To get DD a drum kit?!

[LittleDrummerGirrl]

Not really an AIBU as we've already got it but after thoughts on considerate usage really!

DD is 10 and has been learning drums for 18m and has been keen for her own kit for yonks, but I have always said no: We live in a terrace, don't have the space, need to prove you're committed (time wise) etc.

Well almost on impulse I have bought her one for her birthday 🤷🏼‍♀️😂 reasons being she never commits to anything and we've been impressed at both that and her ongoing progress, plus have moved house (still in a terrace but now has her own room)... It just seemed right.

However, we are Still in a terrace and have only just moved in so I really don't want to piss the neighbours off too much! 😂

Suggestions from those who have experience both sides appreciated! She hasn't been given it yet but gets it later today (tomorrow at the latest)...

Name changed as quite outing if you know us (or are our new neighbours!!) 😁

Practice pads on the drums.

Put a duvet in the bass drum.
Put cushions in the other drums.

Sit the whole kit on a soundproofing mat like this:

www.amazon.co.uk/drum-rug/s?k=drum+rug

My son is a drummer.

Still ridiculous in a terraced house.

No it isn't, my dd has been drumming for 2 years in my terraced house and the neighbours are absolutely fine because we are respectful about it.

I started my thread saying It wasn't really an aibu 🤷🏼‍♀️ this section just gets the traffic, as we all know! I wanted suggestions and recommendations for considerate usage and I am pleased to see some really good ideas so Job done tbh.

Aibu is also renowned for attracting a hefty dose of venom and vitriol along with that traffic so Also completely expected 😂

If she really gets into it I will consider it worthwhile spending the 100s required to buy an electronic set, I promise 😁

I'll order some silencer pads and sticks now 😊

Thank you for all the helpful tips! 🥁🥁

It can depend on how Dd plays.
A neighbour had a DS who was having lessons and practiced most days and we barely heard him as he played so well. Every so often we heard the drum noise - it was the brother of DS having a go - that was annoying.
Chat with neighbour to arrange acceptable times and days.

Thank you also for the most recent, supportive spate of posts!! 🙏🏼

We will Definitely be considerate 😊

@LittleDrummerGirrl we have these mutes and they're really effective. Make sure you get them for cymbals/hi-hat too.

A shed is significantly worse in terms of soundproofing by the way.

We tried the drums in quite a few rooms in our house as my ExH was working from home at the time.

Sheds are not soundproofed and the noise travels incredibly well.

It was not a solution.

Your garage conversion with curtains/draft excluders around the door is probably the best bet.

My son is a drummer (had lessons for 2 years). We live in a large semi but he has only got a full electronic version.

If we had a sound proofed garage I would have bought him a “real” kit but I don’t want to piss off my neighbours. He would love a real kit but understands.

He’s still bloody loud on his kit but at least it’s just us that had to hear the repetitive tapping.

Also to add, I hope your DD sticks with it - both my children play an instrument (as did I) and music is definitely good for the soul!

Hi,

Yes, we did this, although not this exact set. But it worked - the neighbours who complained initially said it was fine once we started using them. They were reasonably understanding though, given that their daughter played several instruments (badly) which could be heard by all three houses in the building, and the people in the other house had one DC playing the bagpipes and the other playing snare drum. It was very much a live-and-let-live environment!

Ask the neighbours for the best time to practice

I got a drum kit for Christmas but got an electronic one even though we live in a detached house!! My husband was more worried about him being annoyed by the noise, not the neighbours!

If it's an acoustic one you've bought, then it's better in the bedroom than the garage as the garage won't be insulated so will be far louder for people outside.

There are also 2 of us that play trumpet and all the kids play piano. The neighbours have never complained although we do use practice mutes at night.

Just set some ground rules for an acoustic set. No practice before 9am. No practice after 8pm. Limit practice to 30 minutes at a time then at least a 2 hour break. Make sure the windows are shut when practicing.

Ds1 plays the drums, we live in a detached and he still has to make do with electric at home, he's a damn good musician, but the neighbours don't need to hear him.

The sound doesn't carry to much in his piano, but guitars are with headphones if he's not on the acoustic.

If mightily be 15/30 minutes now, but my eldest is 15, he's probably on instruments 2-3 hours a day, it escalates!

Former drummer here..

Ditto practice pads, soundproofing, pillows in kick drum and asking the neighbours what time of day would be least inconvenient, or what times to avoid.

I had my kit set up with the kick pushed up hard against an internal wall for further soundproofing, that really deadened the thud quite significantly (and two pillows stuffed in it!).

Whilst electric kits have come on an enormous way, learning on a real kit is still preferable, its easy to transfer to electric later on if necessary, its harder to develop proper sticking technique if you never feel the real bounce of properly tensioned skins.

For all those shouting 'in the shed' - sheds are never sound proofed enough and never warm or stable enough in temp. Fluctuating temps and humidity are AWFUL for an acoustic kit (will totally fuck it in time) and dreadful for electrics too!

If I was your neighbour I would have a full on nervous breakdown. Take the fucking thing back.

My initial response was hell no as you gave no context on the as and when. But 15 minutes might not get so bad with the appropriate soundproofing as long as it's agreeable times with both sides. For example one might say before 5 as they will be at work but the other side might WFH and be on calls. Even a compromise for every other day maybe? I think it depends on how your neighbours are

A nervous breakdown over a kid practising drums (with pads on to lessen the noise)for 15 mins a day? 😕 dramatic much?

You've recently moved and already you're THAT neighbour. For their sake, I hope it's a short-lived musical infatuation.

My practice rule: YOU have to be in the room at all times. Then at least you're suffering as much as the neighbours.

Seriously. Get an electric.

Sorry to derail OPs thread but would be interested to know what sort of kit you would recommend for a kid learning as we might look at electric if he sticks with it longer term as he would already like a full sized set.
He is almost 11 if relevant.

OP: AIBU?
MN: YES!!!
OP: Oh well, I’m carrying on anyway

Might not be 15 minutes. My son is a drummer and he practises at least an hour a day!

My son is a drummer and we live in a semi detached house. There is no way on God's green earth we would have bought a non electric one. He practises for an hour or so a day, so he'd be driving us mad, let alone the neighbours. Unless you have a soundproofed room/shed, you are being utterly unreasonable..and selfish.

Agree! My DS(24) plays electric guitar (self taught) and it’s definitely his happy place. He plays heavy metal and is phenomenal. None of his mates play and I’d love him to get into a band.

It in a terrace.

My daughter had a drum kit but we lived with the nearest neighbour over a mile away!

Even with sound proofing a room, noise and vibrations can still be heard close by.