To be shocked and embarrassed by my friends behaviour today

[bagpuss90]

Bumped into a friend today at the local Tesco’s . She was in a check out queue , I stopped to chat . There was a woman with a screaming baby in a sling and a screaming toddler in a trolley . The poor woman looked totally stressed out , she started to put her shopping on the check out conveyer belt (I’m not sure she realised my friend was in the queue) my friend snapped at her , told her she’d jumped the queue. The woman asked if my friend minded if she went first as she’d got two screaming children. My friend told her no and added she might have considered it if she hadn’t pushed in front . She then told the woman’s screaming toddler to shut up ! I might add my friend doesn't have kids and it would seem not much empathy either .

I was going to say she sounds thoughtless and self absorbed… until she told the toddler to shut up. If she actually used those words, I would be crossing her off my friendship list for good. What a nasty person.

Your friend on the face of it appears to be really selfish.

Is she generally a selfish person?

God what a nasty person! Was she having a particularly bad day and this was totally out of character?

I dont think I could be friends with someone like that tbh

Sometimes a stern word from someone else can work wonders on a toddler ime!!

Did you say anything at the time to your friend? Or anything supportive to the woman with the children?

Yes I'd be embarrassed to be seen to have a friend like that too.

So a random stranger telling an upset toddler to shut up is ok then?

I was on the 'meh' path until you said she told the toddler to shut up - that was outlandish.

I think I'd message and tell her how shocked you were and check if everything's ok. If it's out of character, she might have been having a shitty morning.

No excuse but sometimes we're all arseholes without meaning it.

Kindness goes a long way. I would have let the poor woman go and scan her shopping so she could vet out ASAP for everyone's sake. It's hard work. However I have kids so understand that stressful feeling and the battle etc. Your friend is childless so1, doesn't understand and 2 doesn't sound like she has much empathy. You don't need to have kids to have empathy

She could have politely said I'm really sorry but I need to be somewhere and got on with her own shopping.

Uhm no. Telling anyone to shut up is never okay, particularly a small child who is doing what small children do.

If a stranger ever gave my children a stern word, they would get one back from me! Bloody cheek. Try offering encouragement to the mum instead - a "you're doing a great job" means so much, especially when toddlers are being little 💩

I hope you challenged her about her behaviour

To be honest, whilst I would have let her go first, I wouldn’t really appreciate somebody assuming they can push in front of me just because they have children. But telling a toddler to shut up is of course not on.

She didn't push in. Op said she didn't realise the selfish friend was in the queue at first and then asked if she would mind if she went ahead.

KaftasCastle
if f do us. She is known for belong outspoken

Did she park in a P&C parking space as well?

EnjoyingTheSilence
i rolled my eyes and gave the woman a sympathetic look. I actually wish I’d done more . I was gob smacked tbh

🤣

The poor woman probably thought you were rolling your eyes at her.

GalileoHumpkins
I’m afraid it did happen .

Untethered
Hope not !

This friend is known for being outspoken and she has upset quite a few people over the years .