Page 33 | To not want to share my inheritance equaly

semideponent · 09/03/2024 21:58

Pipsquiggle · 09/03/2024 20:30

OP should not give any of the money to her HB.
He is a complete chancer and manipulator.

OP's mum was not married to HB's father.
OP's mum did not make a will, she could have done.
HB had no relationship with OP's mum for 20 years.
OP has 4DC. HB has no DC
The money is from OP's GM NOT her mother
HB didn't give OP any money when his DM died, yet expects OP to do exactly this.

He is being a complete CF.
OP is feeling guilty and being guilt tripped for things she is absolutely not responsible for. She needs to reframe why she feels she needs to give him money - legally and morally she doesn't owe him anything.

Exactly. OP, don't give in to misplaced guilt

MrsGtotheMax · 09/03/2024 22:05

hettie · 08/03/2024 13:04

How about saying "that's not what she told me, that's not what's written in the will and that's not the precedent you set with your mum's inheritance" ?

This xx

Slatkater · 09/03/2024 22:08

He does not deserve any of the money. He is bullying you, the implication that if you don’t give him half there will no longer a relationship between you two. He doesn’t care about you just the money. When you have given him half he will be back for more. Don’t prioritise him over you children. They deserve the money, not him.

protectthesmallones · 09/03/2024 22:17

This is strange. This was your grandparents money, it came to you, it didn't ever go to your mum! How can you leave him any of it? It was never your mum's money to give away and she couldn't leave what wasn't hers to someone else.

Zero. Your grandparents left you this not your mum.

Vive42 · 09/03/2024 22:32

If there is no will (which is what you've said) and your DM died intestate then there's no certainty that you will inherit everything.

Your DF with inherit the lot, no? Well up to £322K approx?

This is as clear as mud.

i don't know what intestacy rules do for half-siblings - as he's not a blood relative then possibly no claim but the only thing that's certain is that none of this is certain.

You need a solicitor asap.

https://www.hughjames.com/app/uploads/2023/07/Intestacy-rules-flow-chart.pdf

All this agonising and it's not certain at all what the set up is.

https://www.hughjames.com/app/uploads/2023/07/Intestacy-rules-flow-chart.pdf

Fairmum · 09/03/2024 22:35

This. Follow your mums wishes even if it’s a default.

Volpini · 09/03/2024 22:39

Vive42 · 09/03/2024 22:32

If there is no will (which is what you've said) and your DM died intestate then there's no certainty that you will inherit everything.

Your DF with inherit the lot, no? Well up to £322K approx?

This is as clear as mud.

i don't know what intestacy rules do for half-siblings - as he's not a blood relative then possibly no claim but the only thing that's certain is that none of this is certain.

You need a solicitor asap.

https://www.hughjames.com/app/uploads/2023/07/Intestacy-rules-flow-chart.pdf

All this agonising and it's not certain at all what the set up is.

It’s totally clear (if you’ve read the whole thread.)

Woopzies · 09/03/2024 22:39

If you end up giving him 25% and he's still not happy - i.e., it isn't enough to 'keep the peace' - you will have wasted your money. Don't even go there, please.

TriesNotToBeCynical · 09/03/2024 22:48

Isinglass20 · 09/03/2024 21:50

If you do give your half brother some of DGMs inheritance you are in fact opening the door that you agree to his entitlement and he will use that if he decides to pursue it legally.
If you do give him some you should take legal advice to ensure he has no further call or right to this money and depending on how much give him you will have to declare it to HMRC

That's a very important point. A solicitor needs to be involved and he needs to sign a legally binding document saying he won't come back for more. Not that you should be giving him anything, but if you do.

moonjump · 09/03/2024 22:51

No it wasn't even a question but his mum didn't raise me

Well your gran didn't raise him either, and that's who the money came from so he can whistle.

Stephenra · 09/03/2024 22:52

I see a red flag or two here. Your half-brother requesting this shows great disrespect for your mother, you, and the will, which is a legal document.

My spider sense tingled when I saw 'who I love dearly.' I'm getting the impression that the half-sib knows this and is taking advantage of these feelings. I can see the signs of attachment issues and toxic dependency. I see signs of behaviour patterns that likely come from early childhood involving poor perception of boundaries, behaviour which your half-sib is demonstrating now with this outrageous request. I suggest you crack open a browswer and search up on these terms. You should see several things that resonate.

And given this situation I'm guessing this is hardly the first time he's demonstrated behaviour similar to this. It's time for you to re-evaluate your relationship with him and start working on some pretty stern boundaries.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 09/03/2024 22:54

Do not give him anything as he did not share his inheritance. Do not feel guilty or pressured and if he keeps on just cut him out of your life as he sounds very grabby.

WhistPie · 09/03/2024 22:58

tittybumbum · 09/03/2024 20:42

Where are your priorities, your brother or your dc.

Personally if he's going to be awful with anything less than 50% I'd give him nothing.

Tell him you are putting 75% into trust funds for your dc she will share the remaining 25% with him so 12.5%

That way you are both getting the same amount.

You can do what you want but no way would I be limiting what my dc got for my materialistic brother who only values me for money.

OP is making it perfectly clear by her words on here that she puts her half brother ahead of her children.

WhistPie · 09/03/2024 23:00

Vive42 · 09/03/2024 22:32

If there is no will (which is what you've said) and your DM died intestate then there's no certainty that you will inherit everything.

Your DF with inherit the lot, no? Well up to £322K approx?

This is as clear as mud.

i don't know what intestacy rules do for half-siblings - as he's not a blood relative then possibly no claim but the only thing that's certain is that none of this is certain.

You need a solicitor asap.

https://www.hughjames.com/app/uploads/2023/07/Intestacy-rules-flow-chart.pdf

All this agonising and it's not certain at all what the set up is.

Try reading all of the OP's posts before giving your totally incorrect twopennorth

saraclara · 09/03/2024 23:19

Vive42 · 09/03/2024 22:32

If there is no will (which is what you've said) and your DM died intestate then there's no certainty that you will inherit everything.

Your DF with inherit the lot, no? Well up to £322K approx?

This is as clear as mud.

i don't know what intestacy rules do for half-siblings - as he's not a blood relative then possibly no claim but the only thing that's certain is that none of this is certain.

You need a solicitor asap.

https://www.hughjames.com/app/uploads/2023/07/Intestacy-rules-flow-chart.pdf

All this agonising and it's not certain at all what the set up is.

WTAF are you on about? Have you actually read the thread? Or even just the OP 's posts? She's explained it all perfectly clearly and you couldn't be more wrong.

RadFs · 09/03/2024 23:22

Anonymouslyasking · 08/03/2024 15:21

I have 4,he has none

Show quote history

You have 4 children and you want to give him 25%. That means he will get more
than you and your children put together. 10% would be being generous. Take it or leave it.

Cornishclio · 09/03/2024 23:26

The money was not your mums though. It came from your maternal Gran so what would she think about giving your half brother on your dads side money when there is no biological ties whatsoever? If you give him anything it will be as a goodwill gesture as a gift from you not as an acknowledgement that he is owed any of the inheritance. He sounds grabby so I would not give him anything.

MissBPotter · 09/03/2024 23:29

There is no reason to share this whatsoever.
please don’t as he will waste the money and he’s already had one inheritance! You have 4 kids and you’re going to prioritize a manipulative man in his mid 30s over them? ‘Just wanted to let you know that I have decided that I will not be donating any of my inheritance to you. I’m sure you can understand that I have four children who have to take priority. This is my final decision and I would prefer not to discuss it further.’

Andthereyougo · 09/03/2024 23:31

Anonymouslyasking · 08/03/2024 13:06

There wasn't a will but I'm the sole beneficiary as I'm the only descendant.
Apparently she told him she would leave him half.

And only he has told you this I suppose?

Outthedoor24 · 09/03/2024 23:33

Op I've read your posts again give him half of what your mum left you, she was apparently her will - half of nothing is nothing. And actually that's more than he gave you from his inheritance.

Keep your Grans inheritance for your children. 4 children are going to need all the help they can get in this country to get on the housing ladder.

You cannot buy family, you might not see him for dust regardless of what you give him. If he cares about you he'll understand that you need the security for your kids.

saraclara · 09/03/2024 23:33

The maternal grandmother can choose where the money goes. She did. The OP

Actually she didn't @tittybumbum . The grandmother left it to her daughter. But as the daughter has recently died intestate, the money passed to OP.

We can only speculate as to what GM would have chosen had there been time to change her will to reflect her daughter's death. But as she didn't see her daughter's step son as a grandson, I'm guessing she would have left all of it, or at least most of it, to OP.

chrisfromcardiff · 09/03/2024 23:40

Anonymouslyasking · 08/03/2024 13:00

My half brother who I love dearly wants me to share my inheritance with him, he says my mum told him she would share it half half. That's not what she told me. Mum had passed away so we can't clarify now.
He received an inheritance from his mum that he didn't share.

I'm happy to give him a share but I feel half is too much. I don't want yo fall out with him but I feel it's unfair. AIBU?

Don't share it at all. If your mom wanted him to have any of her money, she would have left some to him. Really. Don't.

chrisfromcardiff · 09/03/2024 23:40

Anonymouslyasking · 08/03/2024 13:06

There wasn't a will but I'm the sole beneficiary as I'm the only descendant.
Apparently she told him she would leave him half.

So HE says. Baloney

RAPSMom · 09/03/2024 23:47

saraclara · 09/03/2024 23:33

The maternal grandmother can choose where the money goes. She did. The OP

Actually she didn't @tittybumbum . The grandmother left it to her daughter. But as the daughter has recently died intestate, the money passed to OP.

We can only speculate as to what GM would have chosen had there been time to change her will to reflect her daughter's death. But as she didn't see her daughter's step son as a grandson, I'm guessing she would have left all of it, or at least most of it, to OP.

The Grandmother died and left NO WILL.... No will, it goes to the next blood relative... as OP stated her Mother died prior to OP's Grandmother so it will only go to her...Now if the OP had a sibling as in a full brother, not half or step, then it would have been split between all the siblings...

Whalesong · 09/03/2024 23:52

Don't give him as much as 25%!!! You will lose the relationship with him anyway, and he has no claim on that money since it belonged to your grandmother who was nothing to him. By all means, make him a generous cash donation of a few thousands, but that's it! Your primary duty is to your own 4 children. And even if it's a large amount, once you hopefully use some of it to give yourself some more security (and maybe treat yourself to a few holidays even if nothing flashy) and it's split 4 ways at some point in the future, it will go less far than you may think now. I think your gran would have wanted you to help your own children to get onto the housing ladder, and who knows, enable their children to go to private secondary school, or help with their studies etc etc.