To get DD a drum kit?!

[LittleDrummerGirrl]

Not really an AIBU as we've already got it but after thoughts on considerate usage really!

DD is 10 and has been learning drums for 18m and has been keen for her own kit for yonks, but I have always said no: We live in a terrace, don't have the space, need to prove you're committed (time wise) etc.

Well almost on impulse I have bought her one for her birthday 🤷🏼‍♀️😂 reasons being she never commits to anything and we've been impressed at both that and her ongoing progress, plus have moved house (still in a terrace but now has her own room)... It just seemed right.

However, we are Still in a terrace and have only just moved in so I really don't want to piss the neighbours off too much! 😂

Suggestions from those who have experience both sides appreciated! She hasn't been given it yet but gets it later today (tomorrow at the latest)...

Name changed as quite outing if you know us (or are our new neighbours!!) 😁

Return it for an electronic one with headphones?

There is no considerate usage of a drum kit in a terraced house.

We got our DS a drum kit at about the same age, and the neighbours when round within about 5 minutes to complain! It really can be unbelievably loud. You can buy drum pads that muffle the sound enough not to annoy the neighbours but still leaves enough sound so that you know what you're playing.

It needs to be in a shed. If you are keeping it, speak to the neighbours. If they aren't in of a day, then make use of the school holidays.

My exh teaches drums. They really are loud. You can't have them in anything other than a detached house. Get an electronic set

https://www.gear4music.com/Drums-and-Percussion/Drum-Kit-Silencing-Pad-Set-by-Gear4music-Rock-Sizes/620?origin=product-ads&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiArrCvBhCNARIsAOkAGcVNu_smtAJE-vArI7ETxhfZJAsRKLEeGDZF2N1NQogXybSzi7YPRYMaAtCxEALw_wcB

Come on now, how can you possibly consider this when you live in a terrace? You would make your neighbour's lives a misery.

I agree with this. Even if you put it in a shed, or get pads it is going to disturb your neighbours.

Can you swap it for an electronic one with headphones?

Prawncow · Today 12:44

There is no considerate usage of a drum kit in a terraced house.

Totally agree.

Tbh I would be livid if my neighbour bought a drum set and I was attached to them. I would exchange it for one with headphones. What time frame would you propose is acceptable?

You can get noiseless drum kits now apparently. DS was looking into learning recently and I wasn’t keen due to the noise level and a musician told me you can get noiseless ones (I don’t know exactly what they are called) - perhaps ask her instructor?

As a WFH neighbour to drum kit parents - please no.

Electronic one with headphones only in a terraced house.

Just why??,

I love heavy metal and I love my music loud, but even I’d go insane living next door to someone drumming. Completely out the question unless you’re in a detached house!

Oh dear. It's a second hand one so can't return it 🤷🏼‍♀️ plus how the hell does anyone ever learn an instrument then as I've heard the same thing said on here about violin, trumpet, etc! I was expecting "just half an hour a day at sensible time" etc tbh!?

We do have a garage conversion which might be a better location than her room...? 🤔

@AuntiesWoodenLeg I'll have a look at that if anyone has tried it successfully?!

Wow yeah you’re mad not to get an electric set 😂 sorry OP, it’s unanimous!

Ahh OP I feel for you as you have already bought it and I can understand the excitement about giving this to her based on your explanation.

My DC have a small kit and I wasn't too worried as we have some neighbours with a son who plays.
We live in a detached house with a biggish garden in a village with no neighbours too close and I was ASTOUNDED by how loud it is when they play and I am in the garden!

I know you have already bought it but it might be easier to back peddle now than buy it and realise she can't play without causing neighbour issues !

I have to say from bitter experience that even in detached/out in the garage/shed it can be very intrusive indeed to your neighbours. Just not appropriate in a residential area.

Well, you can't feign ignorance when all of your neighbours complain and hate living next to you.

Just read this and thought perhaps our neighbours do mind !

It's interesting as a few of DCs friends are also learning drums and have drum sets at home.
I love hearing DS play now he is getting better due to his lessons .

We live in a detached house but with neighbours close by, and within 5 minutes it was obvious that there wasn't any possible way that we could keep the drum kit. Like PPs I was astonished by how loud it was.

I would lose the plot if I was your neighbour op. I think it’s lovely you want your daughter to be able to learn and practise at home but sadly it’s just not possible to be considerate with drums. I would re sell and buy an electric kit. I would say the same in a terraced house about many instruments but drums has to be the worst

DH has an electric one and even that is pretty loud. He only played for half an hour a day at set times.

You can't have a real one in a terraced house unless you really hate your neighbours!

If you do decide to keep them I would say 30 minutes is far too long. I would say no more than 10 or maybe 15 minutes a day, at a specific time planned to cause least impact to neighbours wfh, shift work, with young children etc.