To not want to share my inheritance equaly

[Anonymouslyasking]

My half brother who I love dearly wants me to share my inheritance with him, he says my mum told him she would share it half half. That's not what she told me. Mum had passed away so we can't clarify now.
He received an inheritance from his mum that he didn't share.

I'm happy to give him a share but I feel half is too much. I don't want yo fall out with him but I feel it's unfair. AIBU?

No chance! He wants half, but your mums money came from her parents, and it has nothing to do with your (shared) father. He's trying it on luv. Tell him no. Don't give him a cut of it. He wasn't generous with his inheritance when his own mum died, so return the favour and DON'T be forthcoming with yours! Give him diddly zero squat!

Honestly don't give him a penny! I think you're trying to buy his love and he is willing to dictate how much he gets! No matter how much money you give him you will probably never see him again as he'll up and leave you regardless, he's clearly just trying his luck

That is your money,your Mum wanted you to have all.Men are so weird about women owning property and having their own money.I have discovered this more and more since I became a widow.

No way is he entitled to anything

I’m sorry OP but he is taking the piss and if you go forward with this, you are a total mug.

Cheeky get

Given this information and the fact that she didn't leave him half in her will, why would you share? It's disrespectful to the person who made a will to go against her wishes that she expressed in her last will and testament. I'd be pissed off if someone went against my wishes if I took the time and energy to make a will. He sounds like an AH who's trying to manipulate you. Very narcissistic or sociopathic and perhaps that's why he and your mom didn't get along.

Tbf if your mum had no will he’d get no money through the laws of probate

Totally agree with your comments...

No you’re not. Under the intestacy rules your moms estate would pass to you as the sole beneficiary. He would have to have a pretty strong case to challenge this and claim he is entitled to half her estate rather than just claim she verbally told him

Hello OP. Sorry for your loss. First time father to be here so wanted to add my 2 cents from a guys perspective. I've spent a long time reading through the comments and your replies, I'm not even sure you're still reading the comments but if you are then I think it was worth adding my bit.

As almost EVERYONE has said, you owe your half brother nothing. Not morally and not legally. Don't even look at this as inheritance from your mother, it's not, it's direct inheritance from your grandparents on your mother's side. It makes no difference if your mother DID tell him she would leave him half, if she's no longer here then she what she left to you (if anything) is already done.
Your grandparents have no ties to your half brother at all and I would imagine they would be horrified that what they spent their lives accumulating is even being considered going to him, even in part. It's not on. That money/assets are yours and yours alone. Think about YOUR future, YOUR children, YOUR life. As you said yourself, Your half brother 1. Never shared his mother's inheritance with you and 2. Didn't even speak to your mother for 20+ years. It sounds to me like your half brother is taking massive advantage of you and you need to nip that in the bud straight away. If he falls out with you over it then he wasn't worth wasting your time on in the first place. As for your dad, you mentioned he's 'a waster' and 'left nothing but debt'. He may want you to share it with your half brother but 1. He's clearly not reliable at making life choices and 2. He's trying to make sure both his kids have some cash, even at the expense of one of them having less than they should have.
My advice (if it's not already clear enough), is DO NOT GIVE YOUR HALF BROTHER A PENNY. It's not his, it never was and he's not entitled to it. Once again, think of your life and your future.
I hope you make the right decision.

Your mum and your gran both had the option to write a will where he was left a share. Neither of them did. Their intention is clear.

It’s very possible that he did ask your mum ‘will you leave me half hour inheritance’ and she might have (reluctantly) said yes just to get him off her back about it. She had every opportunity to sort out a will, as she probably did have some idea about inheritance laws so I suspect she knew exactly what she was doing. They may well turn in their grave if you pass him any money, let alone 25%.

Is there some compromise whereby you could buy a property where he could live rent-free or something. Once he passes, this would still belong to your children. This could potentially come with lots of issues around maintenance and upkeep etc but I wonder if there are ways to pre-empt issues like this. He would be taken care of but your children’s inheritance would still be protected.

several people have inquired about the history of this money- did it come from your father? if so, 1/2 was dads and 1/2 was mums. you get all of mums, you split dads. BUT if his mums money came from your father and he didnt include you, well then has some explaining to do. i’d approach this as a history lesson in equity and fairness.

Don’t share simples. He didn’t share his inheritance from his mum why should you?

So, your mum has already passed away and now so has your gran do you are actually inheriting straight from your gran? If so then no I wouldn't, maybe a small token but absolutely not half

This link shows ( I hope) all of OPs posts.
The money came from her maternal grandma. Her mother predeceased her grandma so there was no inheritance from her mum.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5024062-to-not-want-to-share-my-inheritance-equaly?postsby=Anonymouslyasking

Also as you inherited directly from your mum’s mum by law he is not entitled to a penny.

Look you clearly don’t really want to give him a fair share of it - don’t then, it’s your money. Be prepared to lose a brother though. if you can live with that - I don’t see the issue. Just don’t share half as he wants you to - anything less is going to cause a rift so just don’t and live with that. 🤷🏻‍♀️

You don't say how big each inheritance was, and that doesn't really matter since he had his own mother and own inheritance which he didn't offer to share. If yours was considerably larger, offer him 10% if your heart so inclines. Half is ridiculous, and he's rather ballsy to ask for that.

hettie you've hit the nail on the head, three times 😑

Not at all. He didn't share his so why is he expecting you to share yours?

This

If you have already offered him 25%, and he has refused saying it’s not enough, I would consider saying that you are really sad he feels that way, but that was your max. And you’ve now had a chance to take legal advice, and time to really consider the implications of your hasty offer, and realised that you were being overly generous with your children’s future inheritance.

Give him 20% and tell him to be grateful. If the shoe was on the other foot how much would he give you?