To not want to share my inheritance equaly

[Anonymouslyasking]

My half brother who I love dearly wants me to share my inheritance with him, he says my mum told him she would share it half half. That's not what she told me. Mum had passed away so we can't clarify now.
He received an inheritance from his mum that he didn't share.

I'm happy to give him a share but I feel half is too much. I don't want yo fall out with him but I feel it's unfair. AIBU?

Well the inheritance is from your grandparents so nothing to do with your mum.

Made up thread. OP can’t remember if her dad is dead or alive. 😅

But she didn’t inherit did she? She died before she inherited so there’s nothing to leave. You inherited from your GPs. I’m not sure where your DM or DF come into it tbh, or your half-brother’s DM for that matter. If I have read your posts correctly, you have an inheritance from your GP and your half-brother, who is unrelated to them, is asking for half. He’s a chancer, give him a few quid if you really want to, but I think it’s much better, and clearer, to give him nothing. Do not acknowledge that he has any sort of claim.

If it helps at all, when my stepfather died I inherited 1/10th of his estate (plus a load of academic textbooks that were so outdated as to be no use to man nor beast!). this was as set out in his will and I think as advised by his solicitor. I did not have a relationship with him for about 15 years prior to his death but he did bring me up in part. He was a violent alcoholic.

My half-brother inherited 80% of the estate ( the remaining 10% going to my deceased brother’s children).

My half brother and I were happy with that and it seemed fair. I would not expect him to share in my own father’s estate with whom he has no relationship.

No my dad is not dead but now mentally impaired. We recently had to put all his affair in order and had to deal with the debts.

I realise the chronology is a bit difficult to understand as I'm still trying to get my head around the situation myself. My mum passed away a few months ago and my gran more recently.
The inheritance has been a subject of discussion for years by my mum and dad etc

How, if they didn’t speak for 20 years?

I don’t know whether you’re changing details to preserve anonymity, but things are not adding up here.

Your dad was a waster or is a waster?

Fuck me, I'm even more confused.... who died? Who left the inheritance? Who is still alive?

Sorry OP, I've no idea what's going on.....

YANBU. If she wanted to leave him 50% she should have written a Will.

My late father spent years saying that one sibling’s child would have everything. Not a problem for me as her husband left and lied about his income so my sister was destitute with their child. Father didn’t update his Will so another sibling got everything.

I think everyone should make a Will, even if they think there’s nothing to leave.

So you have 2 leeches op? Cut them off.

It's entirely possible your grandparents always planned to leave their money to you, if your mum was a waster.

You don't owe him anything.

Grief makes us all vulnerable and questioning. So it's understandable that you're finding it difficult and confusing.

Sorry for your loss.

@Anonymouslyasking

"i want to give him some but I feel half is a lot"

Please don't just absolutely don't.

He is a cheeky chancer that crawled out of the woodwork at the prospect of a handout he has no entitlement to and which would go against the wishes of the will.

The only reason you are thinking of giving him something is that you are a kind person that is being bullied into it.

So if you are remotely even considering giving him anything then just ask yourself if the situation was the other way around then would he give you anything?

I think the best answer is the first response from @coxesorangepippin

Thanks for sharing your story seems similar to mine in many way. I want him to have something for sure I was thinking 25% but he's not satisfied with that

Give him all of it. That makes about as much sense as anything else 🤣

No offence but your mums opinion doesn't count for anything. It was not her money to promise.

The OP says she loves her brother dearly. Everyone is assuming he is a scamming rogue but he is clearly someone she values and I close to. Maybe it's not unreasonable for him to hope that's she would give him something.

If people had died in a different order (with the OPs Mum and Grand parents dying before the OPs Dad) then he could have ended up with half the money.

I’m assuming that both your grandparents are now dead? Do you have any brothers or sisters who are either still alive, or are also dead?

He can expect the Moon but if he's not in the will he get's sweet FA.

Cheeky bastard.

What’s in the Will?

Do not give this gaslighting grifter a penny!

Honestly he lying he just wants cash, ask him to share his mothers legacy

If this is true. Your half brother is trying it on. He deserves nothing. If I were you and feeling generous I might give him eg £5/£10K just so he’d go away and be quiet.

If you do give him half or significant amount I can almost certainly guarantee you’ll regret it and he’ll still gripe about how he should’ve got more.

I’ve got half siblings who I treated to eg nice jewellery when I inherited a sizeable amount but I never told them the amount so they never knew. Didn’t stop my half sister angling for me to buy the matching earrings to a birthstone necklace I got her for her 18th birthday. I was going to get them for her 21st but after the blatant ask from her thought nope. We’re not speaking now and haven’t for the past 10 years or so so definitely don’t regret anything.

The chronology isn’t difficult to understand. Your DM pre-deceased your DGM and therefore you inherited. Your DM didn’t inherit anything because she was already dead. Whatever she may or may not have promised her stepson in relation to this money is irrelevant because she was already dead.

Whatever you do, unless it’s what he feels he’s entitled to will leave some bad feeling so I’d do what you feel is fair and reflects the relationships of those involved. 25% seems an awful lot.

Without wishing to sound like the revolting Fanny Dashwood from Sense and Sensibility, maybe money isn’t the answer as whatever you give him it won’t heal what he perceives to be the damaged caused by your mum. Perhaps something sentimental that reflects a shared interest?

Just tell him 25% is your final offer and too generous imo anyway. You inherited from your Gran, not your mum. If your mum was alive to have inherited it, she could have spent most of and left nothing to pass on.

I would think if your half brother were to take legal advice, he would be told it would be pointless taking it any further.

Unless it was a very large sum, you should reduce your offer to 20%.