To not want to share my inheritance equaly

[Anonymouslyasking]

My half brother who I love dearly wants me to share my inheritance with him, he says my mum told him she would share it half half. That's not what she told me. Mum had passed away so we can't clarify now.
He received an inheritance from his mum that he didn't share.

I'm happy to give him a share but I feel half is too much. I don't want yo fall out with him but I feel it's unfair. AIBU?

If you give this man anything at all he will think 'fantastic, I found a seam of gold, now I can access the motherlode'

She had apparently been discussing it for years. Even though she hadn’t received the inheritance she could had written a will leaving half of everything to her SS in anticipation of her inheritance.
Unless the inheritance was large I don’t see how she could have promised it to anyone as it may have all disappeared in care costs etc.

Your mum left that money to you. If she wanted to leave him something she would've changed her will. Tell him to go do one he's playing on your heart strings and good will. He didn't share his mums money with you.

How much is it roughly ? You can edit your post after saying if you are worried.

There are still too many things to consider. Plenty of 'step' siblings consider themselves as close as blood siblings so if your relationship with your brother is like that then I can see it would feel strange to not give him anything.

The 25% is beyond generous. I wouldn't give him any of it. Mainly as this is his main concern right now. Getting money from you. He could of ensured his half that he claims she said he should have (I think he is lying) was written down if he cared that much.

You don't owe him anything and you are not responsible for the dysfunctional upbringing you both had. You are allowed to have this inheritance from your gran (as you said this inheritance came from gran originally).

It's a very large amount and 25% will be life changing for him

25% is extremely generous

I'm another in the "tell him to fuck off" camp.
Your mum may have been his stepmother, but the money was never hers, it was her parents'. Her parents were completely unrelated to him.

He has no claim legally or morally - especially after not only having ignored her for 20 years, but also not sharing his inheritance with you.

There you are then.

She didn't inherit anything from your gran because she predeceased her, so her promise to him is irrelevant.

I typed my post before there was an update thanks. Whereas your comment added lots of value to the conversation

If you are a family unit like he claims he should of shared his inheritance with you alas he did not so I wouldn't share yours with him

But this money is from your grandparents. He was not in a "family unit" with your grandparents. You are being emotionally manipulated and shouldn't give him anything

This is at odds with how many Mumsnet threads talk about step,children. Mumsnet seems to particularly dislike evil stepmothers who exclude stepgrandchildren.

How does he know how much there is ?

can you just lie to him?

And that’s why he’s making a fuss. If a half share was £500 he wouldn’t be making the point about the “family unit”.
Wake up and smell the coffee OP.

People with integrity don't blackmail, let alone family. You already 'lost' him as a brother as if you give him what he wants you will set a precedent and if you don't he will cut you off. Either way you have lost him, he does not respect you.

Okay, so let's play with this hypothetical situation then.

Your half brother says your mum told him that when she inherited, she would give him half.

He's sort of claiming there was a verbal contract right?

Except she never inherited. You did. So there's no agreement, no contract, and you're not legally or morally obligated to give him anything.

In this situation, point out he never gave you any of his inheritance. When he bleats 'but your mum agreed!' - mention the above. See what he says. I'd be very curious to know.

Also, he sounds very dogged in his focus on your money. you should know that even if you try and pacify him with 'some' money, his eye is on the prize of half. it won't make him go away just palming him off with anything less than that. He wants half.

You're going to have to dig deep within yourself and say no to anything. Let him threaten you with legal action, and I guarantee you once he starts making calls to solicitors they will put him straight. Very straight.

I can't bear CFs like this. Please don't give him anything.

Yes sorry I didn't present the facts properly, it's because Im still trying to get round to it.

I guess the issue is that i have is that I have very little family left, I love him dearly and I'm scared he won't be in my life if I don't give in.

What did he do with the other money he inherited? Did he waste it?

Do you actually think he should have the money? He has no right to ask you know, and that would be the clincher for me. It's crass to ask.

Oh op, I am sorry you are feeling pressured here. You know he is not entitled to anything at all, so it’s your call if, IF, you give him anything. I think the pressure he’s putting on about saying your mum said something (which likely is a lie, and I am sure you know that), is very unfair. As I say, it’s your call. If it was me, I dont think I would give him anything as your mums will is the only document you have that guarantees her wishes….

Of course she told him, I'm guessing it's conveniently come to life now she's passed away.

Your Mum told you what she wanted to happen with her estate you should abide by her wishes

@Anonymouslyasking
It's a very large amount and 25% will be life changing for him

What about 20% Do you see him as a brother or not? You say you love him dearly. Posters are ignoring this very Important detail.

Does he have kids? If so are you close to them? Do you have kids?

He's sees that and is taking you for a fool.

He will disappear anyway, once you give him any money.

He feels it's unfair and that because we're a family unit we should share equally

Didn't feel that when he inherited from his side, did he? Didn't offer you a penny, but wants loads of yours? OP don't be a pushover. Please.

Well if he can’t graciously accept 25%, he’s not worth knowing. Tell him you’ve taken advice and are going to offer him 10% or 15% s a gesture of goodwill and that’s your final offer.

I think any member of my family who disappeared out of my life because I wouldn't hand over half of an inheritance they have no right to, would be no loss.

Do you think he loves you dearly? It doesn't sound like he does.