To think this woman shouldn’t have interfered in the restaurant?

[Goldenrainbows]

We are away at the moment and went to eat last night in a family pub with an indoor play area which seemed to get my ds (3) a bit hyper. He’s normally really good in restaurants but was admittedly being really silly and swinging back on his chair and running off and not eating. I was doing my best to deal with it.

It really wasn’t helped by a woman sitting at the table behind us who kept interfering and shrieking ‘he’ll fall!’ every time he was swinging on his chair and making comments about him and us. I don’t think it was coming from a bad place but AIBU in thinking it really wasn’t appropriate? It was stressful and meant we couldn’t deal with DS properly as she was taking our attention. (By the way ds was far from the only badly behaved child there.)

And just to add it's definitely not limited to family - she would absolutely do as you have described to a stranger.

Lol

The play area could have confused him I guess . Kids can get a bit over excited when playing maybe he was finding it hard to switch from play mode to table mode. Then it's probably very temping for him to want to go and play.

I wasn't there and don't know what the woman on the other table was saying . But the rocking on the chair thing she was probably worried he might fall back and smash his head. It does not bother me if other people get involved as long as its in the right way. If it stops my child doing something they should not be /keeps them safe , helps me out . Then to me that's a good thing.

Yanbu. An adult in a restaurant really should not be shrieking and interfering with the other diners. Not only was she likely to be interrupting other people's dinner, but it was undoubtedly annoying to the children who were trying to enjoy the indoor play area. I don't know why so many posters are obsessed with you and your child's behavior, as he sounds like a normal three year old visiting an indoor play area.

YANBU at all OP, some posters have lemminged-up against you on this thread.
Kids need to learn, they are a valid part of society, you were dealing with it, just ignore cries of "you should have removed your child" and "ruining someone's dinner" etc.

The OP has said that other children as well as her own were behaving badly and spoiling the evening for others.

It is absolutely not the 3 year old's fault. Nobody is saying that.

The problem lies with people like the OP who decides that because 3 year olds do certain things because they're 3, that's OK.

It really isn't. And the other people in the restaurant aren't responsible for that. It lies fairly and squarely with parents like the OP.

I’m confused on what kind of atmosphere the OPs child was apparently ruining if it’s a restaurant that includes a children’s play area?! I doubt anyone is there for the peaceful fine dining experience.

I voted yanbu. Only because the carvery/play area type places are hell on earth, and anyone who chooses to eat in these places does so knowing it'll be full of unruly kids and unequipped 'parents'.

I'm with you on thinking she should have kept her comments to herself. It's extremely annoying. She should learn keep her anxieties to herself.

And in time you'l figure out how to deal with a hyper child in a public space. You live and learn with children all the time.

It's not a big deal. Ignore the perfect parents.

Also, those saying you should have left are wrong. It's a family place with an indoor play area for children. When you go in, expect to see children and their varying behaviours. It's not some posh restaurant.

Another POV, so suppose the child falls off the chair he’s swinging on and cracks his head open or cuts himself on head, both of which have happened with me and DB with dining room benches and tables but at our house and when we were a bit older, 6 onwards. Then there’s blood and screaming. Do you really want the situation to escalate to that? Or that your child is scalded by something the wait staff drop because the child is messing around. But yeah OP you do you.

It's interesting how in the first post the OP says the woman was saying the child would fall if he continued to swing on the chair, but as the thread has gone on, she's now saying the woman was squealing and others are saying she was shrieking

I know language changes over time but one would almost think the OP was trying to justify her non-parenting by blaming the other guests.

The play area (from what the OP says) was in a part of the restaurant away from the tables. They're quite common in family friendly restaurants. That doesn't mean the children present are supposed to (as the OP says) behave badly. (her words, not mine)

Sounds like he's not at a good developmental stage for eating in restaurants, no matter how child friendly. He sounds over-stimulated, hungry and tired. I think OP responded to that badly.

I'd have cut my losses and taken him home. Maybe the pub could have given you your meals to take home. Did you even ask?

No trust me you’ll take him again. You’re just narked you got called out this one time.

I would have just let him play between bites he can run back for a chip etc it's one night. If he doesn't eat it put it in a napkin and he can eat it on the drive home (always picked finger food when out for this reason).

DS is older now so we wouldn't sit in the play area but when we did what others kids did was never on my radar.

I'm half French. Have lived in France, Italy and parts of Asia and the UAE and this is just total bullshit. There are kids like this everywhere.

Oh, and the OP is in Europe 🙄

I’d have found that stressful the swinging as I’d have assumed the child would fall too. I wouldn’t have said anything though

A child running around a restaurant and swinging on a chair is definitely noticeable.

There is no way her comments distracted you, stopped you from parenting or made his behaviour worse.

She possibly was commenting and trying to be helpful, as she could see you were struggling to cope.

I assume you were the only adult there?

Else the best course of action would have been to take him outside and let him calm down and then tried to explain that he needs to eat before he can go and play.

Parenting a toddler is very challenging but you cannot blame this woman or anyone else for his behaviour.

You/your son were in the wrong here.

There would be no need for the woman to shriek if that honestly was her reaction.

Honestly, I very much doubt she shrieked. Shrieking is what you do when a small child runs out in front of a ten ton lorry doing 60 miles an hour.

What she probably did was speaking a tone that conveyed a certain level of frustration and concern. But the OP wants us to think the woman shrieked because it makes her sound unhinged and unreasonable.

I agree Shrieked is never used for men is it!

We're in bloody Europe.
Erm no we aren't!!

To be fair to the OP this is from her first post, so I'd say she's been consistent in her language
woman sitting at the table behind us who kept interfering and shrieking ‘he’ll fall!’ every time he was swinging on his chair

What continent do you think the UK is part of then?

I cannot believe the replies you’re getting OP! Yes your child shouldn’t have been swinging on his chair and may well have been running around but that woman was dining at a family pub with a play area! She was unreasonable to expect a peaceful dining experience at such establishment!

*We're in bloody Europe.
Erm no we aren't!!

So pray tell which continent we’re part of then?

Yabu, one of you should have positioned close to ds so you could hold his chair (I have previously sat with my foot holding a chair down to prevent swinging) and close enough to physically prevent ds getting off his chair, as well as firmly telling him how to behave.