To not want to share my inheritance equaly

[Anonymouslyasking]

My half brother who I love dearly wants me to share my inheritance with him, he says my mum told him she would share it half half. That's not what she told me. Mum had passed away so we can't clarify now.
He received an inheritance from his mum that he didn't share.

I'm happy to give him a share but I feel half is too much. I don't want yo fall out with him but I feel it's unfair. AIBU?

@Anonymouslyasking It was never your mum's inheritance to give away. Your grandmother hadn't passed away, your mum didn't inherit the money. She could say what she liked to your half brother, but there was nothing there for her to give. Your grandmother has given it all to you.

I would, if I were being generous, give your brother the 25% you were thinking of and that would be it.
I suspect he wouldn't be happy but sadly that's how it is.
I also suspect he will remove himself from your life, but you have your own family to think of and 25% is better than what he would be inheriting by the eyes of the law should he take it to court.

Maybe decide what to do once you have told him what you are thinking of giving him. That might make you feel like not wanting to give him any.

This. I wish people would read up on or understand half/step relationships.

On further thought, in the vanishingly unlikely event I inherited from my (rich) birth fathers family, I would indeed share with my half brother and sister. The difference with your scenario OP is that neither would behave like your brother is, insisting on half when he is entitled to nothing.

@Anonymouslyasking I think you need to give what you feel comfortable giving. It was your grandmother money. It wasn't your mum's. Your mum would / may have inherited it had your grandmother passed first but that's not what happened. I think your brother is going to be ungrateful if you give him any less than half. However, your not obliged to give him anything. Forget your mum. What would your grandmother have wanted?

I agree, it's easy to put words in the departed's mouth. She told he would get a bit. But it's his word against mine really

He received an inheritance from his mum that he didn't share.

So what's his is his, and what's yours is half his?

Yeah, right

My gran did not see home as a grandson

You and your brother are stewing over something that never happened and won't ever happen now.

Yes basically, he says she told him that when she inherited from my gran she would give him half.

Whether your mum said this or not is irrelevant as it didn't happen. Dead people can't inherit. As your mum died before your gran, she couldn't and didn't inherit.

You inherited directly from your gran which is a completely different situation. Presumably your gran didn't say anything about giving your brother half? Did your gran raise him? Did your gran leave a will?

Just tell your brother it's not your mum's inheritance, it's yours from your gran and you won't be sharing just as he didn't share his inheritance from his mum.

Job done.

If you want to treat him to a holiday or something, do that, but he has no claim on your inheritance.

Yes basically

@Anonymouslyasking , seriously, although I very much doubt she said any such thing, it is academic. Your mother didn't inherit this money. You did.

It sounds like he's entitled to nothing. If you want to give him some, that is entirely up to you so you decide how much and you make the offer. He can take it or leave it.

I would, if I were being generous, give your brother the 25% you were thinking of and that would be it
I suspect he wouldn't be happy but sadly that's how it is

OP said 25% wouldnt be enough for him as he wants 50%. Which means she could give him hundreds of thousands of pounds and he'll still disappear from her life because according to him, 25% isnt enough.

There is no way I'd be giving a manipulator like that a single penny. Thats not love and if you love someone you don't behave like that. It's blackmail, pure and simple. His lack of love for her is further evidenced by the fact he didnt even buy her so much as a meal out when he inherited from his own mother. There is no love there. Not a single ounce of it.

Your gran left it (inadvertently) to you, not to him.

Ignoring the fact that the money was never your mum's to bequeath to anyone, the story doesn't stack up.

You are considering giving him a "life changing" sum of money (at the expense of your 4 children) even though you have admitted that you don't really want to, because you feel guilty about how your mother treated him.

This is the same mother who (he says) cared about him so much that she had promised to leave him half of her estate?

So, was she horrible to him, or did she want him to have complete equality with her biological daughter?

I missed the post saying they shared a Dad. Shoot me now ! Lots of families call their blended family siblings "step etc'.

Either way, I don't think she should give him a penny. He clearly didn't care for her mother but is suddenly rediscovering his love for her and presumably had no contact with the aged grandparents.

Errr no

You’d be going against your mums direct wishes.

I mean would she want that?

Doesn’t matter

youd be silly to give him half. He might be lying. She didn’t want you to share it in half

i mean. No

Because he wants us to be equal and things to be fair.... I know its not right

I think you’re going to lose him in your life whatever you do 🫤

Yes but the relationship was tumultuous and they didn't see or speak for 20 years.

Yet she wanted to give him half her money? Right.

OP your posts are about as clear as mud.

I understand not wanting to out yourself but you can't ask for advice if you can't even explain what's going on in any basic level of detail.

I’m not meaning to split hairs, I’m just saying please try to understand what step and half means. I think I was 10/11 when it was explained to me and that was partly because my DM and her half sisters were discussing this. I’ve got enough blended family in my own family to last me a life time! 😅

Because he wants us to be equal and things to be fair..

Then, in that case he should have shared his inheritance with you but he didnt did he? he has a strange concept of "fairness"- one that seems to only benefit him

He's a liar. Don't give him anything, for God's sake.

Your Mum and he didn't speak for 20 years so you KNOW she never said she wanted him to get half of your GMs money.

And you know damn well your Granny didn't want him to have half, or she'd have left it to him. He was no relation to her, and she didn't see him as a grandson. He's manipulative and sly.

Anything you give to him is money you are depriving your children of. Don't do it.

You might be right. If I gave half away I couldn't look my children in the eyes... If I give him less there will be a unrepairable rift between us