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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask if you take your child to adult get togethers if they haven’t been specifically invited?

146 replies

WinegumsPlease · 09/03/2024 11:02

If your friends are having a get together in a restaurant or bar in the evening, or similar event, would you take your toddler or pre schooler along if they hadn’t been specifically invited?

TIA

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 09/03/2024 11:02

No

Octavia64 · 09/03/2024 11:03

No

Groovee · 09/03/2024 11:03

No.

Helfs · 09/03/2024 11:03

No. Of course not

ohdamnitjanet · 09/03/2024 11:03

Of course not.

user1478299641 · 09/03/2024 11:03

No

thistimelastweek · 09/03/2024 11:03

Hell no.

Letsgocamping67 · 09/03/2024 11:04

No

DelurkingAJ · 09/03/2024 11:04

No. In my group though I’d have said ‘can’t come as have DS1’. It happened frequently as DH works Saturdays. Often the response was ‘we assumed you were bringing him!’.

WhatNoRaisins · 09/03/2024 11:04

No, very strange thing to do.

AuntieMarys · 09/03/2024 11:05

No.

Universalsnail · 09/03/2024 11:05

Absolutely not.

If it was a day meet up and I had no childcare I would ask if they minded, but my friends are pretty child friendly so I'm fairly sure if a day time thing it would be fine. Never an evening thing though.

Herdinggoats · 09/03/2024 11:05

I don’t have kids. I’d be pissed of if one brought theirs along to an adults night out

SanFranBear · 09/03/2024 11:06

No!

Crochetablanket · 09/03/2024 11:06

No.
Baby / Toddler / preschooler should be in bed anyway.

theduchessofspork · 09/03/2024 11:07

No!

Presume this is a reverse?

Catapultaway · 09/03/2024 11:09

This has reverse written all over it.
What was the actual event, what time and where?
A bar in the evening... of course not.

Noshowlomo · 09/03/2024 11:11

Noooo

LightSwerve · 09/03/2024 11:12

Probably not but it does depend, on the friends, the place and the reason.

Original poster
WinegumsPlease · 09/03/2024 11:12

It’s not a reverse. I don’t think it could be a reverse considering how little information I posted.

I just wanted to know what the norm was because a parent friend thinks that the status quo is that the child is invited unless it’s specified that children aren’t allowed. I see it the opposite way. That children aren’t invited unless specifically invited.

OP posts:
CremeEggThief · 09/03/2024 11:14

As if! Incredibly thoughtless and cheeky thing to do! No fucking way!

Catapultaway · 09/03/2024 11:16

WinegumsPlease · 09/03/2024 11:12

It’s not a reverse. I don’t think it could be a reverse considering how little information I posted.

I just wanted to know what the norm was because a parent friend thinks that the status quo is that the child is invited unless it’s specified that children aren’t allowed. I see it the opposite way. That children aren’t invited unless specifically invited.

Well then it depends. A 5pm quick bite in a family restaurant/ bar... maybe. An 8pm meet up in a bar for drinks / night out of course not.

WonderingWanda · 09/03/2024 11:27

Generally day time meet ups with friends with I would assume kids invited but not evenings. Other friends I'd probably text and say 'I've got the kids that day, is that ok' and if in any doubt I would text "kids or no kids" because sometimes my Mum friends like to get together child free too. Evenings I would never assume unless it was family.

idontlikealdi · 09/03/2024 11:35

Depends if it's friends with or without children, time of meet up, age of kids.

WandaWonder · 09/03/2024 11:36

No

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