To not want to share my inheritance equaly

[Anonymouslyasking]

My half brother who I love dearly wants me to share my inheritance with him, he says my mum told him she would share it half half. That's not what she told me. Mum had passed away so we can't clarify now.
He received an inheritance from his mum that he didn't share.

I'm happy to give him a share but I feel half is too much. I don't want yo fall out with him but I feel it's unfair. AIBU?

And the OP clarified it, the entire inheritance is directly from her grandmother (who is neither a blood relative to the step brother, nor did she have any emotional relationship with him) to the OP. Ops mother passed away before her own mother/OPs granny so any conversation OPs mum had about money she herself hadn't even inherited is irrelevant - if she ever even said such a thing

Give the grasping twat nothing.

Sounds like emotional blackmail Op to be honest.

You in berries from your grandparents not your parents.

Do you not believe any of them were capable of writing a will if they wanted to? You're choosing to undermine their wishes quite a lot here.

RTFT-it’s neither her mothers or fathers money. Her father is still alive for a start. Her mother died before her grandmother. This inheritance is direct from OPs maternal grandmother and is nothing to do with the half brother

You would be pretty dumb to give him a penny. Your grandparents would not have wanted that either

Then her telling him she'd leave him half, when she didn't tell you that, sounds like wishful thinking. Would your grandmother have wanted him to inherit? I'd give him the bare minimum, if anything. It's kind of you to want to share, but if he didn't share his mum's money with you, he's beyond cheeky asking, imo.

I agree with this!!! He isn't your mother's child. If my stepmam passed I wouldn't be pissed if nothing was left to me, rather it went to her kids and her 2 grand children

Your grandparents money was never intended for him. He’s lucky that you’re willing to take in the care for your father, as I assume he’s not contributing to that. I’d be annoyed if I left money to my grandchild and her children/my great grandchildren, and it got given to her half brother that was of no real relation to me. Had I wanted that, I’d have adjusted my will.

The money is for you and your 4 children. Even if he thinks he has a claim to it, 25% is too much if you were to divide it between all of you. Why would he get a bigger share than your children. Have you spoken to your children about it - what do they think? I’d just say I’d already divided it amongst them.

I know! A fool and her money are easily parted.

Give him your house and first born too, don’t forget your car….

You are not being unreasonable, When dad passes that’s when inheritance is shared. If your mom intended any inheritance to go to him it should have been stated in a will. Verbal agreements are not legally binding and was quite possibly said to keep the peace.

This is really understandable.
im so sorry for the rough ride you have had.
i think the point is, how would you feel if you have him the money and then - for whatever reason - your relationship still breaks down.
i understand his unfinished business with your mum and how that can become fixated on that being rectified with cash.
unfortunately though, that can’t be put right because your mum has passed, it sounds, without this being put right. Money can compensate, but it won’t fix that. YOU can’t fox that.
your brother may not be a cf, but he does sound like he isn’t being resonances because of all his difficult feelings towards your mother. Money isn’t going to fix this. And dare I say it, money isn’t going to protect you from the possibility of this relationship breaking down. If anything, money only complicates complicated relationships. I can’t make assumptions about your brother but the biggest flags here to me are: you feel vulnerable in this relationship and are recently bereaved. Your brother is resolute about you giving him a set amount of money. That is a bit worrying to me.

There is no rush to make any decisions/ give away any money/ do anything at all.
My advice is to not do anything AT ALL - maybe get some legal advice/ engage in some therapy before making any decision at all.
wishing you all the best and so sorry for your losses

OP
You are so kind and generous by thinking of giving him 25%
I would honestly give him 10%
And keep the 15% separate
If he's irresponsible with money
He's gunna come and ask you to pay for holidays and this and that anyway, so then
It's not fair on you and your children
Tbh I would reduce contact but I can understand the loneliness you might feel
But he seema like a.headache tbh

Tell him he can kiss your whip.

Am I alone in suspecting that he is simply lying about the OP's mum proposing to give him half her estate?

i totally agree. Said sister loved him so much she was going to give him something substantial anyway, before he asked!
OP wasn’t of the mind to give him nothing.
but the fact he doesn’t think that’s enough seems to have sullied the whole gift

Omg OP, if you have 4 children and he has none, you need to think of them.

Give him 10% if you must. It will still help him.

Keep a big chunk for your kids and then some for you to live on/retire etc.

Don’t you mind his guilt trip. He’s just trying to get your money. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s been planning it for ages, getting in with you etc. 25% is way too much!!

If he won’t be in your life anymore then it’s his choice. Be clear that you are giving most of the money to your children for their futures and if he complains then you know he’s not a good person to have in your life anyway.

Your relationship seems to hang on whether or not you give your half brother some (half!) of your maternal grandmother's legacy. He isn't related to your grandmother and he was estranged from her daughter, your mum who was his step mum.

When he inherited from his own mum, he didn't share it with you.

Additionally, your and his shared father now no longer has mental capacity and you have cleared your father's debts and will need to keep looking after him as he declines further.

You have children and your half brother doesn't. You have offered him 25% but he wants 50% of your grandmother's legacy.

Think I've understood it all.

No, give him a token £10k and keep the rest for yourself and your children.

Nope, I figured he lied from the get-go.

Since it is the maternal grandparent's money, the NVDHB deserves neither a pence nor pound.

@Anonymouslyasking --just remember, anything you "give" your NVDHB is less money you will have to leave your children, improve your life and care for your father. You know, deep down, that NVDHB will not give a dime to support his father.

I truly feel badly for you, though. The fact that you feel the need to "buy" a relationship with your NVDHB is just sad. You are being emotionally blackmailed and extorted with his "pity him" party. What kind of message does this give your children?

You are NOT responsible for how your mother treated or did not treat your NVDHB. His behavior during this makes me wonder how much he contributed to the way he was treated.

His mental health problems are not your circus and not your clown car. Money will not "fix him". It will just be another excuse for him to use in his self-pity mental gymnastics.

Your family unit needs to come first, and that is the reality. Your DC and you are whom your DGPs wanted to inherit. You need to abide by their wishes.

Hello OP
As it is your gran's money, you need to ask yourself whom she would have liked it to benefit? Perhaps an allocation to her descendants - your four children when they come of age would be fair?
Your gran's bequeathment doesn't need to be used to compensate for things your mum has done. Plus your Gran had no relationship with your step-brother.
Think of your children and give your step-brother a share accordingly, is my advice.
You are generous to offer him a share.
All the best

The law is quite clear about your position as sole inheritor.The money is yours ,that is the end of it.Men can be very jealous of women with property or money of their own,I have discovered that since I became a widow.

If it's from your grandparents on her side then he has no entitlement. If she'd wanted him to have it she would have got her will changed. He shouldn't even ask. Explain that it's not linked to your dad and you're following the will. The end.

Amidst all the confusion I'd say give him whatever amount you feel you'd like to, but it doesn't have to be half. It's your choice (and you are in a better position to make it than people who don't know all the background).

You've got to think what your grandma would have wanted to happen with her money. And would she be expecting it to be shared with your half brother or her great-grandchildren.
I know of a family: grandma (lovely / generous), daughter (waster / taker / self absorbed), granddaughter (lovely / caring). Grandma could have had a ball & spent her own money, but she didn't, she saved it! & then chose to leave it all to her kind & caring granddaughter. Because that was her choice for her money!

His "fair share" of it is exactly what was written in the will and nothing more. Your attempt at emotional manipulation is pathetic. If he is going to fall out with her over what he considers he's entitled to of HER money and which HE DEFINITELY ISN'T ENTITLED TO, then he might as well get lost and nothing of value will be lost to her.