To think this woman shouldn’t have interfered in the restaurant?

[Goldenrainbows]

We are away at the moment and went to eat last night in a family pub with an indoor play area which seemed to get my ds (3) a bit hyper. He’s normally really good in restaurants but was admittedly being really silly and swinging back on his chair and running off and not eating. I was doing my best to deal with it.

It really wasn’t helped by a woman sitting at the table behind us who kept interfering and shrieking ‘he’ll fall!’ every time he was swinging on his chair and making comments about him and us. I don’t think it was coming from a bad place but AIBU in thinking it really wasn’t appropriate? It was stressful and meant we couldn’t deal with DS properly as she was taking our attention. (By the way ds was far from the only badly behaved child there.)

You should have been parenting your child so that he wasn’t causing annoyance/worry to others just trying to enjoy a meal.🙄

This is why I’ll be avoiding restaurants for the next few years with my little one. Uber eats and Maccas is ok with me! It’s hard
fot children to act like adults when it’s late at night , or they over tired. Next time just settle for something like that.

And I'd tell you to keep your nose out. Not everyone will care what you think.

You are being unreasonable.

I’ve been there and it’s so hard but the only way to deal with this situation in a way that respects other diners is to leave. I’ve taken my child home on a few occasions - unfortunately it’s a down side of parenting!

How did it get so out of control it swinging and running off became a silly game?

dc repeatedly swinging on chair - foot or hand on chair/child to stop it recurring

dc repeatedly running off - one parent sits within grabbing distance and pays attention to the runner, even having hand resting on dc leg helps with the message to stay still

dc getting giddy - make it clear you want 3 chicken nuggets eaten before they will be allowed away to play and follow through with not allowing them to go. if they tantrum pick up and take out. At 3 sit them on your knee if absolutely necessary to contain them.

Two adults should be able to control one tiny person. What was your dhs input to this circus?

You were away from home and had to eat out. You choose a family place. He's 3.

Try to let it go. Honestly when he's a teen you'll laugh at the bad bits and remember the good bits.

We spent the first 3 years of my son's life doing a lot of travelling so had to eat out, out of necessity. Sometimes it went great, sometimes not so much. Once you're flustered it's hard to think what to do. I think you've had some good advice here and could maybe pick the best bits to hopefully remember if you're in that situation again.

I used to take my son off to the toilets for a little chat.

I can remember once being in a restaurant and children running around with swords. To be fair, I'd never seen anything like it. It was chaos. My middle one said that their mum should say. "You're in a restaurant, you can't run around in a restaurant. Sit down" so my little chat must have gone in!

I'm going to go against the grain here too and say she was being ridiculous. One, it's none of her business and two she's making things worse. She sounds like the sort of person who goes to a zoo and moans about the smell of animal shit.

Kid running about in a restaurant with hot food,trays of drinks on the go ....what could possibly go wrong?.

Which is exactly what I would expect you to say if you are the type to allow your child to potentially injure themselves at a restaurant.

There was a thread just yesterday about kids messing around in the supermarket and when the OP called them out on it, the mum/nan told her to mind her own business.

Some people just don’t care.

Exactly

You should have taken him out. If he had run into someone with a tray of food or hot drinks he could have been hurt. Though it was a family pub and children often do run around. Doesn't mean the parents should let them.

Jesus, it sounded like a ghastly family-friendly pub. Noisy kids are to be expected. She was seated near an indoor soft play FFS. Shrieking ‘he’ll fall!’ doesn’t help anything. 😂

this.

When I go out for a meal (often with our GC), I expect any kids to behave properly, and for the parents to ensure that they do. Our GC take colouring books/cards/comics/iPad or something to keep them occupied before and after the meal. The parents certainly wouldn't allow poor behaviour from any of them.

I would never say anything about a badly behaved child - it’s not my role and it’s really the parents call! However, if a child is in danger, I have a few times gently said to parent or intervened - I’ve saved a kid from
drowning (parents so appreciative), stopped a toddler running out in front of car (parents less appreciative but thanked me grumpily), found lost child and returned to parents (very grateful until I checked that they were actually his parents, then they felt somehow affronted). I work in a children’s hospital and it can feel like a balance between not interfering and saving a nasty injury. Toddlers swinging back on chairs is dangerous and you handle it by removing the dangerous item. She probably was really scared your child would hurt himself and maybe felt it was worth annoying you slightly to keep your kiddo safe.

Wow lots of self righteous posters here! Of course the woman was unreasonable. It's a pub with a children's play area, not a romantic restaurant. If you go to a pub with a family play area there will be children running about. Don't like that, go elsewhere. All I think when I see children messing around is thank goodness I don't have that now! The OP said she was trying to deal with it, we all know under 5s are devils. Next time take him to the car or feed him before he goes so it's less stressful for you, but don't worry about judgements from others. You're doing the best you can like all of us.

' being really silly and swinging back on his chair and running off and not eating.'

and you are shifting the blame on this other customer for having angled her chair - can you hear yourself !!!

Sounded like she was actually worried for your 3 year old. If mine did that, I'd quietly take them outside and tell them if they don't behave, we'd have to go home.

Op, You said yourself he was “Playing Up”.

What, waste the money they've paid for their meal at a child-friendly restaurant with a soft play area because her over-excited DS was annoying a child-free woman at the next table?

Yes, of course that's what she should have done - NOT!

tiredinoratia · Today 07:41

You were in a public place and your child is a member of the public. He was displaying developmentally appropriate behaviour and you were parenting him. She sounds like she was making a point by pretending to be concerned to make herself feel superior. A little patience and compassion and minding your own business unless you are actually being helpful is so important. Let it go. She is also a member of the public and as much as she didn't seem to be able to make concessions for you, you can for her. She was trying to shame you because of her own insecurities. Wish her well and move on secure in your own parenting choices and skills”

What a load of rubbish.

Seriously?! 🤦🏻‍♀️

What an appalling child, and mother for allowing such behaviour to continue.

You ask others opinion but then don’t accept it. Schools meet parents like you all the time, who don’t accept others’ views on their little darlings. It never ends well.

you have said ' i do accept we shouldn’t have taken DS, as I can’t control him at all so we reliant on his cooperation which obviously wasn’t happening. '

and

' I was trying, I really was. '

Try harder !

If your attention was diverted by her, is it truly that difficult to believe that her attention was diverted by him?

He’s normally really good in restaurants but was admittedly being really silly and swinging back on his chair and running off and not eating. I was doing my best to deal with it.

I have read most of your updates but I’m still not sure what you (or whoever else was with you. Potentially his father?) actually did do to deal with it…