, we have 4 between us and it does limit the hotels/holidays we can do because of accommodation. Also think ahead to cars/insurance/uni fees etc we have a good spread so that’s something you might consider

What’s wrong with 1?

why have 2 ?

You won’t go hungry, you won’t need to sell all of your possessions. Obviously you can afford it. Will you have to change your lifestyle? Yes, maybe 2 or 3 holidays instead of 4 🙄

If you have 2 foreign holidays a year and manage to save 800 pounds a month, yes you can afford it

Yep. Sorry op. You could have six and still be ‘fine’.

It sounds as if you can comfortably afford a 3rd dc. If that's what you want, go for it. I know of families with less income than you with 4 dc. However, I agree with a pp. The logistics of child hobbies can be a nightmare. I am starting to laothe Sunday mornings because my husband and I are taking the dc to different places for their hobbies. So we never get to spend a Sunday morning together. The same for Wednesday evenings. That kind of thing may get difficult.

When it comes to family I believe that more is more.

Giving your DC more siblings, potentially gives your DGC: more cousins, more aunties and more uncles.

IMO providing your DC with a big support network has more value than bankrolling multiple expensive hobbies.