To not want to share my inheritance equaly

[Anonymouslyasking]

My half brother who I love dearly wants me to share my inheritance with him, he says my mum told him she would share it half half. That's not what she told me. Mum had passed away so we can't clarify now.
He received an inheritance from his mum that he didn't share.

I'm happy to give him a share but I feel half is too much. I don't want yo fall out with him but I feel it's unfair. AIBU?

I don't understand why you would even be considering this given he didn't share his inheritance with you?!?!

Tell him you'll give him exactly the same amount he shared with you. 0

can you imagine the fallout if I started telling you that all women 'feel' something as heinous?

Er, you just did. Did the Earth shatter? No.

Men have felt entiled to women's assets for millenia. Women weren't even allowed to inherit until 1882!

These attitudes by men are going to take a few more centuries to shift.

He's trying to play you like you're a slot machine OP, he's pressing the guilt button and hoping cash will come pouring out🤑

The post is misleading. Your mum never had the money, if she had the money then she could have done what she wanted. You've inherited the money from your grandparents that's the end of it, unless he had a special relationship with them and they treated him like a grandchild then of course it's ridiculous that he'd expect some and you just leave it at that.

Tbh I know he has no legal claim to it, it's more what the moral thing to do. I love him, I know it was hard for him growing up mainly because of my mum but also because we had a very dysfunctional family. I feel that I owe him some of it, I'm just taken aback he wants half

OP I know you love your brother but he's a CF. Didn't see or speak to your dear departed mother for 20 years despite her raising him. Isn't satisfied with 25%. No amount you give him will every be enough quite frankly.
You think giving him some will preserve your relationship, it won't. he'll still find a way to blame you.

It's YOUR grandparents' money. Intended to go to you. Not to him. Please honour their memories and do the right thing, keep it and tell him to duck off.

That's the moral thing to do and you don't owe him any of it.

Especially as his own mum's left him an inheritance already! Why is it fair he inherits from 3 people and you only 2.

so she had over 20 years to put what she supposedly promised him in writing.

Surely you realize that chances are that the reason it was never put down is that after 20 years of no contact and a broken relationship she didnt want to keep that supposed promise?

Don't give him anything. This was your gran's money and her wishes x

Exactly! As if that's on a par with a man wanting his step-mum's grandparents' estate.

I said you should give him some money but I take it back . If he didn't speak to her for 20 years and thinks 25% isn't enough then give him nothing. If he wants to challenge your GP's will let him try, I can't see him getting anywhere legally. You say he's your dearly loved DB but he's happy to see you go without.

I think that the bothers inheritance from his Mum is completely irrelevant.

DO NOT GIVE HIM A BEAN!

The fact that he thinks he’s entitled to a penny of your mum’s money is outrageous, that he wants half is on another level!

Especially after not sharing his inheritance with you!

You’re going to fall out anyway as he wouldn’t accept what you’ve already offered and it sounds like you aren’t close so cut your losses now and tell him to jog on.

You don’t need a brother like that in your life.

He feels it's unfair and that because we're a family unit we should share equally

So were your mum and his dad still together at the time of your mums death?

Ex-banker here - dealt with a lot of money/family deaths etc. my thoughts are - you’re feeling a bit guilty because you were left this specifically in the will. However, I suspect there’s good reason for that. Also, if you ‘give him some’ - he won’t be happy with whatever you give and will keep coming back asking/begging/annoying you for more. IMHO you go with the wishes of the will.

The half brother was promised nothing, there was no promise, he made it up because he thinks you're gullible and will swallow anything.

Your mother would have left a Will if she meant what she said.
You don't need to leave your half brother anything.

If you wish to leave him 25%, that is very generous.
If he wants more I would sever ties altogether.

Yes

I think part of the equation that would help here is how much are we talking? Personally I would not be handing over a 1/4 (especially considering the lack of relationship they had).

But your grandmother is not his family??

He only shares your money, not his?

I think you should get as far away from this leech as possible. Don’t be used like this.

Nothing like a family death to bring out the money grabbing relatives & generally, it's not who you thought it would be.

Your SB has claimed something but has no proof & which goes against what your mother told you. SB is negotiating for a bigger share, despite you having made a generous offer to him & it's all based purely on what he's claimed. That should tell you all you need to know.

I would think long & hard about what your grandmother would have wanted & base your decision on that.

If he really felt you should share equally he would have given you some money from his mum. Ask him he didn’t given you should have been sharing. Theres an important lesson in this for him.

The simple fact is that it was never your Mum's money. She died before she inherited anything, so even if she did promise him half 20 odd years ago, there's nothing of hers to share.

Did he have a good relationship with your grandparents? Because if they wanted to share it between you, presumably they could have made a will saying that, and they didn't.

Thank you for clarifying.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your Mum and Gran,what a difficult time you've had. Since your Gran's inheritance never went to your Mum as she passed first, it is absolutely nothing to do with your brother and you shouldn't give him any unless you really feel you want to but certainly not out of feeling pressured into it. If he's a nice person he won't treat you any differently either way, if not you'll see his true colours and it's his loss if he choses to cut contact. Your Gran would have surely wanted the money she had to go to you, her granddaughter (you may pass it onto your own children one day) and not someone who is no relation to her. Imagine you asking for a cut of his inheritance when his mum died, you wouldn't.

But this money is from your grandparents. He was not in a "family unit" with your grandparents. You are being emotionally manipulated and shouldn't give him anything.

He doesn't "love you dearly". He sees you as a cashcow and is harassing you for money when you've lost your mother and grandparent(s) in the space of a few months. Those aren't the actions of someone who "loves you dearly".