To not want to share my inheritance equaly

[Anonymouslyasking]

My half brother who I love dearly wants me to share my inheritance with him, he says my mum told him she would share it half half. That's not what she told me. Mum had passed away so we can't clarify now.
He received an inheritance from his mum that he didn't share.

I'm happy to give him a share but I feel half is too much. I don't want yo fall out with him but I feel it's unfair. AIBU?

And yet, I have a different opinion. Shocking, I know.

I think you should think about your gran and how she would feel about the situation. At the end if the day it was her money and would she have wanted it to go to your half brother? It is your inheritance and you are entitled to do whatever you want to with it. If you love your brother and want to give him some money that is your choice. But he is not entitled to it and I would be vary wary if he is demanding it from you as that is a very selfish act and maybe he is not so caring towards you as you are to him. Did you demand half of his? Something to think about!
You owe him nothing and the way your mum was with him is nothing to do with you or your gran nor her money

The money wasn't from the father it was from the mother's parents.

This is your inheritance from your Grandmother. This is about her wishes, you've stated that your Grandmother had no relationship with your brother nor saw him as a grandchild because he's not actually part of your mother's family. Your inheritance has nothing to do with your half brother. As other people here have pointed out how your parents behaved with your brother is nothing to do with you. It sounds as though neither of you had a great childhood but you are not responsible and should feel no guilt on this matter. It does come across as though your half brother is manipulating you (and you have stated that you are a people pleaser) and feeding your guilt in order to get you to hand over 50% of your inheritance, of which he has absolutely no claim. You have 4 children, I would put them first. They are your responsibility. He's had money from his mother and has no dependents. It also appears that you are the one who is picking up the cost for your father. You have a once in a lifetime opportunity to help set up your 4 children for when they become adults. That is an amazing gift. I strongly suggest you rethink giving your half brother any of your inheritance. If you really must give him a token amount of £5k, at most. But use that inheritance for your children and you. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

@Anonymouslyasking I can't believe what I've just read. Your brother is a greedy and entitled cheeky fucker of the highest order!! He had his own inheritance from his mother and he didn't share any with you but now you've inherited a larger sum than him suddenly he's demanding HALF of yours and thinks the 25% you're offering isn't good enough!!

OP seriously stop being such a doormat, I bet your brother will piss it away then come back for more money. Keep it for yourself and your kids and out of your brother's greedy hands, he's already thrown your generous offer back in your face and demanded a larger slice of the pie, that alone means you're not obligated to give him a penny and to rescind your offer, if your first offer ain't good enough he gets fuck all.

I know you state several times you feel bad for how your mother treated him but that wasn't your fault, you sound like a lovely sister and all you get in return from your brother is demanding, entitlement and take take take. What has he done for you? You also state you're scared he won't talk to you but in all honesty I can't see anything good that he adds to your life why would you want someone like that in your life never mind giving them money they have no right to. Please see therapist or listen to the brilliant posts from others on here that cost nothing but are very insightful.

When you say your half brother what is the actual family history I assume you share the same Dad? If so from what age did your Mum bring your brother up?

This! Very cheeky to expect you to do what he didn't. With the same Dad that would be equal so can't believe he feels he's entitled to your Mum's. I'm so sorry for your loss, worst thing in the world losing a parent. Xx

It's hard enough losing your mum without half siblings arguing about money, I think he's being very unreasonable and I would just keep it as your mum wished. I take it she wrote a will and if he's not in it then so be it.

I agree with everyone else. He's trying it on. Your mom left it to you . Its your inheritance alone. Take your time deciding what you want to do with your money. He's had his inheritance from his mother - didn't share any of it with you did he ? If your mom wanted to leave him some money she would have put it in her will.

This is an inheritance you have received from your grandmother. Your mum has no role in this because tragically she died before your grandma passed away. Would your mother have lived she might have made a will but very sadly for everyone she didn't and never inherited herself in any case. I can't for the life of me see what moral claim your half-brother has to your grandmother's inheritance. If you're close, he would be a nice man and you would value the relationship there might be a case for being generous and giving him 25% but he has already made clear that this isn't enough for him. That's the point where you need to step away because there's nothing which will fix this now. If you give him 25% and you continue to have a relationship he will be resentful because you 'only' gave him 25% - so damage done in any case. You don't want to and neither should you give him 50%. I am afraid he comes across as a greedy and entitled man. If he valued you he would not approach you with such selfish demands when you have suffered two bereavements in such a short period of time. I am sorry for your loss.

I really wouldn’t even have considered sharing in those circumstances. If it is a large inheritance I might give him a couple of grand for a holiday or something but he has no rights or expectations on your grandparents estate. And this is nothing to do with your mum either it is your grandparents estate - where they got it from is none of his business.

He sounds money driven and is playing on your love for him, deserves sweet fuck all.

I promise you, the best thing for you to do is to keep it all.

He has no legal or moral right to this money. It's actually your Grandma's money and that is that. It's utterly shameless of him to ask you. The relationship will probably suffer whatever you do, so please keep it all.

Honestly I would take your mum out of this. The money came from your gran and not your mother and so what your mother said to him was irrelevant. The only wishes you should take into account are hers. Would she have wanted you to share the money? Ultimately the moral thing to do is to follow what she would have wanted and not what your brother wants. It might seem unfair to him but life isn’t always fair.

I think as it’s straight from your grandparents you should Follow their wishes which was for it to go to you, just as his mums wish was for it to go to him, had your mum inherited it and then changed her will it would be different but it’s from your grandparents you can’t ignore their wishes he seems very entitled x

Just don’t.

Maybe calculate how much you both got, divide by two - he will already have had however much he kept from his mother’s inheritance, so you can give him half of the inheritance from your mother less what he kept of his.
eg
If HB received £ 10k from his mother and kept it, rather than sharing £5k each, then you inherited £15k from your mother eg £7.5k each.
He has already had £5k so all he is entitled to by your good grace would be £2.5k.
If your mother did not make a will leaving him money, you are not obliged to take account of him saying he should get a share. Did your mother ever indicate to you that she wanted him to have half? If not then you should not take on trust or feel obliged to give him anything. Frankly, he sounds very greedy. I’d be inclined to say as he didn’t share his inheritance with you, you have no intention of sharing yours with him. Don’t be emotionally blackmailed.

my thoughts exactly as he owed your Mum 20 years of not speaking to her…. I’m in similar situation and I WONT Be sharing bad all! My children will get by Half brothers share.

Yet again another sad case where the simple writing of a will would have clarified the matter. Everybody - write a will! You're never too young!

Just to add, even if you do give him some of the inheritance, he'll have to pay tax on it, probably. Who'll be paying his tax bill? Bet it won't be him. Please don't leave him anything. As another poster said, where will it end?

Both our parents have a split including grandchildren, so that introduces some bias from me but I think it would be fair to split it from grandparents 5 ways between you and your children, then split your 20% share plus his mum's inheritance with your brother, so he gets 10% minus half whatever he was left from his own mother.

It's the easiest to explain to him about how the grandparents would want shares of the money to go to the next generation. If he can't accept that, and accept the deduction of sharing his mum's inheritance too, then you're better off understanding that his only interest is in your money.

Sorry for your losses x

Surely it depends entirely on your mother's will. If she died intestate then it depends on the legislation.
If this has all been sorted and you are legally entitled to your inheritance, then your reply to your half brother is - sorry Mum didn't include you in her will (or whatever). Had she wanted you to inherit she would have written that down.
If you want to give your half brother something, that’s your choice, but don’t involve the inheritance he received from his own mother. That’s completely irrelevant. And unfortunately for your brother, it is completely irrelevant from where your mother received her money.

I would say he can keep the half you are owed from his mums inheritance! Money makes people crazy it’s so sad. If he honestly wants half and is willing to fall out with you then you don’t someone like that in your life!

You don’t owe anybody anything from your inheritance and that includes your brother. If your mother wanted him to have half, she would have written it down somewhere and she would have told you as well. If he falls out with you over YOUR inheritance, then he’s not the person you think he is. Don’t let him or anyone else take advantage of you. Put the money in a safe place, growing interest, until you figure out what to do.

If your mum wanted him to have anything he would have been named in her will (if she left one) or she would have made sure she told you.
Your her child she wanted YOU to be her beneficiary so I’m afraid I’d say so mate your not getting a penny; you didn’t give me anything from your mums estate so I’m not giving you any from mine if he gets arsey tough he obviously is just a grasping sod